eliya's reviews
93 reviews

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski

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challenging funny hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted reflective fast-paced

4.0

Going in I anticipated a lot of out this book. I was hoping it would dive deeper into sexual anxieties & provide resources for sexual trauma, etc., but that’s not what this is. It’s setting the bar straight for sexual conversation and understanding, which is important. Emily Nagoski provides so much sex science in a very digestible way, although I personally could have done without so many analogies, it’s a first step for many on their understanding their sexuality. Once I realized that I’m not the intended audience for this book // got past what I expected this book to be, I really appreciated it for what it is. 

Really well written, really well organized, very easy to follow. Highly recommend for those of you who just don’t know where to start- sex is scary to talk about, but not with Emily Nagoski. :)
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When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill

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adventurous inspiring mysterious tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

2.5

This was a promising read at first, I was so in to the concept and the analogy, but it got lost along the way. I wasn’t sure if dragoning / dragons were supposed to be feminine anger / female rage, or transness, or lesbianism, or just non-conformity in general? I think it may have been a combination of everything. 

I wanted to DNF a few times, listened to it on 2.0x just to get through lol. 

One thing that really threw me off, and this might be a little mean, was the voice actor. She read with a sorrowful whine that made me angry to listen to the whole time and was quite unpleasant. TBH that was also the way it was written, the main character’s POV was dull and repetitive. Alex’s attitude the whole times was “hear all these terrible things that have happened to me? :( feel so bad for me :(“ and “gotta remember this lie! do you remember it, audience?” and it make a caricature of women and girls who through this period went through similar stuff or worse. 

i believe this book would have been much more impactful if it had 
-been written from a POV of one of the women who had dragonned, 
-included more intersectionality instead of the brief like “people of color exist too! trans people AND black people dragoned” one offs here and there
-wrapped up to more modern take on how this history of misogyny has effected us today. the conclusion winds up being “we did it!! boy we suffered but now we don’t have to suffer anymore” when - um no - the work is not done people are still suffering in the same and different ways than in the 1950s. 

Its approach is very like “women sure did suffer in the 1950s” when it wasn’t just middle class housewives and their children who suffered, there were so many other people and cultures who sufferered more?? and the suffering is still happening?? 
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A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

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dark emotional funny hopeful reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Really sweet, heart warming book. 

Sobbed through the first half. Made me think of my dad. 

There’s something to be said about people from this age group who either never were able, or were never taught or demonstrated how to forgive, how to move on. What your sphere of influence is and others around you


This book is about a man who has good intentions and is sweet on the inside, a nutcracker kind of guy, who is mad for valid reasons and then he finds out life is worth living, okay, and then he’s nice to those around him because they see the soft on the inside of all that hardness. 

I don’t find his meanness charming, I don’t excuse him for the way he talks about his neighbors. I empathize with him. The book was sweet, I cried like a hole in a waterpipe, but I did not like ove and I felt bad for the people around him. 

There’s this weird phenomena of this generation or men, idk what it is, where;
1. what’s happened to you is the worst thing to happen to anyone ever and you can’t move past yourself to acknowledge the suffering that is living, and, 
2. to almost expect your community or the people who you care about to see through your nastiness and show that you’re good. There’s this brand of people who believe that if you do good actions that’ll show you’re good, and you don’t have to show basic human kindness to anyone! Pithy excuse for emotional immaturity that I’m exhausted by and made me angry to read.
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The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward

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challenging funny informative reflective fast-paced

4.5

A scathing review on heterosexuality and the straight man. 

Brought up some problems that I hadn’t thought deeply about, really interesting read. 

Chuckled a little bit about how in some studies for her published book she goes “this isn’t very scientific… but it counts”. Pop off, it counts for me but i’m already on ur side 😭

Can’t wait to talk to everyone and their mother about this book. 
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Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind by Molly McGhee

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challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Maybe my favorite book I have read this year so far. It is worth noting that the books that call to me or especially are touching to me are the ones that follow the human experience in its rawest form. The characters are neither good nor bad (debatable to some), just plagued with choice and consequence.  

Jonathan Abernathy You Are Kind is about the lies we tell ourselves to quiet the sting of guilt and regret. It is about the crushing weight of what we owe to those around us. Jonathan Abernathy is a well-meaning man in so much financial debt, he does what he is convinced is the “right” decision - the only way to get out of the debt he is submerged in. He is a rule follower, he actively doesn’t do things that might cause him any more pain and suffering than he already endures. Jonathan Abernathy is so afraid of making a bad decision, he makes none. So many of his circumstances happened upon him, so he appears to think that even if he does absolutely nothing, bad things will happen.  He is a spineless man and he is me at my worst. This character really resonated with me. 

The book ends so beautifully. This is such a heartbreaking story and I will remember it for so long. 
 



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The Magicians by Lev Grossman

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adventurous dark mysterious tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

god when i say i c r a w l e d through this book 
  • luckily, the book is fairly fast paced and easy to follow, so i didn’t find myself losing focus or having to go back at all, which i was definitely worried about 
  • at first the way that the scenes really do race by— like this book is literally “this happens- then this happens- then this happens- then this happens” was jarring, but i sort of liked the flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants feel when i was reading this lmao 
  • to Lev Grossman’s credit, i do think he made it as short as he possibly could (this is 400 pages & 17.5h audiobook) lol 

quentin is insufferable!!! dont let him around me or my girls!!! 
  • i like an unlikeable character- one of my favorite tropes- but christ alive this guy STUNK! it wasn’t like any of his devious were the folly of being a person who does good and bad thing, he just did shitty things because he’s shitty!! genuinely don’t know how he kept friends or girlfriends around and i’m excited for the tv show because i’ve heard it’s completely different 
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

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challenging dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.5

heartbreakingly raw and hard to listen to at points. stephanie foo shares some truly horrifying memories.

fascinating approaches to CPTSD
  • some approaches i’m familiar with, some i’ve only day-dreamed about haha. 
  • would love to approach conversation in a Nathan Fielder’s “the rehearsal” way lol. gave me some sold things to bring to my therapist when i have one. made me reconsider the way i interact in conversations. 

very informative, kept coming back to the body and physiological responses to trauma, as the title suggests.
  • lots of information regarding generational trauma and how it effects people of color. 
  • i was particularly intrigued by the
    rat study about generational trauma

cringy / cheesy at some points, as is the nature with healing books. some eyeroll moments where the author acknowledges very briefly but very obviously obligatorily her class privileges to be able to access this type of care. ultimately helpful for me as a reader, though, to see what type of healing is possible (?) even though it definitely feels out of reach rn. 

truly moving and hopeful.  
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Feminism is for Everybody by bell hooks

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challenging informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

I love bell hooks’ writing style. I love how she doesn’t miss a beat, or a perspective. I love her attention to detail, her straightforwardness. I never feel that she repeats herself just for the sake of word count. 

I learned a lot from this book, I definitely intend to reread this, get the physical book and highlight some things. 
A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor by Hank Green

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adventurous hopeful reflective slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

much different vibe than the first book, felt like this was a sequel just to have a sequel. the chance in pace and characters was jarring, and this lost all what was great about the first book. 
  • the voice acting was still good, but this felt like the story was rushed and a little repetitive where the characters over lapped, if we had one or even two POVs (april, non-april) we would have saved a lot of time. 
  • story itself felt phoned in and predictable, where the first was creative, new, and exciting, this one fell flat and wanting. there were some exciting bits, but ultimately the ending was predictable and cheesy. 
  • Also spoiler
    what was the point of this? I understand the analogy of AI and how quickly it’s developing, but what was the point of the “alien invasion” vs “success rate” if at the end they just wind up destroying it? What was Carl send for if not for humans to learn a lesson in teamwork? A little lame payoff.

All in all, disappointing and completely different from the first book. I was so excited 😢
An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green

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adventurous funny lighthearted mysterious fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Perfect sci fi. 

Very interesting, easy to digest. Voice acting done VERY well I found myself in a little panic towards the end that the voice actor from the first novel wouldn’t be joining us in the sequel, but I’m so glad it’s the same person 😭.

An unlikeable main character, a creative twist to
alien invation
. Not a huge fan of
lying as a plot device
, definitely takes me out of it, but all in all this is just about exactly what I like in a book. Thinking I might not like the sequel as much as the first just by starting it like 3% but we’ll see lol. 
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