A review by cass_lit
Why Fish Don't Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life by Lulu Miller

3.0

There is a certain category of nonfiction that doesn’t work for me. This started off like that and I was worried. 

I had no idea where this was going for most of this book. It seemed in the beginning like a stream of consciousness about “chaos” as the author worked through some thoughts on dependency (her dad, her ~curly haired~ ex-boyfriend). (All of her thoughts there are totally valid, I just don’t get a lot of enjoyment out of reading them.) I did not understand her obsession with David Starr Jordan at first, but then she started telling us all of the shitty things he did and I REALLY did not understand why he deserved a book that wasn’t focused on setting his reputation straight. When someone uses his power to cover sexual assault with threats and potentially murders someone (and definitely gaslights the hell out of her after her death), I’m simply not interested in the psychology behind why he did it. He did it and he was wrong. In my opinion, the author’s desperation to find out why Jordan was like this felt like she was trying to find an excuse for him. 

The last ~1/4 or so of the book truly saved it for me. Miller felt like she was unequivocally calling Jordan a bad person, and she even got a little vindictive - deservedly. The threads of the story finally started to make some sense and I could find a point to why she wrote this. I am in awe of Anna and Mary’s strength for getting through what they did; they’re a great model of what women (and all humans!) can be, no matter what depraved narcissists have said. I also didn’t know that “fish” wasn’t considered a scientific classification any longer, so it was equally as interesting as it was satisfying.
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