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arieltf's review against another edition
3.0
This book was okay, I think it just wasn't for me. Sarah Mirk tried to sprinkle in some inclusion and diversity with one-liners that included "and in same-sex relationships," but I think women who date men are much more likely to benefit from her relationship advice. It was a lot of common sense advice on many standard relationship dynamics with one or two nuggets of wisdom thrown in.
Mirk did have a chapter about open relationships and polyamory, but she chose the most harmful, toxic examples to display as the groundwork for her advice. I wanted to tell the man whose wife and mother of his child cheated on him and then pressured him into an open relationship that no one was forcing him to stay in that situation. Unfortunately, stories like that aren't uncommon, but it is irresponsible and misleading to hold them up as the paramount representation of open relationships in a book that claims to glean "real-life knowledge from smart people in a variety of nontraditional relationships."
Mirk did have a chapter about open relationships and polyamory, but she chose the most harmful, toxic examples to display as the groundwork for her advice. I wanted to tell the man whose wife and mother of his child cheated on him and then pressured him into an open relationship that no one was forcing him to stay in that situation. Unfortunately, stories like that aren't uncommon, but it is irresponsible and misleading to hold them up as the paramount representation of open relationships in a book that claims to glean "real-life knowledge from smart people in a variety of nontraditional relationships."
jonobate's review against another edition
2.0
I really wanted to like this book, but I found a lot of the suggestions on how to approach non-monogamy in particular to be unhelpful, even toxic. For example we know by now that veto power does more harm than good, and yet it’s described here positively as a way to protect a couple’s relationship - at the expense, of course, of everyone else they’re involved with.
Instead of a book of brief overviews of topics that the author has interest in but takes no firm position on, I’d recommend that you pick up more focused books written by people who have delved deeply into the topic in question and are better placed to say what works and what doesn’t.
Instead of a book of brief overviews of topics that the author has interest in but takes no firm position on, I’d recommend that you pick up more focused books written by people who have delved deeply into the topic in question and are better placed to say what works and what doesn’t.
taliaschatz's review against another edition
5.0
Excellent. I underlined and sticky noted the entire first chapter. "...we shouldn't treat being single as a tragic limbo but as a time to appreciate independence and date different folks...Value being single as the opportunity it provides for reflection, exploration, and establishing good relationship habits. Practice being honest and commit to being direct. Then watch another episode of Twin Peaks and drink some whiskey. All of these things are possible."
ce_read's review against another edition
3.0
I was misled by the title of this book. It's a nice collection of essays by people who have non-traditional relationship ideas in one way or another. I'm glad this exists but it also felt a lot like just reading a bunch of articles from Bitch magazine. Good reminders, but nothing I haven't read or heard before.
I hope this helps some other people more than it did me!
I hope this helps some other people more than it did me!
allymccudden's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
3.25