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eloquentmuse's reviews
999 reviews
Did not finish book. Stopped at 30%.
Well, folks, I walked into this one expecting a “holiday monster romantic fantasy.” The cover promised me Krampus with feelings, maybe a festive love story involving some creatively placed tinsel. What I got instead was… uh… let’s just say Krampus forgot the romance and brought a very different kind of sack.
This isn’t a holiday story. It’s a horror story with smut. Scratch that—calling this “smut” is generous. Smut usually has a plot. Maybe a cheeky banter scene, some light emotional connection, even a character arc. This? This is pure monster porn with just enough context to make me question my life choices.
We start with Twyla, a journalist sent to interview Krampus, who is both the CEO and the main attraction of “Krampus World.” Twyla, armed with no self-preservation instinct and even less brainpower, finds herself whisked off to another dimension with this festive fiend. That’s about where I stopped—around 30% in—because by then I still couldn’t tell you anyone’s personality, but I could give you a detailed rundown of Twyla’s questionable decision-making skills and Krampus’s… erm… talents.
I’m not rating this because I didn’t finish, but I will say this: If you came for plot or even vaguely likable characters, keep moving. If you came for 100% unfiltered, unapologetic monster erotica… well, Merry Christmas, I guess?
Graphic: Rape and Sexual assault
Moderate: Kidnapping
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
The fourth installment in Ruby Dixon’s Ice Planet Barbarians series follows Harlow, a mechanically minded human woman, and Rukh, a big blue barbarian alien who has grown up isolated from the rest of his tribe. After being abandoned on an ice planet by cruel aliens, Harlow finds herself resonating with Rukh, who lives in the wilderness with minimal communication skills and knowledge of the world due to being orphaned at a young age. Their relationship starts off dramatically—Rukh literally knocks Harlow out and drags her to his cave—but the story explains this behavior within the context of his isolation and lack of social norms.
While the premise is compelling, I found myself rating this book lower than the others in the series. My main issue was with Rukh’s childlike nature early in the story. His limited understanding and lack of communication skills gave him a vibe that felt unsettling when paired with the romantic aspects of the story. However, this does improve in the second half, where Rukh matures and their dynamic becomes more balanced.
On a positive note, I appreciated the realistic portrayal of Harlow’s struggles with the fear of her brain cancer returning, particularly during her pregnancy. This added a layer of tension and depth to her character. That said, the unresolved questions about the advanced computer from earlier in the series—like why it missed Harlow’s tumor and whether it’s reliable—left me wondering if it actually successfully removed Kira’s translator, with its tracker, in the last book.
Overall, while Barbarian Mine is a solid entry in the series, it’s my lowest-rated so far. It’s still worth reading for fans of alien romance or those following the series, but it didn’t quite “resonate” (haha) with me as much as the earlier books.
Graphic: Cancer and Violence
Moderate: Animal death, Physical abuse, Medical content, Kidnapping, Death of parent, and Abandonment
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
This cozy paranormal holiday mystery delivers a light, charming read with a touch of romance. Set in a small Maine town during winter, the story follows Halliday “Hal” Valentine, a witch who hides her psychic abilities behind the guise of severe migraines. Hal runs her family’s Christmas-themed factory while navigating her quirky life, complete with a British-accented, hummingbird familiar and a Nana reincarnated as a candy cane-thieving, flirtatious reindeer.
When a shady real estate developer planning a Christmas theme park is found dead, Hal teams up with Hobbs, a mysterious and handsome newcomer from Texas, to investigate. As they dig deeper, they uncover surprising truths about their neighbors—and themselves—while discovering the town’s relentless gossip mill. The budding chemistry between Hal and Hobbs adds a sprinkle of romance.
The book is packed with unique and whimsical details, from Hal’s magical antics to her neighbors’ eccentric charm. The ending teases a mystery involving a typewriter glimpsed in Hal’s visions, setting the stage for the next installment.
This story is a cute, cozy, light read, and the quirky characters and festive setting made for an enjoyable read. I’m rating it 3.5 stars—a fun, feel-good holiday mystery perfect for fans of magical small-town tales.
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Barbarian Lover by Ruby Dixon is the third book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series, and it focuses on Kira and Aehako. Kira is a serious and guarded character who has endured a lot, being one of the first humans (outside of the tanks) abducted and tagged with a translator device in her ear that she can’t remove. Her primary struggle is feeling unworthy—of love, happiness, and connection—while also worrying incessantly.
Aehako, on the other hand, is her opposite: carefree, patient, kind, and relentlessly charming. His pursuit of Kira is persistent, and while in real life such persistence could feel like harassment, in the context of this story, it works because Kira genuinely likes his attention. Her hesitance stems from fear and self-doubt, not lack of interest. A highlight for me was his amusing courtship gift—lighthearted moments like that really added to the story’s charm.
A major hurdle for Kira is that she’s barren, which feels significant in a culture where having children is a key goal, especially given how small their tribe is. She’s afraid that Aehako will eventually leave her for someone he can “resonate” with—someone who can give him children.
I really appreciated the character growth in this book. Kira learns to trust, embrace her worth, and live in the moment, while Aehako balances his carefree nature with genuine concern and seriousness about their relationship. Their dynamic is sweet, and I enjoyed their journey together.
That said, I had mixed feelings about the ending. While the implication that they may now be able to have children is a “happy ending” in many ways, I wish the story had left them unable to conceive. There’s something powerful about the idea of two people choosing each other despite that obstacle, and it would have been refreshing to see them remain childless but fulfilled. Instead, it felt like the story defaulted to children being necessary for a happy ending.
This is a very spicy science fiction romance, with plenty of heat and humor to keep things entertaining. Overall, this book is light, fun, and an easy read, keeping me hooked on the series. While it didn’t fully meet my hopes for Kira and Aehako’s story, it was still an enjoyable addition. I’d rate it 3.5 stars—entertaining, but I wish it had taken a more unconventional route with the resolution.
Graphic: Infertility and Violence
Moderate: Death and Injury/Injury detail
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Barbarian Alien by Ruby Dixon is the second book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series, and wow—there are 21 books in total! This installment focuses on Liz, a feisty and rebellious human, and Raahosh, a grumpy, brooding alien.
First off, I loved Liz. She’s spunky, outspoken, and stubborn—a total troublemaker who refuses to let anyone silence her, even in a situation where the humans are heavily dependent on their alien hosts for survival. Despite the unavoidable bond created by their Khui (the alien symbiont), Liz isn’t about to just roll with the alien mating customs; instead, she’s determined to shake things up.
Raahosh, on the other hand, is a lonely, scarred outsider who doesn’t quite fit into his own culture. His desperation after finding Liz as his mate leads him to make some questionable decisions—like abducting her and hiding her away—but you can’t help but sympathize with his backstory and loneliness.
What makes this book shine is how Liz and Raahosh are both fiercely independent and yet manage to come together, learning that while they don’t need each other, they definitely want each other. Their dynamic is fiery, fun, and packed with tension. Liz’s antics especially kept me entertained throughout.
Oh, and yes—it’s spicy. Very spicy.
I’m giving this one a solid 4.5 stars. It looks like the next book will follow Kira (a quiet and level-headed human) and Aehako (an endearing, free-spirited alien). I’m excited to see how their story plays out!
Moderate: Misogyny, Kidnapping, and Abandonment
Minor: Confinement, Grief, Death of parent, and Injury/Injury detail
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
If you’re into science fiction romance with a healthy dose of humor and action, this book is a wild ride. It takes every alien abduction cliché you can think of, cranks them up, and somehow makes it all ridiculously entertaining.
The story kicks off with Georgie, our FMC, being abducted by some nasty aliens who plan to sell her and a group of other women. But their plans go sideways when they’re dumped on a frozen planet for temporary storage. Georgie quickly steps up as a leader, even though she’s injured, terrified, and frankly disgusted by her situation.
Enter Vektal, the blue, muscle-bound barbarian alien with a heart of gold and the temperament of a Labrador Retriever. He’s sweet, protective, and surprisingly patient, even as he realizes Georgie might just be his fated mate. Cue the survival-meets-romance setup with plenty of spice.
There’s also a bigger twist: the planet’s atmosphere is slowly killing the women, though the humans don’t initially realize this. Turns out even the locals need a symbiotic Khui to survive—a detail tied to their forgotten history and old tech. Oh, and these barbarian aliens are seriously lacking women, so the arrival of these human women causes all kinds of intrigue and chaos.
The story has constant action, a touch of monster romance vibes, and lots of setup for future books—like Liz and Raahosh, who already seem primed for a fiery romance next. It’s funny, fast-paced, and spicy enough to keep you hooked.
Graphic: Violence, Trafficking, and Kidnapping
Moderate: Confinement, Gore, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Injury/Injury detail
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
If you’re a fan of fantasy romance with rich mythology, Ivy and Bone is a must-read. This story blends the Persephone and Hades myth with elements of witches, devils, and the underworld, creating a captivating narrative.
The FMC, Prue, is a witch grappling with the loss of her sister Mona, who sacrificed herself to seal the dangerous Book of Eyes after accidentally unleashing spirits from the underworld. In a desperate attempt to bring Mona back, Prue summons Cyrus—aka Osiris—the King of Devils. What follows is a high-stakes battle between life (personified by Gaia) and death (the Underworld), with Prue and Cyrus caught in the middle.
What makes this book shine is its complexity. The characters are wonderfully gray—flawed, nuanced, and utterly compelling. Prue and Cyrus’s dynamic mirrors the core theme of the story: life and death are two sides of the same coin, just as they are incomplete without each other. Their growing connection is intense and well-written.
The world-building stands out, weaving myths and cultural ideas together as if they’re simply facets of a larger truth. The twists will keep you hooked, and the ending delivers a cliffhanger that leaves you eager for more—not just for Prue and Cyrus but also for a hinted romance involving Mona.
Overall, Ivy and Bone is a well-written and engaging fantasy with a perfect balance of romance, mythology, and moral complexity. Here’s hoping for a sequel soon!
Moderate: Death, Violence, Grief, and Injury/Injury detail
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I loved Phantasma! The story centers on Ophelia, a necromancer from a matrilineal line of powerful women, and her sister Genevieve as they grapple with their mother’s recent death. Set in an old, atmospheric mansion in New Orleans, the sisters are struggling to keep their home out of foreclosure while managing the remnants of their mother’s spirit-helping business.
When a haunted mansion mysteriously appears in town, hosting a supernatural contest called Phantasma, Ophelia sees a glimmer of hope. The competition, run by devils and crawling with ghosts, a spectral cat, and a dashing phantom named Blackwell, offers the chance to erase her debts and reclaim her family’s legacy. The catch? Falling in love during the trials comes with a deadly curse.
The book’s characters feel so vivid and authentic. Ophelia is a standout as a strong, empathetic protagonist navigating the complexities of OCD and possible hallucinations. Her vulnerabilities make her relatable, while her intelligence and determination make her admirable. Blackwell, the swoon-worthy phantom, is captivating with his charm and hauntingly beautiful presence.
I adored the spooky-yet-enchanting tone of the story. It’s like Alice in Wonderland with a darker, ghostly twist, filled with moments that are both spine-chilling and steamy. The balance of eerie ambiance, well-rounded characters, and mental health representation made this an unforgettable read.
Highly recommend if you’re looking for something spooky, spicy, and utterly enthralling!
Graphic: Confinement, Death, Gore, Mental illness, Violence, Blood, Murder, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Stalking and Alcohol
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Morgan Shamy’s The Stricken is a wild blend of romantic fantasy and fever-dream surrealism, but I’m hesitant to fully label it as either. The story revolves around Clara, a teen living in a small town (Desolation) where relentless storms erase everyone’s memories except hers. As the sole person who can retain her memories, Clara struggles to protect her mother while grappling with loneliness, exhaustion, and the eerie voice in her head—a voice that’s been her constant companion since childhood.
While the premise is imaginative, and the worldbuilding is packed with intriguing concepts—like memory-devouring Diviners, a magical town called Khalom, and a network of Nobles with reality-shifting powers—the execution left me conflicted. The story is undeniably original, but its complexity felt overwhelming at times, and certain aspects were either poorly explained or downright confusing.
Spoiler Section
What worked:
• The creativity in The Stricken deserves credit. Shamy builds a multilayered universe with unique elements like The Dim (a limbo-like realm for the truly dead), The White Room (a torture space reminiscent of Star Trek’s holodeck), and the five types of magic, including Clara’s rare and feared death magic.
• The story explores compelling themes like self-acceptance and the duality of light and dark within us, embodied by the dynamic between Kale and NoWon.
What didn’t work:
• The stakes felt hollow: Death is a central theme, but with so many characters repeatedly “dying” and coming back to life, the tension fizzled. When no loss feels permanent, it’s hard to stay emotionally invested.
• Character inconsistencies: Clara, though understandably shaped by years of loneliness, came across as immature in ways that were frustrating rather than relatable. Similarly, her quick forgiveness of characters who tortured her in The White Room felt unearned and unrealistic.
• Plot gaps and unresolved threads: How did Kale, a voice in Clara’s head for years, fail to notice the Diviners and Nobles living right under their noses in Desolation? Why was Clara so oblivious to the obvious—like the “NoWon” name pun? The ending, too, left me scratching my head. Was it meant to be happy, bittersweet, or something else entirely?
Ultimately, The Stricken left me feeling conflicted. Its dreamlike quality was both a strength and a weakness: while it was imaginative, it often felt disjointed and hard to follow. I wanted to love the world and characters more, but the lack of cohesion and emotional depth kept me from fully connecting.
If you’re a fan of ambitious, abstract fantasy with a touch of romance and don’t mind some narrative confusion, this book might work for you. For me, it was a mixed bag, and I’m not sure I’ll be diving into a sequel.
Moderate: Death, Death of parent, and Abandonment
Minor: Confinement, Mental illness, Suicide, Terminal illness, and Violence
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Revna’s mission is a near-suicidal one: she’s ordered to kill the fae king Lysanael, who is rumored to have murdered King Darrew’s daughter. But as she and Lysanael are drawn into a feigned courtship—a ruse to satisfy Lysanael’s council that demands he find a wife to continue fae magic—sparks fly, and their enemies-to-lovers romance unfolds with a mix of teasing heat and genuine chemistry. The tension between them is a major highlight, leading up to a mild but satisfying spicy moment later in the book.
The story maintains steady pacing, with solid world-building and intriguing secondary characters, especially the Druid, who captured my interest with his mysterious depth. However, one thing I wished for was more clarity around the fae’s magical stipulations for lineage and magic—why their magic depends on these marital traditions isn’t fully explained, and it left me with some lingering questions.
Overall, The Fae King’s Assassin delivers an enjoyable romantic fantasy with solid plotting, believable character growth, and a steady flow of action and intrigue. While it didn’t quite blow me away, it was a good read that kept my interest, especially through its well-crafted character dynamics and hints of magic-laced mystery. Perfect for fans who enjoy a blend of romance, fantasy, and a touch of dark intrigue.
Moderate: Slavery and War
Minor: Child abuse, Torture, and Grief