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120 reviews for:
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
Ayelet Waldman
3.5 AVERAGE
120 reviews for:
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
Ayelet Waldman
3.5 AVERAGE
i really wanted to hate this book, it is really excellent. and everyone i have given it to loved it too...so i think only people who have not read the book, rather just her NYtimes piece, have rated the book here.
Definitely controversial and some parts difficult to read but very funny and truthful. Loved the Berkeley parent references.
There are chapters in this book that are compelling enough to make me regret I don't like it much overall. I'd have preferred more time and focus on the decision to abort a fetus that was likely to be born profoundly disabled; mental health treatment in combination with pregnancy and motherhood, and the impact modern conceptions therein have changed the narratives of family dynamics; and overall what it promises, the roots and effects of mommy wars in culture and on individuals, why many women leap to judge and punish rather than instinctively offering help. Even the sexual history, slut-shaming, the presentation of a mother's sexuality as it influenced her choices and how hers may influence her children, that has promise. But the self-indulgence of the more prosaic chapters of privileged parenthood, episodes that should have been settled into mundane contexts through talking directly with family members instead of being whipped into emotional epics, leaves me feeling there's not much depth to be plumbed here.
I started reading this book as part of my desire to read about motherhood. ugh, bad choice. It's not that Waldman is saying anything wrong--she's just so unbelievably irritating and smug while saying it that it ruins her point. She's like your crazy, annoying aunt who pushes you in a corner every Christmas and tells you waaaayyy too much information about her personal life. I think the only reason Ayelet was able to publish this book had to do with the controversy over her New York Times article where she said she loved her husband more than her children. Again, i didn't have any issue with her point, it's just that you have to wade through so much whining and unnecessary detail to get to it. She could have summed up this entire book with one well-constructed paragraph.
Waldman is married to Michael Chabon, one of my favorite writers, and I'm hoping she hasn't ruined him for me!
Waldman is married to Michael Chabon, one of my favorite writers, and I'm hoping she hasn't ruined him for me!
If I wasn't already terrified to be a mother, ... oh wait, I was. This book really helps articulate all the extra baggage that comes along with being a mother. And if it wasn't bad enough, no matter how bad of a mom you think you are, other women seem to not have a problem pointing out to you how badly of a job they think you are doing. Awesome. Oh, and Ayelet, I'm so happy you married the your physical, intellectual, emotional, and literary soulmate, but if I have to hear about how perfect your marriage is one more time, I might throw something at you. Thanks. But besides that, the chapter where she opened up about the real heart of the essay collection, the real tension of the piece, which I will refrain from mentioning so not to spoil it for others, it touched me and challenged me to the core. I grappled with questions of grace and eternity and motherhood and identity, and I found a well of compassion I didn't know I could feel for this woman, and I wouldn't have felt for her if I hadn't gotten to know her and like her through her writing. Like the best writers, she held up a mirror to me, and I had to ask myself some difficult questions that I'm still not sure I know how to answer. It was definitely worth reading. It had me laughing out loud and at times almost in tears. If you'll allow me the cliche, #allthefeels.
Wife of author Michael Chabon, so I had to read it. It flipped back and forth between what sounded like a researched book report (boring) and her personal story (interesting).
I liked parts of this book quite a bit and agree with a lot of the author's arguments, yet after finishing it, I just wasn't satified. Despite her assertion to the contrary, I think the author is really quite judgemental of mothers whose parenting styles differ from her own. So, the tone in the book sometimes comes off as quite smug and pretentious despite the fact that she is attempting to be more genuine.
Well, Waldman is nothing if not honest. I do appreciate her shameless honesty and actually agreed with a lot of her sentiments about the inherent judgy-ness in modern motherhood. But, there was just as much in this book that felt...off. Maybe deep down I was judging her (see, there I go doing it too!) for being a privileged, preachy white woman living in the bubble of Berkeley, CA. The chapter on race felt incredibly out of touch. At times I felt like I was reading the grown-up memoirs of Lena Dunham’s character on Girls. I’ll admit to a bit of hate watching/reading of both.
I related to a great deal in this book. I find Ayelet Waldman's perspective to be an interesting one and although I don't agree with everything she writes about here, there was a great deal that really resonated with me. I struggle every day to maintain balance between the roles in my life - wife, mother, daughter, worker. I found Walman's tone throughout these essays as very relatable, amusing and often spot on. I may never be a perfect mother or a perfect wife or a perfect anything, but I will continue to work hard at all of it, trying to find the balance that works best for me and my family. This book was an interesting way to visit some of the struggles that I face each day.
Ayelet Waldman is a feminist mama who writes bravely and openly about parenting, marriage, sex, abortion, politics, and the mommy wars. I was impressed from start to finish. I didn't agree with everything she said, but how refreshing to really hear someone tell it like it is. I feel like we don't get this kind of honesty nearly enough.