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A review by theaurochs
I Was a Teenage Weredeer by Michael Suttkus, C.T. Phipps
1.0
Truly execrable. A hackneyed collection of tropes, snark, attempted witticisms and outdated popculture references, suffused with a hint of repressed sexuality and uncomfortable sexualisation, there is very little to excuse this miserable piece of work. I got this book for free, and feel deeply ripped off, wishing I hadn’t spent the few hours of my life that I did reading this rubbish; really it’s a lesson to me to give up on books when I’m disliking them this much. At least it fits the r/fantasy bingo square for shapeshifters. And in possibly the only true bit of inspiration in the book, it casts Kristen Bell as a were-sloth. Pretty sure that’s all the good points.
Let’s start at the very beginning with the first few sentences: “I was a teenage weredeer. Specifically, I ceased to be a teenager as of eight o’clock that morning. I was an adult, eighteen years of age.” So you’re still eighteen? So you’re still a teenager you fuckwit. Now we’re very early on here, maybe we should give this book the benefit of the doubt that it is meant to be written from the perspective of an insufferable idiotic teenager, but unfortunately as we progress we very quickly discover that every character is just as brain-dead. They are all equally interchangeable in terms of personality, being little more than props upon which we hang our terrible puns, snarky comments and dated references; absolutely no concern is given to whether any of these make sense for the characters in context. The bare bones of the plot are tedious and predictable, but the finer details make it baffling in places and incomprehensible in others; borne of our truly idiotic cast making truly idiotic decisions. The writing style is truly dreadful, attempting to channel teen procedurals like Buffy or Veronica Mars while utterly failing to understand what makes these shows interesting- the solid and well-defined characters that drive the plot forward. The snarky banter only works in the context of these characters going through the difficult times and reacting to them in immature, defensive ways. In VM great pains are taken to show how everyone reacts to Veronica’s attitude, and its not well. The key is that these are not comedians joking about everything that’s going on, but helplessly lost kids doing their best to cope in a weird world. Attempting to isolate just the humour and taking none of the pathos leaves the whole thing completely void and soulless.
A seriously poor book, on pretty much every level. Save yourself the time and effort.
Let’s start at the very beginning with the first few sentences: “I was a teenage weredeer. Specifically, I ceased to be a teenager as of eight o’clock that morning. I was an adult, eighteen years of age.” So you’re still eighteen? So you’re still a teenager you fuckwit. Now we’re very early on here, maybe we should give this book the benefit of the doubt that it is meant to be written from the perspective of an insufferable idiotic teenager, but unfortunately as we progress we very quickly discover that every character is just as brain-dead. They are all equally interchangeable in terms of personality, being little more than props upon which we hang our terrible puns, snarky comments and dated references; absolutely no concern is given to whether any of these make sense for the characters in context. The bare bones of the plot are tedious and predictable, but the finer details make it baffling in places and incomprehensible in others; borne of our truly idiotic cast making truly idiotic decisions. The writing style is truly dreadful, attempting to channel teen procedurals like Buffy or Veronica Mars while utterly failing to understand what makes these shows interesting- the solid and well-defined characters that drive the plot forward. The snarky banter only works in the context of these characters going through the difficult times and reacting to them in immature, defensive ways. In VM great pains are taken to show how everyone reacts to Veronica’s attitude, and its not well. The key is that these are not comedians joking about everything that’s going on, but helplessly lost kids doing their best to cope in a weird world. Attempting to isolate just the humour and taking none of the pathos leaves the whole thing completely void and soulless.
A seriously poor book, on pretty much every level. Save yourself the time and effort.