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120 reviews for:
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
Ayelet Waldman
3.5 AVERAGE
120 reviews for:
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
Ayelet Waldman
3.5 AVERAGE
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Waldman is so right that moms are way too judgmental of each other (I know I'm guilty). Of course we all want the best for our kids and no one ever knows the whole story of what is going on in someone else's life but the person that is living it. The chapter about Rocketship is heart wrenching. What bravery it took to share that story with the world. I think I need to buy this book and read it again in 10 years.
"Most of the women I know feel an underlying and corrosive sense of disappointment and anxiety. The women I know are, on some level, unfulfilled. And the women I know spend a lot of time trying to avoid wondering whether the sacrifice was worth it. It's that very wondering, it's the being unfulfilled, that makes us feel the worst. That's what triggers our most intense anxiety. Feeling dissatisfied, bored, and unhappy is unpleasant, yes, but what really scares us is the very fact of our dissatisfaction, boredom, and unhappiness. Because a mother who isn't satisfied with being a mother, a mother who wants to do more than spend her days with her children, a mother who can imagine more, is selfish. And just as the Good Mother is defined by her self-abnegation, the single most important, defining characteristic of the Bad Mother is her selfishness."
I think every woman, whether or not they are a mother needs to read this book. So far, a great critique of the many ways we are made to question ourselves and the messages we really should be giving our daughters," jugglers invariably drop balls, and no matter the persistent criticism of the Bad Mother police, balls do bounce. When they fall all you need to do is pick them up and throw them back up in the air." (p. 41)
LOVED!!!!! I would lend it to others, but don't want to let my copy go. Plan to reread often.
LOVED!!!!! I would lend it to others, but don't want to let my copy go. Plan to reread often.
Postmodern feminist lit about motherhood, humorous and brutally honest. There were 1 or 2 chapters that I could've done without.
While I don't agree with a lot of Ayelet's parenting choices, I totally appreciate her willingness to be so blantantly honest about it all. Her first two essays, which question why women, and mothers in particular, judge one another so harshly, were very powerful to me. When you become a parent, you realize how under the microscope you are. I think this would be a great book for discussion!
I started this book on audio and it was excellent. However, I can read faster than I can listen and I felt like my listening time would be better spent on another book.
I thought this book had some interesting insights into parenting now. I am actually grateful (having read this) that the Internet was not as important when Bill and I were rearing our children. Of course, Waldman is rearing her children in Berkeley CA, which is a far cry from Ashland in many, many ways.
I enjoy hearing about other people's lives. I think Waldman would define me as nosy not a snoop. So that aspect of the book was interesting to me. Overall I am glad I read this even though I found some other books about motherhood to be more insightful.
I am curious about how this book will go over in our book group. It could be well received or it could become part of the Mommy wars. Hard to tell.
I thought this book had some interesting insights into parenting now. I am actually grateful (having read this) that the Internet was not as important when Bill and I were rearing our children. Of course, Waldman is rearing her children in Berkeley CA, which is a far cry from Ashland in many, many ways.
I enjoy hearing about other people's lives. I think Waldman would define me as nosy not a snoop. So that aspect of the book was interesting to me. Overall I am glad I read this even though I found some other books about motherhood to be more insightful.
I am curious about how this book will go over in our book group. It could be well received or it could become part of the Mommy wars. Hard to tell.
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
Elegantly wrought, deftly expressed, lovely pieces on motherhood and life.
Good, but I felt she had about 9 chapters of material and had to write 18 chapters to get to book length.
This is a collection of chapters on different themes related to motherhood. I don't know that it deserves to be called "a chronicle" (in its subtitle) because there doesn't seem to be much structure to the order of the chapters, and it's definitely not chronological. Chapters 1 and 5 really irritated me and seemed pointless besides, but a few of the others were OK and one or two gave me some food for thought. Regarding the title, I don't think that Ayelet Waldman (the author) is a bad mother, nor a good one; I didn't like this book enough to care.
Aside: I love that on Goodreads, one star is "didn't like it" and not "bad" or some other objective statement. There are many 4- and 5-star reviews of this particular book, and that is fine, but I didn't like it so it gets one star from me.
Another reviewer wrote "The author's tendency to overanalyze and feel guilt over every minute aspect of her parenting and her much-critized confession that she loves her husband more than she loves her children were easy for me to identify with and drew me right in." (Full review here: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/113634044) I think that sums up exactly why I didn't like this book: I don't overanalyze my parenting nor do I feel guilt over it, so I didn't identify with the author at all. I conjecture that better writing could have overcome this hurdle and made me feel something other than irritation and frustration, but there is no way to be sure. I picked up the book (from the library, thankfully) because I'd heard about the kerfuffle over Waldman loving her husband more than her kids and I thought it could be an interesting read, even if I didn't agree with her. I wish I hadn't wasted my time.
Aside: I love that on Goodreads, one star is "didn't like it" and not "bad" or some other objective statement. There are many 4- and 5-star reviews of this particular book, and that is fine, but I didn't like it so it gets one star from me.
Another reviewer wrote "The author's tendency to overanalyze and feel guilt over every minute aspect of her parenting and her much-critized confession that she loves her husband more than she loves her children were easy for me to identify with and drew me right in." (Full review here: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/113634044) I think that sums up exactly why I didn't like this book: I don't overanalyze my parenting nor do I feel guilt over it, so I didn't identify with the author at all. I conjecture that better writing could have overcome this hurdle and made me feel something other than irritation and frustration, but there is no way to be sure. I picked up the book (from the library, thankfully) because I'd heard about the kerfuffle over Waldman loving her husband more than her kids and I thought it could be an interesting read, even if I didn't agree with her. I wish I hadn't wasted my time.