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A review by mariam27
A Note of Madness by Tabitha Suzuma
4.0
"Go, Rami, he silently implored him.
You can’t help me, nobody can.
You’ll never understand.
You have no idea what it is like to be inside my body,
my brain,
my mind!
Trying to describe my life and feelings to you
is like trying to describe colours to the blind,
or music to the deaf. It’s simply not possible.
We may exist side by side, we may share the same blood,
the same upbringing, but our minds exist in different worlds.
You exist in the world of the rational, the world
where every problem has a logical solution, every question has an answer.
Can’t you see that none of my problems have solutions, my questions can’t be answered?
Nothing in my irrational brain can be solved by your common sense,
none of my pain can be shared by your structured emotions!
In my world black is white, one and one never makes two and agony
and ecstasy lie irrevocably intertwined.
The only way to understand it is to share it and I would never wish this existence upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.
You may try and sympathize, help and care with all your soul,
but you will never, never understand."
Yeah, a lot of people were doing him good because they were concerned for him, but I'd be damned if I were to say they did the right thing. I felt ashamed, humiliated and violated of right seeing and reading what and how others treated him despite the intensity of their kindness.
I just... I'm just... Sigh...
I'm just... Empty.
"It was simply not possible that he should not be able to play a piece that he had been practising every day for the last six months. He was at the Royal College of Music, for Christ’s sake – it was only meant for talented people. He had to have talent, or else he wouldn’t have been accepted here. And yet that was the greatest joke of all. That somehow he had fooled them. Somehow he had duped them all into believing that he was this great musical talent when really – really he was just a nobody."
"Life was tolerable rather than sweet, but he could manage, he could manage."
And through it all, I can't help but be proud of Flynn. Man went through hell and back.
You can’t help me, nobody can.
You’ll never understand.
You have no idea what it is like to be inside my body,
my brain,
my mind!
Trying to describe my life and feelings to you
is like trying to describe colours to the blind,
or music to the deaf. It’s simply not possible.
We may exist side by side, we may share the same blood,
the same upbringing, but our minds exist in different worlds.
You exist in the world of the rational, the world
where every problem has a logical solution, every question has an answer.
Can’t you see that none of my problems have solutions, my questions can’t be answered?
Nothing in my irrational brain can be solved by your common sense,
none of my pain can be shared by your structured emotions!
In my world black is white, one and one never makes two and agony
and ecstasy lie irrevocably intertwined.
The only way to understand it is to share it and I would never wish this existence upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.
You may try and sympathize, help and care with all your soul,
but you will never, never understand."
Yeah, a lot of people were doing him good because they were concerned for him, but I'd be damned if I were to say they did the right thing. I felt ashamed, humiliated and violated of right seeing and reading what and how others treated him despite the intensity of their kindness.
I just... I'm just... Sigh...
I'm just... Empty.
"It was simply not possible that he should not be able to play a piece that he had been practising every day for the last six months. He was at the Royal College of Music, for Christ’s sake – it was only meant for talented people. He had to have talent, or else he wouldn’t have been accepted here. And yet that was the greatest joke of all. That somehow he had fooled them. Somehow he had duped them all into believing that he was this great musical talent when really – really he was just a nobody."
"Life was tolerable rather than sweet, but he could manage, he could manage."
And through it all, I can't help but be proud of Flynn. Man went through hell and back.