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A review by sarahjonewt
Empire of Light by Alex Harrow
3.0
AAAGH. This book had SUCH potential, and yet it failed so hard. If I had the ability, I would give it 2.5 stars, but I can't, so I decided--generously--to round up rather than down.
I'll get into the (many) weaknesses in a moment, but I do want to mention that, at a line level, the writing was strong, which is probably the only reason I (mostly) finished it. Also, it had demisexual representation (and another character at the end who is notorious for wearing purple and who, in-scene, ordered cake, which was about as wink wink nudge nudge as you can get). Actually, representation across the spectrum was well done, and I really did like how casual and don't-bat-an-eye gender and sexual orientation were treated in-story.
As far as weaknesses go...hoo boy.
1. One of the earliest issues I noticed was that the descriptions of characters' movements in regards to their scene/surroundings was jarringly hard to follow and often made no sense. I've never read anything like it, but the best way I can describe it is that a scene would play out in my mind only to have a character make a movement that, logistically, made no sense. For example, a heavily-injured character would take a couple of steps towards the POV character and then stumble and have to brace themselves on the wall, but that made no sense because they were now a couple of steps away? And the way the room was laid out, it wouldn't make sense for them to be in arm's reach of the wall parallel to them. If this had only happened once or twice, I would happily blame myself, but it happened all the time, and I can't help but think that this should've been beta-read a couple more times to catch these continuity errors.
2. The plot. Holy fuck. It felt like the author was treating his characters in the same way a toddler plays with their dolls. It was obvious the author wanted to get to Point B, and that they had beats they wanted to hit, but they never earned those plot developments or beats because they never made the plot solid enough to support that journey. This story was one of the most egregious examples of "character-driven" that I've ever seen. I usually prefer stories that are more character-driven, but this had almost no plot outside of the MC's tangled love-life. Half the time, I couldn't tell anyone's motivations, and the other half, those motivations made no sense. If I were to summarize the plot, it would be something like: the entire dystopian world in which the story takes place was put there just to challenge the MC's love life. Put another way, the author treated the story like fanfiction: they expected us to already know and love the MCs and understand all the intricate details that make for rich world-building. They obviously wanted to write fic featuring these characters, and that made for the world and the gears that make it run feel as as thin as the paper the story is told on.
3. Okay. I love me some well-deserved whump. I'm a sucker for h/c. But the main characters got the shit kicked out of them (or shot or even fucking) on almost every page. I got bored and unimpressed with the physical damage the characters suffered well before the half-way mark because I knew there'd be no long-lasting consequences and that the author would breeze past the recovery period. And that's what makes for bad h/c. You don't need to cripple your characters, but you need to space-out/limit the damage you inflict on them and take time to let the other characters worry and care for the injured one (eg, the ratio of "hurt" to "comfort" here was way too heavily skewed towards the former). If you throw too much whump at all of your characters in a short span of time, it loses significance.
4. The main character I literally rolled my eyes at this one.
5. And, on that note, what the fuck is the problem with
6. The revolving door of betrayals. Oh my god it was endless and, as with over-used whump, it got boring and predictable fast.
7. I never really empathized with anyone's motives or situation, and I think this was because the author moved the story along too quickly. This was a rare instance in which "fast-paced" is an understatement, and the story could've benefitted by being allowed to breathe. What should've been poignant plot developments ended up feeling like melodramatic soap opera tripe, and I honestly didn't really find myself caring about anyone, I think the other reason all the characters felt flat and like paper dolls is because there was no show to their development. We only learned about them from the MC's POV, and all he did was tell us how awesome they were and how much he loved them.
8. What was everyone's hang-up about
9. There were plot twists that I saw coming from a mile away and I was often annoyed at how long it took the MC to catch on to the hints.
10. Way too many adverbs.
11. I actually didn't finish the last chapter because I got so fed up with the melodrama between the MC and his two love interests. And I was bored AF.
11. The dialogue was mostly solid, though I felt that Raeyn's dialogue was way too over the top. Like, I get what the author was going for there, but it was too much. Also, there were a couple of times in which the banter felt completely unrealistic when considered within the context of the scene. In high stakes moments--eg, with a knife to one's throat or in the middle of a shoot-off--there might be a short quip, but a character doesn't usually have time or mental wherewithal to say two whole, syntactically complex sentences. Like whump and betrayal, I love banter within a story, but it often felt unnatural and most of the time wasn't as clever as the author probably thought.
In conclusion, I have a theory that the author was trying to write the next THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA what with the found-family, heists, fast plot, and (attempt at) witty banter. And, kudos for trying, but they did not succeed. It doesn't look like there's a sequel out (yet?), but I doubt I'll ever read anything else within this universe.
I'll get into the (many) weaknesses in a moment, but I do want to mention that, at a line level, the writing was strong, which is probably the only reason I (mostly) finished it. Also, it had demisexual representation (and another character at the end who is notorious for wearing purple and who, in-scene, ordered cake, which was about as wink wink nudge nudge as you can get). Actually, representation across the spectrum was well done, and I really did like how casual and don't-bat-an-eye gender and sexual orientation were treated in-story.
As far as weaknesses go...hoo boy.
1. One of the earliest issues I noticed was that the descriptions of characters' movements in regards to their scene/surroundings was jarringly hard to follow and often made no sense. I've never read anything like it, but the best way I can describe it is that a scene would play out in my mind only to have a character make a movement that, logistically, made no sense. For example, a heavily-injured character would take a couple of steps towards the POV character and then stumble and have to brace themselves on the wall, but that made no sense because they were now a couple of steps away? And the way the room was laid out, it wouldn't make sense for them to be in arm's reach of the wall parallel to them. If this had only happened once or twice, I would happily blame myself, but it happened all the time, and I can't help but think that this should've been beta-read a couple more times to catch these continuity errors.
2. The plot. Holy fuck. It felt like the author was treating his characters in the same way a toddler plays with their dolls. It was obvious the author wanted to get to Point B, and that they had beats they wanted to hit, but they never earned those plot developments or beats because they never made the plot solid enough to support that journey. This story was one of the most egregious examples of "character-driven" that I've ever seen. I usually prefer stories that are more character-driven, but this had almost no plot outside of the MC's tangled love-life. Half the time, I couldn't tell anyone's motivations, and the other half, those motivations made no sense. If I were to summarize the plot, it would be something like: the entire dystopian world in which the story takes place was put there just to challenge the MC's love life. Put another way, the author treated the story like fanfiction: they expected us to already know and love the MCs and understand all the intricate details that make for rich world-building. They obviously wanted to write fic featuring these characters, and that made for the world and the gears that make it run feel as as thin as the paper the story is told on.
3. Okay. I love me some well-deserved whump. I'm a sucker for h/c. But the main characters got the shit kicked out of them (or shot or even fucking
Spoiler
killed4. The main character
Spoiler
ended up being a Voyant???5. And, on that note, what the fuck is the problem with
Spoiler
being a Voyant? I would've liked to see a bit more exposition about Voyant = Wizard and why it is that it takes such a toll on the Voyant's body. And how could the president be one with no ill-effects? To me, this felt like a weak plot device that the author developed just to manufacture even more whump. And, okay, sure, it makes the Raeyn-is-a-magic-eating-vampire a bit more dramatic, but still. That whole concept was never really developed.6. The revolving door of betrayals. Oh my god it was endless and, as with over-used whump, it got boring and predictable fast.
7. I never really empathized with anyone's motives or situation, and I think this was because the author moved the story along too quickly. This was a rare instance in which "fast-paced" is an understatement, and the story could've benefitted by being allowed to breathe. What should've been poignant plot developments ended up feeling like melodramatic soap opera tripe, and I honestly didn't really find myself caring about anyone,
Spoiler
even Jay. Which sucks, because I generally adore characters like her and killing her should've been like a punch to the gut. But I never got to know her.8. What was everyone's hang-up about
Spoiler
Aris going to the Temple? I mean, it sounded like making the choice to live there was dangerous for Aris or had some other never-described risk to it, and then, three months later, he's just chilling and flirting with the bad guy? And it was right in the MC's backyard? So he could've visited at any time? Fuck, after that scene, he visited the Temple all the time. So their estrangement was completely manufactured and unnecessary? And what about Damian taking the job to kill the head of the Reds? He failed to assassinate her or the man she had originally paid him to kill and...there were never any ramifications after he failed to complete both jobs? Or a scramble to figure it out? In fact, three months passed with just...nothing? And sure, both of his hiring parties were working together behind the scene, but shouldn't the lack of retribution have made Damian more suspicious? These are just two of the many examples of things that really drove the tension in the story, only to completely fizzle out. It made the story feel cheap and like there were no ramifications to anything the MC did.9. There were plot twists that I saw coming from a mile away and I was often annoyed at how long it took the MC to catch on to the hints.
10. Way too many adverbs.
11. I actually didn't finish the last chapter because I got so fed up with the melodrama between the MC and his two love interests. And I was bored AF.
11. The dialogue was mostly solid, though I felt that Raeyn's dialogue was way too over the top. Like, I get what the author was going for there, but it was too much. Also, there were a couple of times in which the banter felt completely unrealistic when considered within the context of the scene. In high stakes moments--eg, with a knife to one's throat or in the middle of a shoot-off--there might be a short quip, but a character doesn't usually have time or mental wherewithal to say two whole, syntactically complex sentences. Like whump and betrayal, I love banter within a story, but it often felt unnatural and most of the time wasn't as clever as the author probably thought.
In conclusion, I have a theory that the author was trying to write the next THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA what with the found-family, heists, fast plot, and (attempt at) witty banter. And, kudos for trying, but they did not succeed. It doesn't look like there's a sequel out (yet?), but I doubt I'll ever read anything else within this universe.