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A review by poseymckeon
Why Him? Why Her?: Understanding Your Personality Type and Finding the Perfect Match by Helen Fisher
3.0
3.75/5 stars.
Perhaps if Dr. Helen Fisher was a professor at my university, and she taught a class called "The Anthropology of Love," I would have actually willingly taken a bio-anthro course during my undergrad, instead of avoiding them at all costs. (Call me a fake anthropologist if this makes me one, I accept.) Though it is her specific field of research, so she makes a pretty damn good argument for it, I understand there is a biological explanation for who we are and what we do, especially in regard to our ~natural~ dispositions (aka personalities) and our human quest in finding companionship and inclination to build relationships. However, this book is tackling the questions of: with whom? in what way? what is it about our individual selves (or group of like-minded people)? and, of course, why???
I don't intend to spoil Dr. Fisher's insightful discoveries and findings, but I do wish to applaud this book as it not only contributes to ongoing literature in bio-anthropology but also more specifically contributes to my ongoing research on personality and compatibility (relationships). Though Dr. Fisher's 'types' are based on different systems/chemicals in the brain while MBTI, Keirsey's work, and the Big Five are comparatively more psychologically-based, there are- as you can expect- interesting overlaps in their end conclusions. I found myself trying to decipher who the Explorers, Builders, Negotiators, and Directors of Dr. Fisher's research are within the context of MBTI's sixteen personalities by reflecting on my results from both systems' evaluations.
Personality is fascinating, but I like how this book really treats personality in a realistic way. Yes a person is an individual, but people are not isolated individuals. We inevitably build relationships, develop attachments, and seek some nature of companionship in other people- whether we realize it or not. While many people will enter this book with the thought that 'the perfect match' Dr. Fisher is addressing could only be a romantic relationship, I hope people come out of reading this book realizing that this could be a... guide- not an answer book nor a perfect map- to understanding any kind of relationship by way of understanding the effects that our chemistry has on how we perceive the world and make decisions based on those perceptions. But if you're interest is in romantic love, then this book definitely serves that purpose, too.
Perhaps if Dr. Helen Fisher was a professor at my university, and she taught a class called "The Anthropology of Love," I would have actually willingly taken a bio-anthro course during my undergrad, instead of avoiding them at all costs. (Call me a fake anthropologist if this makes me one, I accept.) Though it is her specific field of research, so she makes a pretty damn good argument for it, I understand there is a biological explanation for who we are and what we do, especially in regard to our ~natural~ dispositions (aka personalities) and our human quest in finding companionship and inclination to build relationships. However, this book is tackling the questions of: with whom? in what way? what is it about our individual selves (or group of like-minded people)? and, of course, why???
I don't intend to spoil Dr. Fisher's insightful discoveries and findings, but I do wish to applaud this book as it not only contributes to ongoing literature in bio-anthropology but also more specifically contributes to my ongoing research on personality and compatibility (relationships). Though Dr. Fisher's 'types' are based on different systems/chemicals in the brain while MBTI, Keirsey's work, and the Big Five are comparatively more psychologically-based, there are- as you can expect- interesting overlaps in their end conclusions. I found myself trying to decipher who the Explorers, Builders, Negotiators, and Directors of Dr. Fisher's research are within the context of MBTI's sixteen personalities by reflecting on my results from both systems' evaluations.
Personality is fascinating, but I like how this book really treats personality in a realistic way. Yes a person is an individual, but people are not isolated individuals. We inevitably build relationships, develop attachments, and seek some nature of companionship in other people- whether we realize it or not. While many people will enter this book with the thought that 'the perfect match' Dr. Fisher is addressing could only be a romantic relationship, I hope people come out of reading this book realizing that this could be a... guide- not an answer book nor a perfect map- to understanding any kind of relationship by way of understanding the effects that our chemistry has on how we perceive the world and make decisions based on those perceptions. But if you're interest is in romantic love, then this book definitely serves that purpose, too.