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A review by helpfulsnowman
Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter by Kano, Kieron Gillen, Dan Brereton
3.0
Great ideas, but the text and the art made it a little tough to know exactly what's going on.
Guys, what's the deal with Galactus? Not to get all Seinfeld (although he was a DC comics man, from my reckoning), but I don't get it.
He eats up planets. And they have to have people on them. And he's some sort of galactic, god-like force, so we can't just kill him because then that would cause some kind of cosmic imbalance, WE'RE TOLD.
So what's the solution? Luckily, Science Peta Ray Pete (no association with PETA) is here to save the day!
1. Get an entire galaxy to start making tequila. Then get Galactus to eat a planet filled with the liquor. THEN, when he goes to eat the next planet, he'll get sick, and then he won't be able to eat another planet. Just the thought of it will turn his stomach!
2. It's a little distasteful, but just go with me here. I resisted talking poop until the second point on here, which is a big victory for me. Galactus eats planet A. Then he moves on to planet B. Now, before he consumes planet B, is it possible that he could...pass the remnants of Planet A, which may still be habitable, and the residents of Plant B Move onto the pooped out remains of Planet A? Yes, I do see the distasteful nature of living on a poop planet. But we're in a species extinction event here, people. Let's not get choosy in the 4th quarter. And it's a glactic god poop, so it's not like living on dog mess or something.
3. Two words: Prison Planet. I mean, if he's got to eat a planet, why not? Plus, it sets up a great action movie premise. Think Escape From New York except it's an entire planet, and the clock's ticking because Galactus is coming. Can Nick Fury get...I don't know, Ant Man out in time!?
4. Ultimate Nullifier Nullifier. Someone invents a device that nullifies the ultimate nullifier and nothing else. That way, they can offer up to nullify the Ultimate Nullifier, which is the only weapon that seems able to stop Galactus. In exchange, he can go to some other planet.
5. Convince Galactus to slowly cannibalize himself. I don't even know if that's possible. But hell, it's worth a try.
6. Can he not just take a bite out of one planet, another bite out of another? Has this asshole never heard of tapas?
Guys, what's the deal with Galactus? Not to get all Seinfeld (although he was a DC comics man, from my reckoning), but I don't get it.
He eats up planets. And they have to have people on them. And he's some sort of galactic, god-like force, so we can't just kill him because then that would cause some kind of cosmic imbalance, WE'RE TOLD.
So what's the solution? Luckily, Science Peta Ray Pete (no association with PETA) is here to save the day!
1. Get an entire galaxy to start making tequila. Then get Galactus to eat a planet filled with the liquor. THEN, when he goes to eat the next planet, he'll get sick, and then he won't be able to eat another planet. Just the thought of it will turn his stomach!
2. It's a little distasteful, but just go with me here. I resisted talking poop until the second point on here, which is a big victory for me. Galactus eats planet A. Then he moves on to planet B. Now, before he consumes planet B, is it possible that he could...pass the remnants of Planet A, which may still be habitable, and the residents of Plant B Move onto the pooped out remains of Planet A? Yes, I do see the distasteful nature of living on a poop planet. But we're in a species extinction event here, people. Let's not get choosy in the 4th quarter. And it's a glactic god poop, so it's not like living on dog mess or something.
3. Two words: Prison Planet. I mean, if he's got to eat a planet, why not? Plus, it sets up a great action movie premise. Think Escape From New York except it's an entire planet, and the clock's ticking because Galactus is coming. Can Nick Fury get...I don't know, Ant Man out in time!?
4. Ultimate Nullifier Nullifier. Someone invents a device that nullifies the ultimate nullifier and nothing else. That way, they can offer up to nullify the Ultimate Nullifier, which is the only weapon that seems able to stop Galactus. In exchange, he can go to some other planet.
5. Convince Galactus to slowly cannibalize himself. I don't even know if that's possible. But hell, it's worth a try.
6. Can he not just take a bite out of one planet, another bite out of another? Has this asshole never heard of tapas?