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120 reviews for:
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
Ayelet Waldman
3.5 AVERAGE
120 reviews for:
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
Ayelet Waldman
3.5 AVERAGE
not for me. too interested in being controversial, plus some sincerely problematic (though era-aligned) language and assumptions.
Sometimes the book you really need to read, is the book that comes across your lap, your desk, your feed or rises to the top of your queue. Stop wondering why this book appeared now, 5 1/2 years after you added it to your to-read list. Stop agonizing about the other books waiting for your attention, and just read. This e-book was 'available now' on a day when I was stuck without a book for a two hour stretch, with nothing to do but read, limited to reading whatever I could access on my phone (I usually have a book stashed in my car and one in each of my purses). Despite the fact that I thought I knew everything Ayelet Waldman had to say, despite the fact that I had read her husband's parenting memoir Manhood for Amateurs, despite the fact that I didn't love her last two works of fiction, I checked out a digital copy. Good thing too.
Though we have little in common in terms of background, education, profession or families, we share a taste for snark, black humor, and a penchant to beat ourselves up over the smallest thing. Each of her stories resonated with me in a meaningful way. For this reason alone, it rates five stars. Were I a more optimistic person, someone more interested in the lives of the stars and summer fashion, perhaps it would not be so appealing. But there is something about Waldman's 'oops I've done it again' that I find compelling. And as she finds moments of grace in which she can let her swirling brain rest, I too find comfort and let myself relax a little.
Though we have little in common in terms of background, education, profession or families, we share a taste for snark, black humor, and a penchant to beat ourselves up over the smallest thing. Each of her stories resonated with me in a meaningful way. For this reason alone, it rates five stars. Were I a more optimistic person, someone more interested in the lives of the stars and summer fashion, perhaps it would not be so appealing. But there is something about Waldman's 'oops I've done it again' that I find compelling. And as she finds moments of grace in which she can let her swirling brain rest, I too find comfort and let myself relax a little.
A library pickup after Lori's CampCreek site discussed the new "bad mom" trend, where women decide to embrace the title because meeting the standards for the mythical "good mom" are so unreachable today.
After listening to Michael Lewis promoting his new book Home Game just about everywhere, I remembered the envy I felt in the first year of parenthood toward my husband's easy claim to being a good father. Within the first 24 hours of our son's life, he had already been more "hands-on" than his own father had been over a lifetime. Brian is a great father, and would be even if the bar were set much higher, but I am often irked that that bar is set SO low.
Ironically, Waldman seems to have been one of those very self-rightous moms who easily criticize others...until recently.
Struggling with where to rate this one. I devoured it in less than a day...so I did enjoy reading it. But I read it with some unease as even Waldman confesses to her tendency to "overshare." The chapter titled Rocketship is heartbreaking. The book basically calls for compassion.
I found the first and last chapters to be most worthwhile, as they deal with the ongoing battle to be a "good mom". I didn't relate at all to her experience as a stay-at-home mom---it is hard to not get my feathers up when the over-privileged talk about certain topics close to my heart (such as what might have been my fav chapter Free To Be You and I, about sharing of household duties in a marriage, and then I remembered her Salon piece where she confessed neither she nor her husband have ever had to make their own bed)...
Probably a great book for a book club/discussion, and while this genre is often a favorite of mine (Quindlan's Living Out Loud, etc), none of the essays seemed especially strong to me.
After listening to Michael Lewis promoting his new book Home Game just about everywhere, I remembered the envy I felt in the first year of parenthood toward my husband's easy claim to being a good father. Within the first 24 hours of our son's life, he had already been more "hands-on" than his own father had been over a lifetime. Brian is a great father, and would be even if the bar were set much higher, but I am often irked that that bar is set SO low.
Ironically, Waldman seems to have been one of those very self-rightous moms who easily criticize others...until recently.
Struggling with where to rate this one. I devoured it in less than a day...so I did enjoy reading it. But I read it with some unease as even Waldman confesses to her tendency to "overshare." The chapter titled Rocketship is heartbreaking. The book basically calls for compassion.
I found the first and last chapters to be most worthwhile, as they deal with the ongoing battle to be a "good mom". I didn't relate at all to her experience as a stay-at-home mom---it is hard to not get my feathers up when the over-privileged talk about certain topics close to my heart (such as what might have been my fav chapter Free To Be You and I, about sharing of household duties in a marriage, and then I remembered her Salon piece where she confessed neither she nor her husband have ever had to make their own bed)...
Probably a great book for a book club/discussion, and while this genre is often a favorite of mine (Quindlan's Living Out Loud, etc), none of the essays seemed especially strong to me.
This book made me swing back and forth between never ever wanting to be a parent (ack! I am too selfish to mother!) and wanting to have a baby immediately. (A sentiment that I did not share with my paramour, who would probably run for the hills) The kind of memoir I like best - humorous, self deprecating, and with more than a few revelations that I can apply to my own life.
It's tricky to review a book whose author regularly discusses how mean people on the internet are about her writing... This book was unusually all over the place for me. There were chapters that I really enjoyed (including the last one) but also some that drove me up the wall. A lot of that is personal preference and expectation, though. I was hoping for more general discussion of parenthood and less memoir. My TMI threshold is very very high for memoir and Waldman is an enthusiastic sharer. I also thought there was something annoyingly gimmicky about treating her mental issues as a late-breaking big reveal. The chapter on abortion, however, was particularly valuable, making points that don't come up nearly often enough. I didn't really disagree with any of her parenting points/philosophies (although I've never had kids of my own), except for whether she was likely embarrassing her teenaged kids with assorted revelations. She is very Berkeley; a tolerance for that is necessary.
Waldman’s book is about the meme of the “bad mother”—the modern mother, the one who can’t do anything right, the one with expectations on herself and others that cannot possibly be met.
It’s not a great book. But it is a great topic that deserves attention.
It’s tricky writing a memoir that’s couched in bigger ideas, and Waldman falls prey to very things she pretends she cannot stand. Most of her personal stories, though candid, I agree, seem like veiled attempts at reaffirming she is—actually—a great mother. By any standard, her stable home environment, comfortable two-income household, and gaggle of children to boot are something to admire. I think she knows this, at least subconsciously, and makes sure the reader sees how good things are despite her protestations of badness. There’s an occasional arrogance in her tone that put me off. With that being said, there are moments of brilliance. When she’s focusing on the larger issues of what mother means to us culturally, or supposed to mean to us societally, she shines. She’s acerbic, witty, concise. When she tries to bring it home, it’s less successful. I appreciate her honesty, but to what end?
It’s not a great book. But it is a great topic that deserves attention.
It’s tricky writing a memoir that’s couched in bigger ideas, and Waldman falls prey to very things she pretends she cannot stand. Most of her personal stories, though candid, I agree, seem like veiled attempts at reaffirming she is—actually—a great mother. By any standard, her stable home environment, comfortable two-income household, and gaggle of children to boot are something to admire. I think she knows this, at least subconsciously, and makes sure the reader sees how good things are despite her protestations of badness. There’s an occasional arrogance in her tone that put me off. With that being said, there are moments of brilliance. When she’s focusing on the larger issues of what mother means to us culturally, or supposed to mean to us societally, she shines. She’s acerbic, witty, concise. When she tries to bring it home, it’s less successful. I appreciate her honesty, but to what end?
emotional
funny
reflective
Famous as the woman who declared that she loved her husband more than her children, which ignited a firestorm against her. This is a memoir, in which she defends herself, or wonders why she has to defend herself. She's a fine writer, but I still don't know if I like her (which is, of course, why I read memoirs--to find best friends ).
I had a lot of hopes for this book in the beginning and while the sarcasm didn't fail me... the opinion and further discussion about the ultimate bad mothers that was hinted at in the beginning were never given.