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3.18 AVERAGE
3.18 AVERAGE
if fiction is ultimately supposed to accomplish interiority (let's start there, anyways), Love Affairs is hitting for average basically out of the gate. extraordinary command of the written language (fielding?) makes this a two-tool novel, at least.
I could keep going with this fractionally-baked 5 tools metaphor ('symbolism' was getting ready to make an entrance as hitting for power and maybe 'narrative structure' = running speed?), but basically what I am trying to convey is that this is a really, really good novel about relationships. also I think I got most of the jokes, although I did have to google the Bernhard (p 29) reference.
the pull quote from Ben Kunkel on the back calls Love Affairs a novel of 'twenty-first- century manners', by which I think he means 'it's about dating and love and the predilections of carroll gardens brooklyn, but it's super-well done and there's lots of insight.' if you were looking for weaknesses here one could certain make an obscene hand gesture and comment about south brooklyn's navel-gazing fascination with a tired set of upmarket white-people concerns (which waldman herself seems to feel a bit uncomfortable with, at times) - but I actually think that would be unfair. write what you know, after all, and waldman manages to spend 240 p. in the territory of Feelings and guys and bodies without ever once veering off into bad sex writing or supermarket-aisle women's magazine copy ("Lose 10 Pound in 10 Days on Our Super Summer Diet"). if you think that's easy, try doing it.
I could keep going with this fractionally-baked 5 tools metaphor ('symbolism' was getting ready to make an entrance as hitting for power and maybe 'narrative structure' = running speed?), but basically what I am trying to convey is that this is a really, really good novel about relationships. also I think I got most of the jokes, although I did have to google the Bernhard (p 29) reference.
the pull quote from Ben Kunkel on the back calls Love Affairs a novel of 'twenty-first- century manners', by which I think he means 'it's about dating and love and the predilections of carroll gardens brooklyn, but it's super-well done and there's lots of insight.' if you were looking for weaknesses here one could certain make an obscene hand gesture and comment about south brooklyn's navel-gazing fascination with a tired set of upmarket white-people concerns (which waldman herself seems to feel a bit uncomfortable with, at times) - but I actually think that would be unfair. write what you know, after all, and waldman manages to spend 240 p. in the territory of Feelings and guys and bodies without ever once veering off into bad sex writing or supermarket-aisle women's magazine copy ("Lose 10 Pound in 10 Days on Our Super Summer Diet"). if you think that's easy, try doing it.
If I wasn't so utterly convinced that this book was meant to be satirical, I would give it 1 star. And I think a lot of people did misinterpret this book. I did at first as well.
Nate is embodiment of all the fears women have about men. He is shallow, moody, and perpetually unhappy. Claiming to want this, but in actuality, really wants that. He criticizes girlfriends for unflattering jeans, a little arm "jiggle", for being too girly or not feminine enough. He is a fickle jerk, who consistently convinces himself that he feels SO MUCH but chickens out the moment the woman in his life asks for his feelings to be vocalized. He makes completely blanket statements about women and their intentions in careers, relationships and goals, but allows a pass to his equally douchy male friends who make the same overarching conclusions about the female gender. He will blatantly check out a woman in front of his SO, but becomes pissy when in that same conversation, the girlfriend tunes out when he starts talking about literature, and brings it up with a very "I'm a guy. That's what I do. But YOU? How dare you not listen to me when I'm speaking?!"
Nate is every asshole I dated between the ages of 18 to the present. He takes many of the worst qualities of my ex-boyfriends, and rolls them up into an equally intolerable ball of insecurity and narcissism.
This book was infuriating, but I think that was the point. As this book is coming from a female author, I can imagine it was written as a field guide of sorts. Ladies, Nate is a guy that you will date when you're looking for your partner, your ONE, your almost-ONE, whatever. In fact, you'll probably end up dating dozens of guys that exude the same self-centered, overly critical-of-you eye that Nate does. Hell, make these people more impoverished and lost (career wise), and this was my life at 22.
Pretty clearly from the way that the character makes me seethe every time he was "annoyed" that his girlfriend invited him to brunch, or how he hated the way she had throw pillows, or how his wandering mental eye made me uncomfortable at pretty much any point in the book is a clear show that Adelle Waldman is a talented writer. The book features more vignettes into a life more than an overarching story, but I feel like that might even be more true to how life is. Sometimes, relationships don't have a climax, and the resolution / end can be less then spectacular.
The only reason I'm not giving this book 5 stars is because it did almost TOO good of a job of making me hate Nate, that I can't bear to give his imaginary self the benefit of highest praise. (YES, THAT IS HOW MUCH OF A GIANT DICK THIS GUY IS)
As far as Waldman goes, I look forward to her next release. I know there is a sequel, which views the events of the book from the eyes of Aurit, the only woman in Nate's life that can stand him (mostly because she had the wherewithal to avoid anything romantic with him), but I don't know if I even want to look at this guy again. Nate is a character I am glad to leave behind, and one that I hope I won't have to encounter in my dating life again. He is pre-Millennial entitled masculine ass masquerading as a sensitive and profoundly deep soul. But as we can see from his internal monologue and the way he is painted by Waldman, that this is all a lie. And a damn good one.
Nate is embodiment of all the fears women have about men. He is shallow, moody, and perpetually unhappy. Claiming to want this, but in actuality, really wants that. He criticizes girlfriends for unflattering jeans, a little arm "jiggle", for being too girly or not feminine enough. He is a fickle jerk, who consistently convinces himself that he feels SO MUCH but chickens out the moment the woman in his life asks for his feelings to be vocalized. He makes completely blanket statements about women and their intentions in careers, relationships and goals, but allows a pass to his equally douchy male friends who make the same overarching conclusions about the female gender. He will blatantly check out a woman in front of his SO, but becomes pissy when in that same conversation, the girlfriend tunes out when he starts talking about literature, and brings it up with a very "I'm a guy. That's what I do. But YOU? How dare you not listen to me when I'm speaking?!"
Nate is every asshole I dated between the ages of 18 to the present. He takes many of the worst qualities of my ex-boyfriends, and rolls them up into an equally intolerable ball of insecurity and narcissism.
This book was infuriating, but I think that was the point. As this book is coming from a female author, I can imagine it was written as a field guide of sorts. Ladies, Nate is a guy that you will date when you're looking for your partner, your ONE, your almost-ONE, whatever. In fact, you'll probably end up dating dozens of guys that exude the same self-centered, overly critical-of-you eye that Nate does. Hell, make these people more impoverished and lost (career wise), and this was my life at 22.
Pretty clearly from the way that the character makes me seethe every time he was "annoyed" that his girlfriend invited him to brunch, or how he hated the way she had throw pillows, or how his wandering mental eye made me uncomfortable at pretty much any point in the book is a clear show that Adelle Waldman is a talented writer. The book features more vignettes into a life more than an overarching story, but I feel like that might even be more true to how life is. Sometimes, relationships don't have a climax, and the resolution / end can be less then spectacular.
The only reason I'm not giving this book 5 stars is because it did almost TOO good of a job of making me hate Nate, that I can't bear to give his imaginary self the benefit of highest praise. (YES, THAT IS HOW MUCH OF A GIANT DICK THIS GUY IS)
As far as Waldman goes, I look forward to her next release. I know there is a sequel, which views the events of the book from the eyes of Aurit, the only woman in Nate's life that can stand him (mostly because she had the wherewithal to avoid anything romantic with him), but I don't know if I even want to look at this guy again. Nate is a character I am glad to leave behind, and one that I hope I won't have to encounter in my dating life again. He is pre-Millennial entitled masculine ass masquerading as a sensitive and profoundly deep soul. But as we can see from his internal monologue and the way he is painted by Waldman, that this is all a lie. And a damn good one.
reflective
medium-paced
This book was so fucking relatable it hurt. It's about the particular brand of hell that's modern, urban dating, told through the eyes of the insufferably self-impressed Nate. Waldman absolutely nails the subtleties of this particular type of shitty guy in an intelligent, nuanced way.
Nate's the creative, professionally-connected, Ivy League-educated, 30-something Brooklynite who thinks they own the fucking city and are entitled to the very best women (the incredibly ridiculous balance of hot but chic, fun/light but intellectual, smart but not as smart as them) without ever wanting to be burdened with the banalities of an emotional relationship.
The story is told from the perspective of Nathaniel P. (Nate), the confused-about-women, pretentious, literary up-and-comer. The narrating voice reminded me a bit of Babbit by Sinclair Lewis, in that the main character is this fumbling asshole whose appalling inner monologues are kind of like watching a car crash.
Nate doesn't think he's an asshole – yet he continues to dismiss, overanalyze, condescend to, and generally cast aside the women in his life, all while performing the mental acrobatics of believing he's the one who's been wronged. The tensions of the relationships and the anxieties of both Nate and his girlfriends were spot-on. Absolutely spot-on.
The point is that you're supposed to hate him. At moments you get swept up in his own rationalizations for the way he treats the women in his life, until you realize his ridiculous standards and anxieties leave him incapable of truly caring about women as whole, flawed people. He. is. the. worst.
To be honest, I feel like I'm dating this guy now. And I kinda feel like his cast-aside girlfriend sometimes. The one who should know better but still is really worked up over whether or not he seemed bored over drinks the other night. And the on top of that, the whole thing is set in Brooklyn, on the blocks that I'm always hanging out on. Way. too. real.
Nate's the creative, professionally-connected, Ivy League-educated, 30-something Brooklynite who thinks they own the fucking city and are entitled to the very best women (the incredibly ridiculous balance of hot but chic, fun/light but intellectual, smart but not as smart as them) without ever wanting to be burdened with the banalities of an emotional relationship.
The story is told from the perspective of Nathaniel P. (Nate), the confused-about-women, pretentious, literary up-and-comer. The narrating voice reminded me a bit of Babbit by Sinclair Lewis, in that the main character is this fumbling asshole whose appalling inner monologues are kind of like watching a car crash.
Nate doesn't think he's an asshole – yet he continues to dismiss, overanalyze, condescend to, and generally cast aside the women in his life, all while performing the mental acrobatics of believing he's the one who's been wronged. The tensions of the relationships and the anxieties of both Nate and his girlfriends were spot-on. Absolutely spot-on.
The point is that you're supposed to hate him. At moments you get swept up in his own rationalizations for the way he treats the women in his life, until you realize his ridiculous standards and anxieties leave him incapable of truly caring about women as whole, flawed people. He. is. the. worst.
To be honest, I feel like I'm dating this guy now. And I kinda feel like his cast-aside girlfriend sometimes. The one who should know better but still is really worked up over whether or not he seemed bored over drinks the other night. And the on top of that, the whole thing is set in Brooklyn, on the blocks that I'm always hanging out on. Way. too. real.
Writing is decent and the main character well observed but I found it boring and after 6 chapters was no longer interested in excavating the inner life of a man I didn’t like and reminded me a bit of the worst parts of myself in my 20s. I’d try another book by the author if the subject matter was more interesting but yeah… as for this one, I’m out.
I didn't want to read this book. In fact, I made a conscious effort to NOT add it to my "to read" shelf despite all the hype. But then, my friend lent it to me and told me it was a quick, fascinating read, and I had a trip coming up so...I read it.
I finished it in two plane trips, and my friend was right--it was a quick, fascinating, fun, and engaging book.
Why didn't I want to read it? I didn't want to read it because it was about a young male writer living in Brooklyn and treating women...not so well. Why would I want to read that? It seemed all too close to home. But, in spite of my doubts, what felt familiar actually worked in the book's favor, in my opinion.
Nate, the aforementioned young Brooklyn writer, can't seem to find what he wants in a relationship. He's dated quite a few women and things haven't always ended in the best way. But then he meets Hannah, and maybe this time it will be different. Even though the plot isn't all that interesting or novel, I found Waldman's portrayal of Nate pretty interesting. It's a book by a woman written from a man's perspective which is entirely convincing. At least it was to me. She manages to make Nate both unlikable and vaguely relateable at the same time. His hangups about writing, friendships, and women are petty and immature, but essentially human and compelling.
Waldman's writing is strong and her descriptions of Brooklyn and the literary circles Nate runs with are spot on.
I finished it in two plane trips, and my friend was right--it was a quick, fascinating, fun, and engaging book.
Why didn't I want to read it? I didn't want to read it because it was about a young male writer living in Brooklyn and treating women...not so well. Why would I want to read that? It seemed all too close to home. But, in spite of my doubts, what felt familiar actually worked in the book's favor, in my opinion.
Nate, the aforementioned young Brooklyn writer, can't seem to find what he wants in a relationship. He's dated quite a few women and things haven't always ended in the best way. But then he meets Hannah, and maybe this time it will be different. Even though the plot isn't all that interesting or novel, I found Waldman's portrayal of Nate pretty interesting. It's a book by a woman written from a man's perspective which is entirely convincing. At least it was to me. She manages to make Nate both unlikable and vaguely relateable at the same time. His hangups about writing, friendships, and women are petty and immature, but essentially human and compelling.
Waldman's writing is strong and her descriptions of Brooklyn and the literary circles Nate runs with are spot on.
An extremely accomplished book about a complete arsehole of a man, who is actually fairly typical of most men I've dated - depressing stuff. Best quote to illustrate said contention: "I feel like you want to think what you're feeling is really deep, like some seriously profound existential shit. But to me, it looks like the most tired, the most average thing in the world, the guy who is all interested in a woman until the very moment when it dawns on him that he has her. Wanting only what you can't have. The affliction of shallow morons everywhere." Yep, pretty much. And in the end he gets together with a woman who he can be in a relationship with because he does not regard her as his intellectual equal. Quality dude. I know so many of them.
