A review by carolineinthelibrary
Ask: Building Consent Culture by Kitty Stryker

3.0

I truly struggle to rate and critique this book, but with a gentle hand, I'll try. I thought the concept of this was incredible when I first picked it up. As a sexual assault survivor, I want nothing more than consent culture to be radiated through our society. Many of the stories in this anthology touched on that in ways I'd never even thought to think of consent. Even as the person I am, they made me think I could do better to seek consent in every day life. Where I struggle is that some of these felt so disconnecting. I think it's great that Kitty Stryker sought diverse voices, as they need to be heard, but some of the voices carried aggression. The "if you're a cis, white woman, you don't understand this" feeling was rampant in a lot of these and I don't often feel put off by that. I fully understand how my privilege can prevent me from seeing all sides of oppression and inequality, but this almost made me feel like I shouldn't try to help because my help isn't wanted. I also feel like people who should hear more about incorporating consent into daily life will turn their backs on this book. I hate to say that, but the people that really need to hear the message will feel totally disconnected when the work and consent section is almost entirely about the sex worker industry or when we start talking about swingers and sex parties. Building consent culture is so essential but I just feel like this book uninvited some of us from the consent party.