A review by jaxcb
Blood, Marriage, Wine, & Glitter by S. Bear Bergman

3.0

I liked this book for the most part. As another reader suggested, Bear writes about hir family and support networks and how ze treasures and maintains the relationships in hir life. It was really great to read about queer family, in all of its manifestations. There was one part that soured the book for me - when Bear wrote about how, as a young queer, ze had difficulty relating and talking to hit family of origin, and said that it was a similar to the cultural isolation that transracial adoptees face (referring to, usually, kids of color adopted by white parents). It felt appropriative to me - cultural isolate, Bear wrote, is a term used to describe people whose family of origin doesn't share their ethnic or cultural identity. And I read it and was like, no. As a white queer person, I may feel estranged or isolated from my hetero family but I will never, ever know what it's like to be of color and to be adopted by white folks. While I can't relate to my family about certain things, they are still white and we share the same cultural background - we look alike, too. I would just be cautious of linking a white person's queer experience to a POC's experience. Kinda wrecked the book for me.