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A review by libellum_aphrodite
Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids by Meghan Daum
2.0
This whole collection exuded an air of melancholy. Books often acted as surrogates for children. Where children were lacking, novels or other works of writing substituted for a life's creative project. Books standing in for children distressed even me, a person whose home doesn't feel complete until my books are unpacked and shelved. At least two of depression, loneliness, lost relationships, abandonment, abuse, and alcoholism featured in all the stories in one way or another. While all seemed contented enough with their lives, none felt all that happy - or, since I can't truly speak for others' happiness, all I can say is reading about their lives made me feel sad.
The book suffered from having all its essayists be professional writers. Yes, yes, that's in the title, but it tilted the perspective very hard to the childless college professor and left other perspectives unexplored. Overall, it could have been more relatable with a broader spread of backgrounds and career paths. I suspect a tortured writer complex exacerbated much of the melancholy mentioned above.
One point that did not make me ooze that pity (which every one of these authors would hate) is the gaping double standard between women and men for expectations of children. Men's choices about children were questioned much less than women's. Our society is chock full of unbalanced expectations for women and men around child rearing, and opting out of it is clearly no exception. I entirely agree that this needs fixing. While I'm sure the authors would reject my general despondency about their essays, at least it was gender blind.
The book suffered from having all its essayists be professional writers. Yes, yes, that's in the title, but it tilted the perspective very hard to the childless college professor and left other perspectives unexplored. Overall, it could have been more relatable with a broader spread of backgrounds and career paths. I suspect a tortured writer complex exacerbated much of the melancholy mentioned above.
One point that did not make me ooze that pity (which every one of these authors would hate) is the gaping double standard between women and men for expectations of children. Men's choices about children were questioned much less than women's. Our society is chock full of unbalanced expectations for women and men around child rearing, and opting out of it is clearly no exception. I entirely agree that this needs fixing. While I'm sure the authors would reject my general despondency about their essays, at least it was gender blind.