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catseye6773's review against another edition
4.0
Helpful and a great launching pad for ideas and questions to ask yourself
ashleyholstrom's review against another edition
5.0
This! Book! is! So! Informative! Sarah Mirk interviews people from all corners of the world and all areas of the gender spectrum about every kind of relationship. Most chapters are a lengthy interview or essay—hi, Erica Moen, Stu Rasmussen, and Tristan Taormino, among others—followed by a list of tips from that interviewee for healthy relationships. Be nice to each other. Communicate deeply before diving into polyamory. Don’t fake orgasm. Be respectful of transitioning and new identities. Be clear upfront about if you want children. Be civil and graceful when it’s time for a relationship to end. It’s a great read to broaden your idea of what a relationship could be, and is one of my new favorite books about relationships.
From 4 Great Books About Relationships at Book Riot.
From 4 Great Books About Relationships at Book Riot.
specksofbeck's review against another edition
4.0
what really solidified this book for me was the interviews - so beautiful and diverse
eososray's review
3.0
I liked it but found that as a lot of the book was written from a 20 something perspective, that I didn't really connect with the thoughts and ideas. There was a lot of great advice though, and I liked the entire premise of doing relationships to fit your life, instead of trying to fit some social construct that does not work for you.
enbyfinley's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
cephaloverlord's review against another edition
3.0
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, but listening to the audiobook was difficult because there wasn't a good differentiation between the author's stories and her interviewer's stories. I also did appreciate that the author starts out with the warnings that this isn't a scientific book. It's nice having a book of stories about individuals in a variety of different relationships. This got me outside of my comfort zone without barraging me with dry facts, which allowed me to more fully understand these different perspectives.
charliethebookaddict's review against another edition
3.0
A criticism I have is her explanation of her biological sex.
Unless she has had full genome sequencing (highly unlikely) she has no idea what chromosomes she has. Biological sex isn't as simple as she tried to make it, and intersex people can show no physical signs and only have intersex chromosomes and never know until they needed full genome sequencing. I feel like research like that is basic respect if you're going to mention a topic you clearly don't know about.
But apart from that I really enjoyed it, and I felt it gave a really good varied view of relationships, sexuality, communication in relationships, breaking up and moving on.
Unless she has had full genome sequencing (highly unlikely) she has no idea what chromosomes she has. Biological sex isn't as simple as she tried to make it, and intersex people can show no physical signs and only have intersex chromosomes and never know until they needed full genome sequencing. I feel like research like that is basic respect if you're going to mention a topic you clearly don't know about.
But apart from that I really enjoyed it, and I felt it gave a really good varied view of relationships, sexuality, communication in relationships, breaking up and moving on.
thelauramay's review against another edition
4.0
I really enjoyed this exploration of relationships and what they *could* be. Through a series of essays it explores different ways of being with others, giving insight into what people want, why it works for them, and how they developed the relationship/s that fulfill them.
hooliaquoolia's review against another edition
4.0
Good insights into how to make your relationships work towards what you want instead of working to make them (and yourself) fit into a nice little box so your mother, her friends, et al, can finally feel comfortable with your life choices.
thepolybrary's review
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
Sex from Scratch is less a how-to relationship book and more a “this is how WE do it” book, a set of anecdotes or case studies that the author compiled to give the reader a much broader look at how relationships function than society usually affords us. (If you’re looking for more of a detailed how-to book, take a look at Polysecure, by Jessica Fern.) This is a fascinating look into non-traditional relationship dynamics and approaches that have worked (or haven’t) for the people involved in them, and it is incredibly refreshing to hear stories about and from other people for whom the traditional monogamous, one-and-only-one mentality simply didn’t work – and to feel acceptance and even joy in that, not shame! Not every story is going to resonate with every person. At least one dynamic that was given as one that could be applied, that of a relationship where one or more partner holds a “veto power” over another, is one I personally feel to be completely unethical regardless of whether all the people involved are fully informed and consenting – but that choice of course belongs to the people involved. The sheer variety and combination of ideas and situations makes this book worth reading, though as the author notes in a foreward, her sample size was small and heavily skewed towards a white, Gen-X or millennial population. The overall takeaway is that regardless of the relationship dynamic details, 100% honesty and a TON of communication is required – no assumptions.
I started by listening to the audio of this and at not quite halfway transitioned to a hard copy because I wanted to be able to take some notes and highlight things.