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mrsdragon's review against another edition
3.0
This book came well recommended and as someone already on board with the ideas of treating children with respect and giving them room to discover things on their own, I thought it would be an interesting read. Instead, it was an exercise in rolling my eyes at the sheer boomer audacity of it all.
I agree with the overall thesis of the book...children do best when we seek to give them tools (critical thinking) and not answers. The stories of the experiments the author has run in her lab were fascinating glimpses into brain development and the science behind that thesis. But, that could have easily been a single article, or, if you really wanted all the details on the experiments, a chapter or two. The rest of the book is fluffed up variously with poor "evolutionary" arguments she is setting up to debunk, truisms of dubious accuracy, her own personal interactions with her grandsons, and throwaway, single sentence, asides on politically charged topics. Despite her stated intentions, her phrasing is often breathtakingly callous (we love children "despite" any medical conditions they may have? With a heavy implication that this is senseless and illogical? Giving children ADHD meds is "drugging 3 year olds"?). If you can push past that the intended messages (we love our children unconditionally, schools should change to accommodate a diversity of brains rather than expecting all children to conform to a single mold) are good but constantly doing so is exhausting. Especially for so little "meat".
If you are looking for actual help on HOW to parent this way, pick up [b:Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child|27276440|Raising Human Beings Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child|Ross W. Greene|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1470579356l/27276440._SY75_.jpg|47330713] or [b:How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk|769016|How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk|Adele Faber|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1442201568l/769016._SY75_.jpg|2738870]. For a more substantial discussion of some adjacent theory, pick up [b:Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise and Other Bribes|541132|Punished by Rewards The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise and Other Bribes|Alfie Kohn|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1422456630l/541132._SY75_.jpg|776112].
I agree with the overall thesis of the book...children do best when we seek to give them tools (critical thinking) and not answers. The stories of the experiments the author has run in her lab were fascinating glimpses into brain development and the science behind that thesis. But, that could have easily been a single article, or, if you really wanted all the details on the experiments, a chapter or two. The rest of the book is fluffed up variously with poor "evolutionary" arguments she is setting up to debunk, truisms of dubious accuracy, her own personal interactions with her grandsons, and throwaway, single sentence, asides on politically charged topics. Despite her stated intentions, her phrasing is often breathtakingly callous (we love children "despite" any medical conditions they may have? With a heavy implication that this is senseless and illogical? Giving children ADHD meds is "drugging 3 year olds"?). If you can push past that the intended messages (we love our children unconditionally, schools should change to accommodate a diversity of brains rather than expecting all children to conform to a single mold) are good but constantly doing so is exhausting. Especially for so little "meat".
If you are looking for actual help on HOW to parent this way, pick up [b:Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child|27276440|Raising Human Beings Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child|Ross W. Greene|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1470579356l/27276440._SY75_.jpg|47330713] or [b:How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk|769016|How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk|Adele Faber|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1442201568l/769016._SY75_.jpg|2738870]. For a more substantial discussion of some adjacent theory, pick up [b:Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise and Other Bribes|541132|Punished by Rewards The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise and Other Bribes|Alfie Kohn|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1422456630l/541132._SY75_.jpg|776112].
slelswick's review against another edition
3.0
This was a little disappointing, I must admit right up front. Yet another parenting book that offers the best advice in the introduction, which is as a parent, we should offer our children the best environment to explore and grow similar to how a gardener prepares and tends to a garden as opposed to a carpenter who dictates the outcome. Although there isn't anything wrong with that, our current teaching to the standardized testing kills creativity and self-awareness discovery. We would do better to ease up a bit and just let children play. Discover. Create. But I didn't need an entire book devoted to that philosophy. This would have been better as a magazine article. I skipped and skimmed around a lot as a result.
elliecrowley's review
slow-paced
1.0
Interesting concept, poorly executed. Tried to cover too much, but in no depth. Had nothing original to say.
violet_gray's review against another edition
3.0
Having 2 kids was easier than reading this book.
That being said: solid ideas.
If you’re philosophically struggle with your parenting style then this is great book. This book should be in the self help/personal growth section and not in the parenting section
If you’re looking fo a how to parent book try How to talk so kids will listen.
That being said: solid ideas.
If you’re philosophically struggle with your parenting style then this is great book. This book should be in the self help/personal growth section and not in the parenting section
If you’re looking fo a how to parent book try How to talk so kids will listen.
jaraka's review against another edition
K. So I didn’t make it far at all. This book is not really what I expected and to be honest I initially bristled at the idea that “Parenting” (as a verb and action word) is unnecessary. I Take pride and identity in being an intentional parent. And intentional or peaceful parenting. So I found the first chapter or two quite insightful and thought provoking because it challenges my method of reading all the books in order to not mess up my kids. But I definitely see her point and I think the science is sound. However, I found the text itself painfully slow and quite redundant. I wish that it was shorter and more succinct... and I especially wish their was more positivity. Maybe the later part of the book is more positive and practical but the first chapters felt quite negative.
Anyway. Not a bad book. Interesting insight. Just too academic and slow for me right now.
Anyway. Not a bad book. Interesting insight. Just too academic and slow for me right now.
sophiewilliams's review against another edition
3.0
A look at some studies about parenting and whether we need to take a step back from a goal based approach