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A review by theknightswhosaybook
Clockwork Fairy Tales: A Collection of Steampunk Fables by Pip Ballantine, Steven Harper, Paul Di Filippo, Nancy A. Collins, K.W. Jeter, Stephen L. Antczak, Kat Richardson, Jay Lake, James C. Bassett, Gregory Nicoll, G.K. Hayes, Philippa Ballantine
2.0
Story 1: La Valse
A "Red Shoes" retelling with a dark twist. A little too short for me to get a good grasp on the story or why I should care about these characters, but it was interesting at least, and I didn't expect the ending.
Story 2: Fair Vasyl
A "Vasilisa the Beautiful" retelling with a male protagonist and gay romance. Easily my favorite of the entire book! There were plot twists and close calls and jokes and sweet romantic gestures and unique elements that I haven't seen in any other retellings like this. If only every story in this book were as original and well-rounded.
Story 3: The Hollow Hounds
A "Tinderbox" retelling with lots of guns. If the true measure of a retelling is whether or not you enjoy it more than the original (and that is my take on the subject), then this story failed. There were exciting parts, but mostly I felt myself drifting off from the story to daydream about how Fair Vasyl could be continued. Yet this story still shines in comparison to the next one.
Story 4: The Kings of Mount Golden
A "King of the Golden Mountain" retelling with too much formal language, a clunky exposition, and not enough anything else. Lots of drama yet somehow no excitement. To be honest I can't tell you much about this story, because it was so boring that I skimmed a lot of it and finally skipped it altogether about halfway through.
Story 5: You Will Attend Until Beauty Awakens
A "Sleeping Beauty" retelling with too much backstory for a short story. The beginning, with all the different characters, was unnecessarily long and confusing, but once I got it straightened out it was an interesting take on how the sleeping curse works. And props to the author for actually addressing that gay and bi people exist, because otherwise I would have spent the entire story rolling my eyes thinking "sure, ok, you isolate the princess from all men in the kingdom, surprise jerks she's probably a lesbian anyway".
…She wasn't, but having the narrator point out that she could be kept me from having to think it constantly.
Story 6: Mose and the Automatic Fireman
A "Mose by Fireboy" retelling with, meh, nothing wrong with it. I don't have any previous experience with Mose the Fireboy stories to compare it to so I guess that made it lack depth for me. Better than many of the other stories in the book.
Story 7: The Clockwork Suit
An "Emperor's New Clothes" retelling just original enough to be interesting. I could see this one actually being an interesting full length book if it was fleshed out more.
Story 8: The Steampiper, the Stovepiper, and the Pied Piper of New Hemelin Texas
A "Pied Piper" retelling that doesn't even deserve the time I just spent typing out its name, much less the time I spent reading it. To sum up my problems with this book: The main character is an adult man, and he has sex with a girl young enough to count as one of the children the Pied Piper tries to kidnap. Children. If that doesn't creep you the hell out, then??? This author (Gregory Nicoll) is going on my "never ever read ever again" list, and I hope he never crawls out of whatever stinking hole he wrote this story in.
Story 9: The Mechanical Wings
A "Wild Swans" retelling that is truly enjoyable. Maybe it just shone all the brighter for coming right after the crapshow that was the previous story, but this short story managed to pack in a lot of elements I really liked, from fiercely loyal clockwork dragonflies to a rival city with a dreamy king. Another one I would read fleshed out into a full length book!
All in all, Fair Vasyl and The Mechanical Wings each donated a full star to this rating. The remaining seven stories might have scraped up another star for a 3-star rating overall, but the Pied Piper story lost that star for them by virtue of being flat out terrible.
Sorry you were in the company of such terrible stories, guys. You deserved better.
A "Red Shoes" retelling with a dark twist. A little too short for me to get a good grasp on the story or why I should care about these characters, but it was interesting at least, and I didn't expect the ending.
Story 2: Fair Vasyl
A "Vasilisa the Beautiful" retelling with a male protagonist and gay romance. Easily my favorite of the entire book! There were plot twists and close calls and jokes and sweet romantic gestures and unique elements that I haven't seen in any other retellings like this. If only every story in this book were as original and well-rounded.
Story 3: The Hollow Hounds
A "Tinderbox" retelling with lots of guns. If the true measure of a retelling is whether or not you enjoy it more than the original (and that is my take on the subject), then this story failed. There were exciting parts, but mostly I felt myself drifting off from the story to daydream about how Fair Vasyl could be continued. Yet this story still shines in comparison to the next one.
Story 4: The Kings of Mount Golden
A "King of the Golden Mountain" retelling with too much formal language, a clunky exposition, and not enough anything else. Lots of drama yet somehow no excitement. To be honest I can't tell you much about this story, because it was so boring that I skimmed a lot of it and finally skipped it altogether about halfway through.
Story 5: You Will Attend Until Beauty Awakens
A "Sleeping Beauty" retelling with too much backstory for a short story. The beginning, with all the different characters, was unnecessarily long and confusing, but once I got it straightened out it was an interesting take on how the sleeping curse works. And props to the author for actually addressing that gay and bi people exist, because otherwise I would have spent the entire story rolling my eyes thinking "sure, ok, you isolate the princess from all men in the kingdom, surprise jerks she's probably a lesbian anyway".
…She wasn't, but having the narrator point out that she could be kept me from having to think it constantly.
Story 6: Mose and the Automatic Fireman
A "Mose by Fireboy" retelling with, meh, nothing wrong with it. I don't have any previous experience with Mose the Fireboy stories to compare it to so I guess that made it lack depth for me. Better than many of the other stories in the book.
Story 7: The Clockwork Suit
An "Emperor's New Clothes" retelling just original enough to be interesting. I could see this one actually being an interesting full length book if it was fleshed out more.
Story 8: The Steampiper, the Stovepiper, and the Pied Piper of New Hemelin Texas
A "Pied Piper" retelling that doesn't even deserve the time I just spent typing out its name, much less the time I spent reading it. To sum up my problems with this book: The main character is an adult man, and he has sex with a girl young enough to count as one of the children the Pied Piper tries to kidnap. Children. If that doesn't creep you the hell out, then??? This author (Gregory Nicoll) is going on my "never ever read ever again" list, and I hope he never crawls out of whatever stinking hole he wrote this story in.
Story 9: The Mechanical Wings
A "Wild Swans" retelling that is truly enjoyable. Maybe it just shone all the brighter for coming right after the crapshow that was the previous story, but this short story managed to pack in a lot of elements I really liked, from fiercely loyal clockwork dragonflies to a rival city with a dreamy king. Another one I would read fleshed out into a full length book!
All in all, Fair Vasyl and The Mechanical Wings each donated a full star to this rating. The remaining seven stories might have scraped up another star for a 3-star rating overall, but the Pied Piper story lost that star for them by virtue of being flat out terrible.
Sorry you were in the company of such terrible stories, guys. You deserved better.