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A review by helpfulsnowman
Essential Amazing Spider-Man, Vol. 7 by Gil Kane, Gerry Conway, Len Wein, Ross Andru, Sal Buscema, Archie Goodwin
4.0
Lemme 'splain what made old comics great and bonkers.
Avengers: Age of Ultron, 2010's:
A bunch of superpeople try and stop a superrobot who decides that humans shouldn't exist because they're inefficient. Or something. He has infinite reasoning ability, but no ability to reason that existence is basically purposeless anyway, so striving for maximum efficiency in a task with no end goal is dumb.
Spider Man circa 1970's:
Peter Parker's Aunt May inherits a nuclear power plant. Doctor Octopus gets romantically involved with her, partially because he's interested in getting his (8) grubby hands on said power plant. Also, he goes to jail for a while and gets pretty ripped, but people still call him tubby. As Ock is trying to seize control of the plant, Hammerhead gets involved. Hammerhead tries to hammer his head into Ock, misses, and gets his head stuck in a power plant wall. Of course, this causes an atomic explosion, which destroys the plants and turns Hammerhead INTO A FUCKING GHOST! HammerheadGhost haunts Ock until Ock decides to make some kind of gizmo to destroy the ghost, but then it turns out that the gizmo actually REVIVES Hammerhead and makes him stronger than ever. This results in a team-up between Ock and Spider-Man, who try to defeat Hammerhead and also rescue Aunt May, who somehow got caught up in all this.
Oh, and also, The Spider-Mobile returns, and a dune buggy that shoots webs nearly kills Spider-Man.
That, my friends, is why the 70's were awesome.
Avengers: Age of Ultron, 2010's:
A bunch of superpeople try and stop a superrobot who decides that humans shouldn't exist because they're inefficient. Or something. He has infinite reasoning ability, but no ability to reason that existence is basically purposeless anyway, so striving for maximum efficiency in a task with no end goal is dumb.
Spider Man circa 1970's:
Peter Parker's Aunt May inherits a nuclear power plant. Doctor Octopus gets romantically involved with her, partially because he's interested in getting his (8) grubby hands on said power plant. Also, he goes to jail for a while and gets pretty ripped, but people still call him tubby. As Ock is trying to seize control of the plant, Hammerhead gets involved. Hammerhead tries to hammer his head into Ock, misses, and gets his head stuck in a power plant wall. Of course, this causes an atomic explosion, which destroys the plants and turns Hammerhead INTO A FUCKING GHOST! HammerheadGhost haunts Ock until Ock decides to make some kind of gizmo to destroy the ghost, but then it turns out that the gizmo actually REVIVES Hammerhead and makes him stronger than ever. This results in a team-up between Ock and Spider-Man, who try to defeat Hammerhead and also rescue Aunt May, who somehow got caught up in all this.
Oh, and also, The Spider-Mobile returns, and a dune buggy that shoots webs nearly kills Spider-Man.
That, my friends, is why the 70's were awesome.