A review by scholarhect
The Iron Tree by Cecilia Dart-Thornton

1.0

Without doubt one of the worst starts to a series I've ever read - appallingly overwritten, like she swallowed and regurgitated a thesaurus, with one dimensional characters whom we learn precious little of, except that the leads are Very Very Pretty. The story spans some... Fifteen years? And let me tell you, the ten days I spent reading it felt about that long. I was about ready to gouge my eyes out the third time I came across a description of the colour of someone's eyelids and how much they resembled a butterfly - this is a trope I hope to never again encounter, and which makes me wonder how anyone in their right mind can refer to her world- and character-building as "Tolkien-esque". The suggestion that this is anywhere in Tolkien's league is insulting and laughable. More offensive, however, was the unexpected (and entirely unnecessary) transliteration of the Grimnørslanders' accent; I assume it's supposed to invoke the New Zealand accent for Australian and Kiwi readers but as no other accent is indicated by phonetic spelling, it comes across as an infantile, and poorly made, joke.

I remember enjoying CDT's first series a lot (except for the "twist" and subsequent make-it-better retcon right at the end of the third novel), and these have been on my shelf for quite a while, so I was incredibly disappointed to find out how bland this was. I feel no compulsion whatsoever to know what happens in the next three books in the series. The only reason I bothered to finish this one was because I've already abandoned three books this year due to boredom and it's spoiling my 52 book challenge.

One star is being kind. Don't bother.