A review by sjj169
Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet by Adam Howe

4.0

This book is a collection on 3 novellas.
First up you have
Damn Dirty Apes

Reggie used to be a prizefighter before he went up against Boar Hog Brannon.
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He got his butt kicked and is now serving as a bouncer at the Henhouse.
The Henhouse was a titty honk on the outskirts of town. The joint wasn't much to write home about, and why the hell would you? Dear Mom, Getting a lap dance and thought of you.... Lit by neon beer signs, fairy lights, and a gaudy glitter ball about the T-shaped stage, the place had a seedy Pleasure Island ambience.
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One of the local idiotspatrons decides to make a monster porn starring his stripper girlfriend and his best friend (who just happens to dress in his old mascot outfit-large ape)
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During amateur porn time..the legendary Bigelow Skunk Ape takes a liking to his buddy, Ned and takes off with him.
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So it's up to Reggie, the videographer Lester, his stripper/pornstarwannabe girlfriend and a Monster hunter to head off into the woods to try and "rescue" Ned.
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Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet

Terrence Hingle is in the looney bin for chopping up some sorority girls. He escapes and takes with him a waitress from the near by dive because she drives a volkswagon Bug.
"Ted Bundy drove a Bug." The man grinned. "Did you know that?"
No. No, she hadn't known that. What person in their right mind would?


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On the escape they meet up with a couple of really sweet brothers.
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And stuff happens.
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Gator Bait I had already read this one..but it's freaking awesome.
Poor Smitty aka Three Fingers. He gets caught with his hand in the honey pot.
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By the Honey Pot's husband and ends up losing a couple of the fingers on his hand. It could have been worse since there was a "cigar cutter" involved.
He takes off running.
Smitty ends up in the swamp at a bar named "The Grinnin' Gator".
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Smitty needs some cash and a place to re-adjust so he takes a job playing the piano at the bar.
But this bar has a story, Croker who owns the bar has a little something extra out back.
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Big George.

Big George was captured by Croker on a gator hunt he took with his dad..Croker's leg didn't make it. Daddy might be scarce too.
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But poor Big George ended up getting hunted and brought back to the Grinnin' Gator. He is Croker's bestie though and he makes sure that he gets lots of goodies.
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Now there is the sad little fact that Smitty has sworn off the Dames after losing his fingers over one...but then enters Grace.
She just happens to be Croker's wife.

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Then the shit hits the fan.
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Booksource: The author of this book did provide me with an ARC copy of this book. He knew what he was getting into...

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This might be one of my longest reviews so in keeping with that I'll just feature everyone on my friends list that has braved this gorefestbook.
You have Kelly and Mitchell together we probably broke the internet with our gifiness. Quit crying. You know you like them.
Then you have Melki who's bear avatar I completely understand now...she is waiting on some "morsels"
And Susan who should hide that cute little doggie of her's eyes when she is reading this kind of material.