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A review by twirlsandwhirls
The Game Changer: A Memoir of Disruptive Love by Franklin Veaux
3.0
I read The Game Changer for book club. It was a pretty quick read, not too deep and not too many pages. The book was not what I expected at all. I thought it'd be about one relationship that changed it all for Franklin Veaux. I imagined that Franklin had been in poly relationships for a long time and that this one, whatever it was, happened to be different enough to shift the way he shapes relationships forever.
I was partly right. There was a relationship that changed them all for him, but there were also many others that shaped him, too. Those relationships are also what the book is about. In fact, that's one of the weaknesses in his storytelling, I find. He busies himself with telling a dozen stories of love and relationships chronologically rather than focusing on one main story. The narrative is weak as well. Each chapter feels like he's saying "... and then this new thing happened! Can you believe it?" He is always surprised that a relationship of his is evolving or ending, or that a new secondary relationship could potentially fundamentally change his primary one.
After about Chapter 7, things picked up. I wasn't reading about his relationships from his early twenties anymore or how he dawdled his way out of college life. Reading about his adult years was much more interesting. The narrative style still hadn't changed, though. Everything that happened in his relationships was still a surprise to him. He couldn't see that the way he chose to frame his polyamorous relationships in a hierarchy was hurting his partners, himself, his primary, his friends, and his community. I like this chapter because it's the start of Franklin questioning his beliefs about relationships. I learned about the Secondary's Bill of Rights through this book. That is definitely an upside.
I wouldn't recommend this book unless someone wanted to read a personal story about how hierarchies failed him. It's not that this is a bad book, it's just that it isn't an exceptional book. It felt, as quick a read as it was, like I was trudging through repetitive storytelling. I prefer my books about polyamory to have more information about how to communicate in a way that avoids the situations in The Game Changer. I'm interested, for that very reason, in reading his other book: More Than Two.
I was partly right. There was a relationship that changed them all for him, but there were also many others that shaped him, too. Those relationships are also what the book is about. In fact, that's one of the weaknesses in his storytelling, I find. He busies himself with telling a dozen stories of love and relationships chronologically rather than focusing on one main story. The narrative is weak as well. Each chapter feels like he's saying "... and then this new thing happened! Can you believe it?" He is always surprised that a relationship of his is evolving or ending, or that a new secondary relationship could potentially fundamentally change his primary one.
After about Chapter 7, things picked up. I wasn't reading about his relationships from his early twenties anymore or how he dawdled his way out of college life. Reading about his adult years was much more interesting. The narrative style still hadn't changed, though. Everything that happened in his relationships was still a surprise to him. He couldn't see that the way he chose to frame his polyamorous relationships in a hierarchy was hurting his partners, himself, his primary, his friends, and his community. I like this chapter because it's the start of Franklin questioning his beliefs about relationships. I learned about the Secondary's Bill of Rights through this book. That is definitely an upside.
I wouldn't recommend this book unless someone wanted to read a personal story about how hierarchies failed him. It's not that this is a bad book, it's just that it isn't an exceptional book. It felt, as quick a read as it was, like I was trudging through repetitive storytelling. I prefer my books about polyamory to have more information about how to communicate in a way that avoids the situations in The Game Changer. I'm interested, for that very reason, in reading his other book: More Than Two.