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notbambi 's review for:
The Regrets
by Amy Bonnaffons
challenging
emotional
hopeful
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Everything the 1-star reviews are saying is true - this is a book about unhealthy relationships that basically consist only of sex, and it's kind of brutal. If you don't want to look at a woman struggling with an all-consuming relationship where her own autonomy and needs are shoved aside, this will not be the book for you. I have been that person, struggling to get out and to move on in healthy ways, so it was very much the book for me.
Thomas dies in a car crash, and for logistical reasons, he can't "move on" for a few months, so he's returned to his old neighbourhood in a temp body to wait it out. We learn about his history and if we have any media literacy, we immediately figure out that he is kind of a creep, what with obsessing over and trying to sleep with his lesbian bestie. He eventually meets Rachel, with whom he starts a sexual relationship, despite warnings that this will lead to "regrets". What follows is unhappiness, jealousy, and inability from both to move forward.
As I said before, the 1-star reviews complaining about the toxic nature of the central relationship are correct that it is toxic, but seem to be missing that the framing is not positive. Thomas is hurting Rachel, and whether he initially intended to, he eventually hits a point where he wants to hurt her - he makes her his whole world, and when she wants a life outside of him, he lashes out. This is not a romance novel. Thomas and Rachel are not a love story for the ages. For me, Thomas's ghostly omnipresence and stalkery behaviour raise a lot questions about consent and violation. There's also absolutely a lot of ghost sex, but I wouldn't call this particularly erotic. The sex is always a way for two lonely people to try to connect, and it almost never succeeds in creating a healthy connection (see above).
Thomas dies in a car crash, and for logistical reasons, he can't "move on" for a few months, so he's returned to his old neighbourhood in a temp body to wait it out. We learn about his history and if we have any media literacy, we immediately figure out that he is kind of a creep, what with obsessing over and trying to sleep with his lesbian bestie. He eventually meets Rachel, with whom he starts a sexual relationship, despite warnings that this will lead to "regrets". What follows is unhappiness, jealousy, and inability from both to move forward.
As I said before, the 1-star reviews complaining about the toxic nature of the central relationship are correct that it is toxic, but seem to be missing that the framing is not positive. Thomas is hurting Rachel, and whether he initially intended to, he eventually hits a point where he wants to hurt her - he makes her his whole world, and when she wants a life outside of him, he lashes out. This is not a romance novel. Thomas and Rachel are not a love story for the ages. For me, Thomas's ghostly omnipresence and stalkery behaviour raise a lot questions about consent and violation. There's also absolutely a lot of ghost sex, but I wouldn't call this particularly erotic. The sex is always a way for two lonely people to try to connect, and it almost never succeeds in creating a healthy connection (see above).