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3.18 AVERAGE
3.18 AVERAGE
I read the first half, was not having fun, so then skimmed the second half. Nathaniel P started college the same year I did, but he went to Harvard, where he was the lone intellectual in a sea of entitled wealthy scions. Now in his early thirties, he is a slightly hot stuff writer in Brooklyn, amazed that his success has made him a bit of a player in his (extremely insular) dating scene.
Nathaniel P thinks women are simply not as smart as men, or at least not as smart in the preferred way that he alone can define—but Nathaniel P feels a little bad about this secret belief. Nathaniel P feels that he’d really like to sleep with a lot of women who are objectively, unequivocally beautiful or important (in that order), and it’s a shame so many of those women have flaws like slightly too small breasts, or visible pores on their noses, or an interest in terribly frivolous subjects like their own friends and families, but Nathaniel P feels a little bad about being so shallow.
Kerry G feels that Nathaniel P is so insufferable and entitled, that Nathaniel P's moments of self-doubt so under-examined and ineffective at prompting any growth that Nathaniel P should immediately be branded with some sort of warning signal so that all people interested in empathy or authentic human connection can run in the opposite direction immediately upon encountering him. Kerry G feels that Adelle Waldman is a good writer, but the detached acceptance with which Nathaniel P's consciousness iss narrated was too disturbing to count as "recreational reading." Kerry G feels that Nathaniel P is every terrible-but-not-actually-violent aspect of a culture that doesn't really like women to exist outside of the mother/whore dichotomy embodied in one little non-threatening, self-absorbed, smug package. Kerry G has better things to do than get inside Nathaniel P's head.
Nathaniel P thinks women are simply not as smart as men, or at least not as smart in the preferred way that he alone can define—but Nathaniel P feels a little bad about this secret belief. Nathaniel P feels that he’d really like to sleep with a lot of women who are objectively, unequivocally beautiful or important (in that order), and it’s a shame so many of those women have flaws like slightly too small breasts, or visible pores on their noses, or an interest in terribly frivolous subjects like their own friends and families, but Nathaniel P feels a little bad about being so shallow.
Kerry G feels that Nathaniel P is so insufferable and entitled, that Nathaniel P's moments of self-doubt so under-examined and ineffective at prompting any growth that Nathaniel P should immediately be branded with some sort of warning signal so that all people interested in empathy or authentic human connection can run in the opposite direction immediately upon encountering him. Kerry G feels that Adelle Waldman is a good writer, but the detached acceptance with which Nathaniel P's consciousness iss narrated was too disturbing to count as "recreational reading." Kerry G feels that Nathaniel P is every terrible-but-not-actually-violent aspect of a culture that doesn't really like women to exist outside of the mother/whore dichotomy embodied in one little non-threatening, self-absorbed, smug package. Kerry G has better things to do than get inside Nathaniel P's head.
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Insufferable though not entirely inaccurate. A story about a relationship that goes stale is in itself quite stale. Nevermind that the "complex" millennial characters are wholly unlike-able.
The unlikeable writers in the book would write a book like this.
fast-paced
I don’t know how to feel about this book. I finished it, but I was annoyed the entire time. And that’s partially the point, but still… It was sometimes funny and many times too familiar. Truthfully, this is probably not the time in my life for this book, I bet I would’ve loved it in my twenties.
Oh Nate. Hyper-aware, socially-conscious, guilt-ridden Nate. I find it fascinating that this book is a book about women from the perspective of a "feminist" modern man, written by a woman. I am curious to hear what male readers, especially straight males who self identify as progressive or feminist would think of this book.
I found Nate confounding. His words say that he wants a woman who is intelligent, insightful, and funny. And he meets her. And then pulls the classic "GOD, NOTHING IS WRONG! You are making mountains out of molehills!" *acts like an asshole* trick to get her to break up with him. Then he decides (in the very last chapters of the book) to date the woman he previously despised. The pretty, shallow one, who everyone thinks slept her way to the top. And he belittles and berates her when they argue, finds her writing vacuous, and has to adapt to her neediness. And this is the relationship that sticks, the one he gives up his apartment (of course) so he can move in with her.
So the thrust of the book appears to be "don't trust those modern men, they only say they want smart chicks, but what really matter is being hot and intellectually unthreatening."
I found it fascinating that a large part of Nick's issues with Hannah stemmed from the fact that he "respected" her to much. Too much to be open about what he wanted sexually. Too much to communicate about the issues in their relationship. He was so busy feeling guilty over his male privilege and over-thinking every little thing that he couldn't make headspace for the relationship that actually existed. (He expected her to be angry, when she wasn't, he couldn't fathom it. Etc.) Yet, when he dates Greer, his lack of respect for her allows him to fight with her--and fight dirty, calling someone a stupid cunt in not exactly good practice. Yet it is during these fights that he manages to tell her what the real issues are. So ironically, it is only with a woman he doesn't respect that he can be open.
Which reframes the thrust of the book into "Feminism has ruined men. They overthink everything and can't really have a relationship with a woman they respect because a man has to feel powerful and domineering in order to have a safe place to communicate."
And wow. I'm not sure if the author is poking fun at Nate (and by extension these sterotypes) or Making A Point about The Evils of Feminism, but either way...ugh.
The writing was interesting and I loved Hannah, even Greer was dimensional enough not to be a trope. But Nate. Oh Nate. He and his friends make me infinitely glad to (a) be married to a man who isn't threatened by intelligence and (b) not know what is going on in the heads of people around me.
I found Nate confounding. His words say that he wants a woman who is intelligent, insightful, and funny. And he meets her. And then pulls the classic "GOD, NOTHING IS WRONG! You are making mountains out of molehills!" *acts like an asshole* trick to get her to break up with him. Then he decides (in the very last chapters of the book) to date the woman he previously despised. The pretty, shallow one, who everyone thinks slept her way to the top. And he belittles and berates her when they argue, finds her writing vacuous, and has to adapt to her neediness. And this is the relationship that sticks, the one he gives up his apartment (of course) so he can move in with her.
So the thrust of the book appears to be "don't trust those modern men, they only say they want smart chicks, but what really matter is being hot and intellectually unthreatening."
I found it fascinating that a large part of Nick's issues with Hannah stemmed from the fact that he "respected" her to much. Too much to be open about what he wanted sexually. Too much to communicate about the issues in their relationship. He was so busy feeling guilty over his male privilege and over-thinking every little thing that he couldn't make headspace for the relationship that actually existed. (He expected her to be angry, when she wasn't, he couldn't fathom it. Etc.) Yet, when he dates Greer, his lack of respect for her allows him to fight with her--and fight dirty, calling someone a stupid cunt in not exactly good practice. Yet it is during these fights that he manages to tell her what the real issues are. So ironically, it is only with a woman he doesn't respect that he can be open.
Which reframes the thrust of the book into "Feminism has ruined men. They overthink everything and can't really have a relationship with a woman they respect because a man has to feel powerful and domineering in order to have a safe place to communicate."
And wow. I'm not sure if the author is poking fun at Nate (and by extension these sterotypes) or Making A Point about The Evils of Feminism, but either way...ugh.
The writing was interesting and I loved Hannah, even Greer was dimensional enough not to be a trope. But Nate. Oh Nate. He and his friends make me infinitely glad to (a) be married to a man who isn't threatened by intelligence and (b) not know what is going on in the heads of people around me.
This left a lot to be desired for me. I did not particularly care for the characterization - and oftentimes objectification - of the female characters (though I do recognize this was a book about a man’s relationships and perspectives).
Overly written - almost to the point of seeming desperate. And the ending left a lot to be desired.