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A review by tinyjude
Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
An incredible, emotionally-driven and soul-sinking literary piece that became a classic of Taiwanese queer literature. The book, partly a journal and a series of letters addressed to the first love of the protagonist, explores the intricacies of gender, compulsory heterosexuality, homophobia and lesbian identity in a time when queerness was persecuted and punished.
It is a tale of flawed queer characters who are trying to love honestly, but are also deeply terrified of their feelings and society's punishment towards them. Apart from deeply moving reflections about love, friendship, queerness, college, work, addiction, life and death; the story uses the metaphor of crocodiles disguised as humans to protray queerness and the institutional persecution, fetishizing fascination of "researchers", and the self-loathing with which they had to live.
The story mainly focuses on Lazi, as she traverses her college years, and experiences love, obsession and excruciating pain. She is the utmost perpetrator of her pain and failed/toxic relationships, due to her fear and self-hatred (although I think that a lie, because ultimately it is society's fault, but tracing back the root of the problem is not my call to make). However, all of her emotions, thoughts and her complicated relationship with mental illness (like the other lgbt+ characters) were relatable and heartbreaking.
The story is full of important reflections, but most of all, I believe it is a piece of literature that as a lgbt+ individual you cannot simply ignore no matter your identity, ethnicity and nationality. Queer classics are spare, full of pain, but also full of history, love and wisdom to remind us always that there were others like us everywhere and that our fight is never-ending until all of us can (not survive, but) LIVE fully and happily.
My heart goes with the author and all our other siblings who existed, exist and will exist.
It is a tale of flawed queer characters who are trying to love honestly, but are also deeply terrified of their feelings and society's punishment towards them. Apart from deeply moving reflections about love, friendship, queerness, college, work, addiction, life and death; the story uses the metaphor of crocodiles disguised as humans to protray queerness and the institutional persecution, fetishizing fascination of "researchers", and the self-loathing with which they had to live.
The story mainly focuses on Lazi, as she traverses her college years, and experiences love, obsession and excruciating pain. She is the utmost perpetrator of her pain and failed/toxic relationships, due to her fear and self-hatred (although I think that a lie, because ultimately it is society's fault, but tracing back the root of the problem is not my call to make). However, all of her emotions, thoughts and her complicated relationship with mental illness (like the other lgbt+ characters) were relatable and heartbreaking.
The story is full of important reflections, but most of all, I believe it is a piece of literature that as a lgbt+ individual you cannot simply ignore no matter your identity, ethnicity and nationality. Queer classics are spare, full of pain, but also full of history, love and wisdom to remind us always that there were others like us everywhere and that our fight is never-ending until all of us can (not survive, but) LIVE fully and happily.
My heart goes with the author and all our other siblings who existed, exist and will exist.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Sexual content, Suicide, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Homophobia, Lesbophobia, Suicide attempt, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, and Toxic relationship