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A review by isabellarobinson7
A Lot Like Christmas: Stories by Connie Willis
3.5
Rating: 3.5 stars
Connie Willis has two types of story telling: The first is a bleak, depressing, and unflinching look at a (usually historical) situation where all hell breaks loose and everything just hits the fan. The second involves characters with so much unused space between their ears that if they were ever in need of extra storage space they wouldn't even need to bother looking elsewhere. ALL of these stories fall in to the second category.
(Ok, I need to zoom through these mini reviews, because I don't want to be posting it after the Christmas/New Year season is over. So expect these to be pretty brief. And yes, I did extend that time frame because I couldn't get this done by Christmas. Don't judge my procrastination.)
Miracle:
Willis has a couple of Dickens' A Christmas Carol-inspired stories in this collection, and Miracle is one of them. It basically follows this woman who like Scrooge is visited by a spirit, but in this case the spirit is more... alternative. He causes a real Christmas tree to grow out of her kitchen floor. He changes her quote "perfect" holiday dress to one that is more "eco friendly". He switches all her copies of Miracle on 34th Street to It's A Wonderful Life (the latter of which is obviously vastly inferior). He just wreaks havoc in a season that is already ultra stressful. It is quite amusing. Overall, the story feels a little like Willis' other book Crosstalk in the office banter/character relations, and ultimately in the romantic resolution.
All About Emily:
I might be remembering this one strangely, but I don't think it was that Christmas-y. It's about a broadway actress who meets an android called Emily who claims to be her number one fan. Later, Emily comes back to the actress for advice because she has decided to become a robot Rockette. She tries various methods in order to make it into the group, including modifying her physical appearance to be more Rockette-like, but she inevitably faces a lot of roadblocks because she is not organic. But I don't know where the Christmas fits in. I think there was some snow or something...? Eh, whatever.
Inn:
This one is pretty simple: Mary and Joseph get stuck in the present. Oops. Plus unborn Jesus. Double oops. So this lady has to find out a way to get them back to Bethlehem so, you know, Christmas can happen. And that's about it. Told you it was simple.
All Seated on the Ground:
Awards and nominations: Hugo winner; Locus nominee
I have already read this story in another Connie Willis short story collection, Time is the Fire. My review for All Seated on the Ground can be found as a part of my larger review for that collection here.
In Coppelius's Toyshop:
This is so strange. Yes, this story is strange, but the fact that I read this now is more what I am referring to. If you weren't already aware (which you should be), November of this year marks 60 years since episode one of Doctor Who was first broadcast. To celebrate, they brought David Tennant and Catherine Tate back to reprise their roles as the Doctor and Donna Noble respectively in three anniversary specials, the third being titled "The Giggle". Basically, it involves this creepy Toymaker dude who traps the Doctor and Donna in this nonsensical maze thing in his toyshop. The episode does move past this, but that alone is the premise of this story. I truly don't need to say anything else.
Adaptation:
This is the other story based on A Christmas Carol. A guy gets visited by ghosts, as per usual, but in this case the subject is not the grumpy person in the story. His ex-wife is, and she is truly an absolute douche. So it's not really about the "Scrooge" changing their ways and becoming more kind. The story uses the traditional Dickens ghosts more as a backdrop to showcasing the difficulties divorced parents go through in the holiday season. How they are forced to celebrate Christmas in different (and ultimately societally divergent) ways. It is probably the most serious story in the collection, but for good reason, as it treats the subject matter with the respect it deserves.
deck.halls@boughs/holly:
So to follow up the most serious story in this collection, we have perhaps the most absurd, or at least the most overtly American. This lady runs a business where she makes themed Christmas parties. And they are rarely actually Christmas themed Christmas parties. They are Lord of the Rings-themed, ghetto-themed, Rocky-themed, Indiana Jones-themed, modern art-themed, Downtown Abbey-themed, tropical-themed, ancient Roman specifically-during-the-rule-of-Emperor-Vitellius-themed... and while I am running out of ideas, this girl never seems to. So the story is just about her running this over the top, quintessentially American company during the Christmas season. While it sounds rather stupid on paper, what makes the story work is how much Willis absolutely leans in to the incredible tackiness of this concept. It's silly, it's goofy, and it knows it.
Cat's Paw:
This one is a strange one. It's a classic murder mystery (think Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie vibes) but the prime suspects are talking monkeys. Yes, as in "hoo hoo hah ooh ha" monkeys. This dude is the Holmes/Poirot of this world and he ands up in this rich person's house where they train monkeys to talk and just overall increase their intelligence. A guy dies at this manor, and an investigation takes place where everyone blames the smart monkeys, and the detective dude has to figure out whodunnit and basically exonerate the monkeys. It also happens to be Christmas time, so it operates on the same principle that makes Die Hard inarguably a Christmas movie.
Now Showing:
This one takes place at a near-future movie cinema where the entire movie industry's main objective is to stop you seeing the movie at all costs. Why? Because the movie itself doesn't actually exist and all they have really made is the trailer. Again, why? Because it is cheaper to make a trailer than a whole movie, and the latter of which has the potential to loose the studio a ton of money. (Plus, we all know you're probably just going to wait for it to show up on streaming or something.) So to make money with these non-existent movies, they just make spin offs and sequel galore, and bank on you having seen the previous movie, rather than making this one any good (sound familiar). Then they "show" the movie at the cinema, but all they really want you to do it buy the over priced food, so they try and trap you inside for as long as possible, kind of like an Ikea. But this girl's (slightly crazy) ex has figured it out and will expose everyone!... if he can actually make it out of the theatre to begin with. And that is the story. Just a whole bunch of movie references and conspiracy accusations. Truly, a masterpiece of chaotic literature.
Newsletter:
This one is kind of weird. There is an alien invasion, and the aliens are occupying human's bodies. And the aliens are hiding under people's hats. The aliens are also not doing the typical parasite thing: they might actually be helping the hosts make better life choices.
Epiphany:
This one is technically not a Christmas story, as it takes place in January, but it involves Jesus so I guess it kind of counts. Epiphany is about this church pastor who has an (you guessed it) epiphany about the Second Coming. It is, well, coming. Basically, the Book of Revelation is happening in real time. So this pastor goes to find Jesus with his atheist friend, and hijinks ensue. For a story with that kind of premise, you would expect that at least one character would be portrayed in an insulting light; someone's gotta come away offended when you mix these kind of elements in a pot. Surprisingly though, I actually found Willis to be quite respectful of all the angles present in the story.
Just Like the Ones We Used to Know:
This one is about a Christmas one year where it snows over the entire United States. So basically the whole world. It's kind of like a possible future, where humanity lets climate change go crazy and it causes a huge snow storm everywhere. This story was ultimately completely unrelatable to me, as in the southern hemisphere, the closest we have come to a white Christmas was probably this Christmas, where we had rain - and very humid rain at that.
Then Willis ends the collection (and how I am ending this review) by recommending Christmas movies and songs and books etc. Yes, I read them all, but I'm not really a Christmas media kind of person, so I wasn't really paying much attention. But then, the second to last thing Connie Willis recommended was all the Doctor Who Christmas specials! I had to make a note of this:
Connie Willis has two types of story telling: The first is a bleak, depressing, and unflinching look at a (usually historical) situation where all hell breaks loose and everything just hits the fan. The second involves characters with so much unused space between their ears that if they were ever in need of extra storage space they wouldn't even need to bother looking elsewhere. ALL of these stories fall in to the second category.
(Ok, I need to zoom through these mini reviews, because I don't want to be posting it after the Christmas/New Year season is over. So expect these to be pretty brief. And yes, I did extend that time frame because I couldn't get this done by Christmas. Don't judge my procrastination.)
Miracle:
Willis has a couple of Dickens' A Christmas Carol-inspired stories in this collection, and Miracle is one of them. It basically follows this woman who like Scrooge is visited by a spirit, but in this case the spirit is more... alternative. He causes a real Christmas tree to grow out of her kitchen floor. He changes her quote "perfect" holiday dress to one that is more "eco friendly". He switches all her copies of Miracle on 34th Street to It's A Wonderful Life (the latter of which is obviously vastly inferior). He just wreaks havoc in a season that is already ultra stressful. It is quite amusing. Overall, the story feels a little like Willis' other book Crosstalk in the office banter/character relations, and ultimately in the romantic resolution.
All About Emily:
I might be remembering this one strangely, but I don't think it was that Christmas-y. It's about a broadway actress who meets an android called Emily who claims to be her number one fan. Later, Emily comes back to the actress for advice because she has decided to become a robot Rockette. She tries various methods in order to make it into the group, including modifying her physical appearance to be more Rockette-like, but she inevitably faces a lot of roadblocks because she is not organic. But I don't know where the Christmas fits in. I think there was some snow or something...? Eh, whatever.
Inn:
This one is pretty simple: Mary and Joseph get stuck in the present. Oops. Plus unborn Jesus. Double oops. So this lady has to find out a way to get them back to Bethlehem so, you know, Christmas can happen. And that's about it. Told you it was simple.
All Seated on the Ground:
Awards and nominations: Hugo winner; Locus nominee
I have already read this story in another Connie Willis short story collection, Time is the Fire. My review for All Seated on the Ground can be found as a part of my larger review for that collection here.
In Coppelius's Toyshop:
This is so strange. Yes, this story is strange, but the fact that I read this now is more what I am referring to. If you weren't already aware (which you should be), November of this year marks 60 years since episode one of Doctor Who was first broadcast. To celebrate, they brought David Tennant and Catherine Tate back to reprise their roles as the Doctor and Donna Noble respectively in three anniversary specials, the third being titled "The Giggle". Basically, it involves this creepy Toymaker dude who traps the Doctor and Donna in this nonsensical maze thing in his toyshop. The episode does move past this, but that alone is the premise of this story. I truly don't need to say anything else.
Adaptation:
This is the other story based on A Christmas Carol. A guy gets visited by ghosts, as per usual, but in this case the subject is not the grumpy person in the story. His ex-wife is, and she is truly an absolute douche. So it's not really about the "Scrooge" changing their ways and becoming more kind. The story uses the traditional Dickens ghosts more as a backdrop to showcasing the difficulties divorced parents go through in the holiday season. How they are forced to celebrate Christmas in different (and ultimately societally divergent) ways. It is probably the most serious story in the collection, but for good reason, as it treats the subject matter with the respect it deserves.
deck.halls@boughs/holly:
So to follow up the most serious story in this collection, we have perhaps the most absurd, or at least the most overtly American. This lady runs a business where she makes themed Christmas parties. And they are rarely actually Christmas themed Christmas parties. They are Lord of the Rings-themed, ghetto-themed, Rocky-themed, Indiana Jones-themed, modern art-themed, Downtown Abbey-themed, tropical-themed, ancient Roman specifically-during-the-rule-of-Emperor-Vitellius-themed... and while I am running out of ideas, this girl never seems to. So the story is just about her running this over the top, quintessentially American company during the Christmas season. While it sounds rather stupid on paper, what makes the story work is how much Willis absolutely leans in to the incredible tackiness of this concept. It's silly, it's goofy, and it knows it.
Cat's Paw:
This one is a strange one. It's a classic murder mystery (think Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie vibes) but the prime suspects are talking monkeys. Yes, as in "hoo hoo hah ooh ha" monkeys. This dude is the Holmes/Poirot of this world and he ands up in this rich person's house where they train monkeys to talk and just overall increase their intelligence. A guy dies at this manor, and an investigation takes place where everyone blames the smart monkeys, and the detective dude has to figure out whodunnit and basically exonerate the monkeys. It also happens to be Christmas time, so it operates on the same principle that makes Die Hard inarguably a Christmas movie.
Now Showing:
This one takes place at a near-future movie cinema where the entire movie industry's main objective is to stop you seeing the movie at all costs. Why? Because the movie itself doesn't actually exist and all they have really made is the trailer. Again, why? Because it is cheaper to make a trailer than a whole movie, and the latter of which has the potential to loose the studio a ton of money. (Plus, we all know you're probably just going to wait for it to show up on streaming or something.) So to make money with these non-existent movies, they just make spin offs and sequel galore, and bank on you having seen the previous movie, rather than making this one any good (sound familiar). Then they "show" the movie at the cinema, but all they really want you to do it buy the over priced food, so they try and trap you inside for as long as possible, kind of like an Ikea. But this girl's (slightly crazy) ex has figured it out and will expose everyone!... if he can actually make it out of the theatre to begin with. And that is the story. Just a whole bunch of movie references and conspiracy accusations. Truly, a masterpiece of chaotic literature.
Newsletter:
This one is kind of weird. There is an alien invasion, and the aliens are occupying human's bodies. And the aliens are hiding under people's hats. The aliens are also not doing the typical parasite thing: they might actually be helping the hosts make better life choices.
Epiphany:
This one is technically not a Christmas story, as it takes place in January, but it involves Jesus so I guess it kind of counts. Epiphany is about this church pastor who has an (you guessed it) epiphany about the Second Coming. It is, well, coming. Basically, the Book of Revelation is happening in real time. So this pastor goes to find Jesus with his atheist friend, and hijinks ensue. For a story with that kind of premise, you would expect that at least one character would be portrayed in an insulting light; someone's gotta come away offended when you mix these kind of elements in a pot. Surprisingly though, I actually found Willis to be quite respectful of all the angles present in the story.
Just Like the Ones We Used to Know:
This one is about a Christmas one year where it snows over the entire United States. So basically the whole world. It's kind of like a possible future, where humanity lets climate change go crazy and it causes a huge snow storm everywhere. This story was ultimately completely unrelatable to me, as in the southern hemisphere, the closest we have come to a white Christmas was probably this Christmas, where we had rain - and very humid rain at that.
Then Willis ends the collection (and how I am ending this review) by recommending Christmas movies and songs and books etc. Yes, I read them all, but I'm not really a Christmas media kind of person, so I wasn't really paying much attention. But then, the second to last thing Connie Willis recommended was all the Doctor Who Christmas specials! I had to make a note of this:
"Doctor Who, the Christmas specials - All the Doctor Who Christmas specials, "The Husbands of River Song", "Last Christmas", "The Time of the Doctor", "The Snowmen", "The End of Time", "The Day of the Doctor", are terrific. My favourite is probably "Tooth and Claw"*, having as it does Queen Victoria, a werewolf, Scotland, the birth of Torchwood, and the Koh-i-Noor diamond. But don't make me choose; you should watch them all."
What a great note to end both the story collection and this review on.
*Ok. Fine. I have to mention it. My stupid Whovian brain won't shut up without mentioning that "Tooth and Claw" is not actually a Christmas special, and to my knowledge doesn't include any reference to the holiday at all. It is a great episode, nonetheless... bar the shoddy early 21st century CGI.