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A review by lunaseassecondaccount
Zombie Blondes by Brian James
2.0
When I first picked up this book, I thought it was going to be a comedy. A zombie comedy, in fact. How could anything titled 'Zombie Blondes' be anything but? So when I finally got around to reading it, I was expecting a dose of hearty laughs.
The problem is, this book is so annoyingly unfunny that the very concept- a group of cheerleading zombies- is just absurd. The book doesn't even attempt to be a comedy. It tries to give a plausible premise for how the lead character, Hannah, wound up in the zombie-infested town of Maplecrest, but even that is ridiculous. Okay, so James explains that her father dobbed in some bad cops, but somehow that means he's dirt poor and is constantly run out of every town but other bad cops and debt collectors. This makes Hannah angry and sulky. Fair enough. But I find them having to move every few months a bit hard to swallow.
And then the cheerleading zombies come in. And what do you know, the whole town is crawling with zombies. Somehow, though, a few live humans are still there- Diana, Lukas. What I'm curious to know is, why didn't they kill Lukas straight away? He obviously knew what was up, he was obviously trying to stop them, and the sheriff obviously wanted to stop him. So why didn't they just filter his blood, put his name on a jar, and call it a day?
I would have liked more backstory on how the zombies came to be, and how Maggie became HeadCheerleader Zombie. But given the ambiguous, Hannah's-dad-is-now-a-zombie ending, James is obviously hoping/writing a sequel.
Overall, disappointing. The book would have worked much better as a comedy, as the entire premise falls flat otherwise. Furthermore, the writing is just too bland to carry the story. He's not a bad writer, bit by any means, but I found him so mediocre and average that I grew bored. This may be a better book for twelve- or thirteen-year-old girls but no one else.
The problem is, this book is so annoyingly unfunny that the very concept- a group of cheerleading zombies- is just absurd. The book doesn't even attempt to be a comedy. It tries to give a plausible premise for how the lead character, Hannah, wound up in the zombie-infested town of Maplecrest, but even that is ridiculous. Okay, so James explains that her father dobbed in some bad cops, but somehow that means he's dirt poor and is constantly run out of every town but other bad cops and debt collectors. This makes Hannah angry and sulky. Fair enough. But I find them having to move every few months a bit hard to swallow.
And then the cheerleading zombies come in. And what do you know, the whole town is crawling with zombies. Somehow, though, a few live humans are still there- Diana, Lukas. What I'm curious to know is, why didn't they kill Lukas straight away? He obviously knew what was up, he was obviously trying to stop them, and the sheriff obviously wanted to stop him. So why didn't they just filter his blood, put his name on a jar, and call it a day?
I would have liked more backstory on how the zombies came to be, and how Maggie became Head
Overall, disappointing. The book would have worked much better as a comedy, as the entire premise falls flat otherwise. Furthermore, the writing is just too bland to carry the story. He's not a bad writer, bit by any means, but I found him so mediocre and average that I grew bored. This may be a better book for twelve- or thirteen-year-old girls but no one else.