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A review by hidekisohma
Paths Not Taken by Simon R. Green
2.0
And we are back! to the continuing adventures of captain Gary Stu. Honestly, I find it very amusing that i'm still reading these books. The main character is so terrible it's actually laughable. With the exception of Harry Dresden, I am hard pressed to find a more self important magical Gary Stu than this guy. Every time I think he's shown the extent of his overpoweredness, he outdoes himself! And this time, it involves time travel. Oh boy. This is going to be interesting.
So this time, Gary (I will be calling him Gary even though his name is John), wants to see how the nightside was created (an idea brought up last book) but before we do that, we need about 60 pages of filler with a 40 year old guy whose past and future selves try to kill him. It really has no bearing on the story and just has to do with time travel. So..yeah that's there. You can basically forget about it once it's done because it's never mentioned again once the actual plot gets underway. That is what we call "Padding".
Anyway, so Gary goes to get 'power of the novel' guy. What i mean by that is in pretty much every one of these books, Gary teams up with a random powerful guy from the nightside. Whether it be madman, billy bones, or in this case, a guy who basically has a suped up version of force persuasion. Like, his power is, he can walk up to you and convince you that you don't exist. Yeah, I know, this book series has a lot of broken OP characters. But none are so OP as Captain Gary Stu. So with persuasion guy and of course Shotgun Suzie, they head off to go to the past to discover the origin of the nightside. They go to father time who sends them back in time because he's captain gary stu and everyone does everything for him. Whether it be person, wizard, or god. All fall before Captain Gary Stu.
For some reason though, they don't get far enough back in time and they end up in the days of camelot. There they realize Merlin should be able to help them. But Arthur just died, so he doesn't want to. Okay. So....they need Merlin's help. What is plan B? that's right. Kill Merlin and rip his magical heart from his body and use that magic to travel further back in time. I honestly wish i was joking.
When persuasion guy goes "hey, this is a REALLY bad idea. we can't go around murdering people just to sate your curiosity Gary," Which...in all honestly is a completely normal and rational reaction. But you can't question Captain Gary Stu! So they beat up their friend and send him back to the present. Because he dared to question Captain Gary Stu's logic of murdering Merlin and causing the death of his innocent Druid girlfriend. Did I leave that part out? Yeah. She dies too trying to save Merlin. But Captain Gary Stu can't be bothered with such things as guilt or repercussions! He has far better things to do. Like going further back in time.
But oh no! they fall short again! What on Earth will Captain Gary do now?? Well, OBVIOUSLY the answer is beat up Poseidon and have him tell them that they need to speak to a forest god. So he visits it (it turns out to be that forest god bum from Hex and the City) and even though no mortal has ever beaten him in a race out of the forest, of course he wins, because he's captain Gary Stu.
The forest dude is angry and is going to kill Gary anyway, but he doesn't because a random sorcerer saves him and sends him all the way back to the beginning of the Nightside. So FINALLY we get there and Lillith is there being all....Lillithy. Suddenly 2 archangels show up and are like "hey, we can't get into the Nightside by ourselves. let us possess you for a few minutes." Suzie and Gary agree and they go in. Lillith is super weak due to just making the Nightside but Captain Gary Stu stops the Angel from killing Lillith because he says AND I QUOTE "I couldn't let her die because of something she hadn't done yet and might never do. Humanity had to have its chance, but so did she."
Um...bro? THAT'S GO%$#$@ LILLITH. This isn't some guy named Bob who one day MIGHT rob a bank. It's seriously the frickin'....ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I'm...i'm trying to wrap my head around this. You're trying to tell me that you can't let Lillith die because she hasn't ended the world yet? Because it hasn't happened yet? I just....that's like saying "oh no, we travelled back in time to 1944 Germany, but we can't kill Hitler yet because he hasn't created giant Robots that run on orphan blood yet. It's not our place to kill him." I just...are you mental? Is there seriously something wrong with you Gary?
Look. I understand that if Lillith were to die in the past you wouldn't be born. Fine. If you want to say "I didn't want to die, I know it's selfish, but i just couldn't willingly kill myself" Fine. I will totally accept that. It's a character flaw, but one we can all relate. but NO They had to go and make it seem like he was doing the right thing. Like always. because he is CAPTAIN GARY STU who can do no wrong.
So they eject the angels and don't kill Lillith, but they weaken her. They go back to the present and Gary says NOW they have to kill Lillith. Because I hate this guy.
This book. God this book was even more exhausting than the others. This guy is such a terrible, awful, garbage main character. He is such an OP piece of nonsense I can't even. His power is "he can find anything" That is the most broad power I can think of. He has used this power to find people, locations, weaknesses, bonds to worlds, bonds to time, singular points of life connecting to power center. He can literally have this power mean whatever he wants whenever. That would be like me having the power of communication but having it mean that i can not only speak every language ever, but i can transfer thoughts to anyone in the world, make anyone say anything at any time, scramble phones, emails, make anyone hear what i want them to or see any body language. But, i can also manipulate the communication between the brain and body and make them having spasms and brain aneurysms. You see how without a specified set of guidelines that can be REALLY broken? and that's the biggest flaw with these books. Captain Gary Stu's powers are too ill defined and broad. Also apparently everyone including gods are scared of him. Because he is super powered Gary Stu man.
The other problem is Shotgun Suzie. Guess what her superpower is? Figured it out? She's got a shotgun. Yep. that's her power. She can shoot stuff. Fantastic i know. And her character is one of those damaged "i was sexually abused and now no man can touch me". Because god forbid we have a female character that's just you know....strong without being sexually broken. And this is something they bring up CONSTANTLY as she's supposed to be his main squeeze. But wait! We can't have him squeeze her, because she's so damaged and nobody can touch her. And on top of this, he's so chauvinistically protective of her it's like oh my god.
After all this, will I read the next book? Honestly, probably yeah. Why you may ask? Because it's entertaining. It's like a train wreck. I honestly can't look away. It's hilariously awful main character writing, but i like the world that's created. I DO have to say that the author has some good world building skills. But his main character is like something a 12 year old would make for his first Dungeons and Dragons character.
Here are several reviews on the front and back cover of the book.
"an incredible world" "a macabre and thoroughly entertaining world"
You see how NEITHER of those mention the main character? Yep. that's because he's terrible. But the world is good. And with that, I rest my case. What will Captain Gary Stu and his revolving crew of "not important as me" sidekicks have in store for us next time? Well i will definitely find out because man, this stuff is too ridiculous to stop. 2.5/5 lowered to a 2 because of Captain Gary Stu's idiocy.
So this time, Gary (I will be calling him Gary even though his name is John), wants to see how the nightside was created (an idea brought up last book) but before we do that, we need about 60 pages of filler with a 40 year old guy whose past and future selves try to kill him. It really has no bearing on the story and just has to do with time travel. So..yeah that's there. You can basically forget about it once it's done because it's never mentioned again once the actual plot gets underway. That is what we call "Padding".
Anyway, so Gary goes to get 'power of the novel' guy. What i mean by that is in pretty much every one of these books, Gary teams up with a random powerful guy from the nightside. Whether it be madman, billy bones, or in this case, a guy who basically has a suped up version of force persuasion. Like, his power is, he can walk up to you and convince you that you don't exist. Yeah, I know, this book series has a lot of broken OP characters. But none are so OP as Captain Gary Stu. So with persuasion guy and of course Shotgun Suzie, they head off to go to the past to discover the origin of the nightside. They go to father time who sends them back in time because he's captain gary stu and everyone does everything for him. Whether it be person, wizard, or god. All fall before Captain Gary Stu.
For some reason though, they don't get far enough back in time and they end up in the days of camelot. There they realize Merlin should be able to help them. But Arthur just died, so he doesn't want to. Okay. So....they need Merlin's help. What is plan B? that's right. Kill Merlin and rip his magical heart from his body and use that magic to travel further back in time. I honestly wish i was joking.
When persuasion guy goes "hey, this is a REALLY bad idea. we can't go around murdering people just to sate your curiosity Gary," Which...in all honestly is a completely normal and rational reaction. But you can't question Captain Gary Stu! So they beat up their friend and send him back to the present. Because he dared to question Captain Gary Stu's logic of murdering Merlin and causing the death of his innocent Druid girlfriend. Did I leave that part out? Yeah. She dies too trying to save Merlin. But Captain Gary Stu can't be bothered with such things as guilt or repercussions! He has far better things to do. Like going further back in time.
But oh no! they fall short again! What on Earth will Captain Gary do now?? Well, OBVIOUSLY the answer is beat up Poseidon and have him tell them that they need to speak to a forest god. So he visits it (it turns out to be that forest god bum from Hex and the City) and even though no mortal has ever beaten him in a race out of the forest, of course he wins, because he's captain Gary Stu.
The forest dude is angry and is going to kill Gary anyway, but he doesn't because a random sorcerer saves him and sends him all the way back to the beginning of the Nightside. So FINALLY we get there and Lillith is there being all....Lillithy. Suddenly 2 archangels show up and are like "hey, we can't get into the Nightside by ourselves. let us possess you for a few minutes." Suzie and Gary agree and they go in. Lillith is super weak due to just making the Nightside but Captain Gary Stu stops the Angel from killing Lillith because he says AND I QUOTE "I couldn't let her die because of something she hadn't done yet and might never do. Humanity had to have its chance, but so did she."
Um...bro? THAT'S GO%$#$@ LILLITH. This isn't some guy named Bob who one day MIGHT rob a bank. It's seriously the frickin'....ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I'm...i'm trying to wrap my head around this. You're trying to tell me that you can't let Lillith die because she hasn't ended the world yet? Because it hasn't happened yet? I just....that's like saying "oh no, we travelled back in time to 1944 Germany, but we can't kill Hitler yet because he hasn't created giant Robots that run on orphan blood yet. It's not our place to kill him." I just...are you mental? Is there seriously something wrong with you Gary?
Look. I understand that if Lillith were to die in the past you wouldn't be born. Fine. If you want to say "I didn't want to die, I know it's selfish, but i just couldn't willingly kill myself" Fine. I will totally accept that. It's a character flaw, but one we can all relate. but NO They had to go and make it seem like he was doing the right thing. Like always. because he is CAPTAIN GARY STU who can do no wrong.
So they eject the angels and don't kill Lillith, but they weaken her. They go back to the present and Gary says NOW they have to kill Lillith. Because I hate this guy.
This book. God this book was even more exhausting than the others. This guy is such a terrible, awful, garbage main character. He is such an OP piece of nonsense I can't even. His power is "he can find anything" That is the most broad power I can think of. He has used this power to find people, locations, weaknesses, bonds to worlds, bonds to time, singular points of life connecting to power center. He can literally have this power mean whatever he wants whenever. That would be like me having the power of communication but having it mean that i can not only speak every language ever, but i can transfer thoughts to anyone in the world, make anyone say anything at any time, scramble phones, emails, make anyone hear what i want them to or see any body language. But, i can also manipulate the communication between the brain and body and make them having spasms and brain aneurysms. You see how without a specified set of guidelines that can be REALLY broken? and that's the biggest flaw with these books. Captain Gary Stu's powers are too ill defined and broad. Also apparently everyone including gods are scared of him. Because he is super powered Gary Stu man.
The other problem is Shotgun Suzie. Guess what her superpower is? Figured it out? She's got a shotgun. Yep. that's her power. She can shoot stuff. Fantastic i know. And her character is one of those damaged "i was sexually abused and now no man can touch me". Because god forbid we have a female character that's just you know....strong without being sexually broken. And this is something they bring up CONSTANTLY as she's supposed to be his main squeeze. But wait! We can't have him squeeze her, because she's so damaged and nobody can touch her. And on top of this, he's so chauvinistically protective of her it's like oh my god.
After all this, will I read the next book? Honestly, probably yeah. Why you may ask? Because it's entertaining. It's like a train wreck. I honestly can't look away. It's hilariously awful main character writing, but i like the world that's created. I DO have to say that the author has some good world building skills. But his main character is like something a 12 year old would make for his first Dungeons and Dragons character.
Here are several reviews on the front and back cover of the book.
"an incredible world" "a macabre and thoroughly entertaining world"
You see how NEITHER of those mention the main character? Yep. that's because he's terrible. But the world is good. And with that, I rest my case. What will Captain Gary Stu and his revolving crew of "not important as me" sidekicks have in store for us next time? Well i will definitely find out because man, this stuff is too ridiculous to stop. 2.5/5 lowered to a 2 because of Captain Gary Stu's idiocy.