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A review by ec_newman
Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own by Kate Bolick
4.0
So much I related to and so much I differed on. This will make me muse for a long while. I'm mostly appreciative that Bolick gave me so much history on women, and women writers. I think I added five new books to read while reading this.
---
I was reading/skimming over the reviews and found that just like Bolick does in the book, the reviewers view Bolick’s experiences through their own, very specific lens. Bolick herself does this when researching her ‘awakeners’, comparing them to her and her experiences. There is nothing wrong with this; it is often how we see the world, but in realizing that, I see how narrowed a reading experience can be. And in some ways, I disagree with Bolick. She and I have really different beliefs on a number of things. However, the similarities are comforting for me. That my weird dichotomous desire for love and companionship, yet deep-seated need for solitude is not just me.
This book makes me want to find my own ‘awakeners’ and have a few conversations.
--
I had a very nice short twitter convo with the author.
Kate Bolick @katebolick May 16
@ec_newman TY for "getting" my project: Show my highly subjective experience so others can agree/disagree=ENGAGE + find own awakeners.
E C Newman
@katebolick I'm a southerner so I feel like I need to be checking out southern spinster writers :) TY again for your openness & honesty.
Kate Bolick
@ec_newman YES -- a whole book in itself, really. I wanted to include (particularly as I'm half southern!) but just didn't have time/space.
E C Newman
@katebolick Flannery o'Connor is first on my list.
Kate Bolick
@ec_newman Indisputably!
Which totally made my day because holy cow, I had a conversation with the author!! (cue star-struck expression).
And maybe that's it. She says that her book is entirely subjective, which as a nonfiction memoir/autobiography,....whatever you call it, of course it's subjective. I don't get why anyone reading it would deny her the chance to share her life and experience.
It's an interesting read and I went in with curiosity and a hope to learn something new. I enjoyed finding out about the five awakeners: Neith Boyce, Maeve Brennan, Charlotte Gilman, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and Edith Wharton. Millay is fairly new to me, so learning about her rather...intense life was fun. The history of single women and their role in society, not a lesson I ever got in school. I'm grateful to get to see the world from a new angle.
Bolick's life is very different than mine. She grew up in New England, she moved to NYC, she lost her mom in her early twenties. We don't have a lot in common on the surface. She has dated way more than I have (which really is a pretty low bar to overcome. I'm not much of a dater), and judging from the cover, she is exceptionally pretty. She's older than I and her views on what belongs in marriage are different than my views.
Despite all those differences, I related. The wanting independence and living alone. The need and desire to write, but having no time because bills need to be paid. Watching so many friends get married...I get all that. And knowing that someone else out there wants to be loved and to love, yet enjoys her aloneness, that's incredibly comforting. That my experiences are mine, but they are not completely foreign to others.
---
I was reading/skimming over the reviews and found that just like Bolick does in the book, the reviewers view Bolick’s experiences through their own, very specific lens. Bolick herself does this when researching her ‘awakeners’, comparing them to her and her experiences. There is nothing wrong with this; it is often how we see the world, but in realizing that, I see how narrowed a reading experience can be. And in some ways, I disagree with Bolick. She and I have really different beliefs on a number of things. However, the similarities are comforting for me. That my weird dichotomous desire for love and companionship, yet deep-seated need for solitude is not just me.
This book makes me want to find my own ‘awakeners’ and have a few conversations.
--
I had a very nice short twitter convo with the author.
Kate Bolick @katebolick May 16
@ec_newman TY for "getting" my project: Show my highly subjective experience so others can agree/disagree=ENGAGE + find own awakeners.
E C Newman
@katebolick I'm a southerner so I feel like I need to be checking out southern spinster writers :) TY again for your openness & honesty.
Kate Bolick
@ec_newman YES -- a whole book in itself, really. I wanted to include (particularly as I'm half southern!) but just didn't have time/space.
E C Newman
@katebolick Flannery o'Connor is first on my list.
Kate Bolick
@ec_newman Indisputably!
Which totally made my day because holy cow, I had a conversation with the author!! (cue star-struck expression).
And maybe that's it. She says that her book is entirely subjective, which as a nonfiction memoir/autobiography,....whatever you call it, of course it's subjective. I don't get why anyone reading it would deny her the chance to share her life and experience.
It's an interesting read and I went in with curiosity and a hope to learn something new. I enjoyed finding out about the five awakeners: Neith Boyce, Maeve Brennan, Charlotte Gilman, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and Edith Wharton. Millay is fairly new to me, so learning about her rather...intense life was fun. The history of single women and their role in society, not a lesson I ever got in school. I'm grateful to get to see the world from a new angle.
Bolick's life is very different than mine. She grew up in New England, she moved to NYC, she lost her mom in her early twenties. We don't have a lot in common on the surface. She has dated way more than I have (which really is a pretty low bar to overcome. I'm not much of a dater), and judging from the cover, she is exceptionally pretty. She's older than I and her views on what belongs in marriage are different than my views.
Despite all those differences, I related. The wanting independence and living alone. The need and desire to write, but having no time because bills need to be paid. Watching so many friends get married...I get all that. And knowing that someone else out there wants to be loved and to love, yet enjoys her aloneness, that's incredibly comforting. That my experiences are mine, but they are not completely foreign to others.