A review by cais
Is Shame Necessary?: New Uses for an Old Tool by Jennifer Jacquet

5.0

Years ago I had a boyfriend who was appalled when I even tried to discuss the subject of using shame as a means to punish people for doing horrible things when the law fails to do so. I think he, like many people, had an adverse reaction to the concept of implementing shame as a means to changing behavior because he feared being shamed for his own behavior. This book isn't about the fear of being shamed or how to recover from having been shamed, but rather it's an argument for using shame as a "nonviolent form of resistance."

Jennifer Jacquet has done an incredible job of discussing shame as a means to not only create new norms that benefit humanity, but to alter the behavior of people who deviate from those norms. She distinguishes differences among shame, guilt, embarrassment and transparency, arguing that though feeling guilt is more prevalent than feeling shame in western cultures, guilt has limited power and is more about self-regulation than changes that benefit a group. Guilt is also a tool of consumerism, which places the burden of change on individuals rather than on corporations or governments e.g. "green guilt" which leads people to buy expensive products that are supposed to be better for the environment. Shaming a water polluting corporation, for example, can lead to changes that benefit everyone and also creates a new norm for what is acceptable regarding a corporation's environmental responsibility.

Jacquet acknowledges that shame sometimes doesn't work because "people just don't want to become the person the group wants them to be, and other times they cannot" adding that some people "do not conform to to social norms because they cannot afford to care" or "because they can afford not to care" highlighting how shame can be very different depending upon your socio-economic status. Sometimes shaming backfires and what was meant to be a source of shame becomes a source of pride or even humor. Also, some people are incapable of feeling shame.

She provides "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Shaming" which is fascinating and practical. Of course, she discusses how the Internet has altered shame and shaming greatly because of the speed at which a wide audience can be reached, which leads to the problem of proportionality: minor offenses that are recorded and shared can lead to greater shame and punishment than much greater offenses that are not recorded or shared. Jacquet states that optimal shaming doesn't destroy anyone's life and that where there is a formal means of punishment i.e. the law, shaming should not be used.

This book is fascinating and well-written and has really challenged me to think about the concept of and uses for shaming. I tended to equate shame and guilt and saw them both as so personal, but now I am rethinking shame as a means to makes big changes that benefit humanity and this one planet we have to share.