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A review by loont
A Peculiar Peril by Jeff VanderMeer
1.0
"How many tropes can I pack into the opening of a book?"
That's apparently the challenge the author took up for themselves, and upon doing so began writing this book. It was a struggle to even get past the opening so let's make a checklist: Fish out of water teenager, yep! Mysterious note promising intrigue and adventure, handed right to him! Unwanted boarding school, yes in England, with unwanted high expectations from grown ups, uh huh!
I would go on, there's more, there's literally another paragraph of them in the first ten pages of this book. But wait, because even within that span that last one I stopped on doesn't make any sense. Who, exactly, has these high expectations of the main character. His mom is missing, presumed dead by our protagonist even as he states "no, it's silly to expect her to not be dead even though she's only stated as missing", a statement that reads like a 12 year old non prodigy's attempt at foreshadowing.
Ok, wait, go back, criticizing this book is hard because almost every sentence has some point that doesn't make sense. Back to "who is it that expects our protagonist to achieve great things at their unwanted boarding school." Because f**k if I know, the protagonist just tells us this as if uninterestedly checking off a "list of plot points a book should have". Because his mom is missing and she didn't send him to the school, and his dad is gone or something so he didn't. And his grandfather doesn't talk to him or communicate with him at all. So wait how did he even get to the boarding school, who sent him there, who put these "unwanted expectations in his head"?
I don't know. And I tried reading a few more pages, but there's no answers and it gets no better. The plot is spun out as some uninterested, distant and emotionless drivel. This isn't a novel. It's a checklist of plot points filled out by a cynical, worn out person hoping to wring a paycheck out of whatever fans they have left from their previous successes.
That's apparently the challenge the author took up for themselves, and upon doing so began writing this book. It was a struggle to even get past the opening so let's make a checklist: Fish out of water teenager, yep! Mysterious note promising intrigue and adventure, handed right to him! Unwanted boarding school, yes in England, with unwanted high expectations from grown ups, uh huh!
I would go on, there's more, there's literally another paragraph of them in the first ten pages of this book. But wait, because even within that span that last one I stopped on doesn't make any sense. Who, exactly, has these high expectations of the main character. His mom is missing, presumed dead by our protagonist even as he states "no, it's silly to expect her to not be dead even though she's only stated as missing", a statement that reads like a 12 year old non prodigy's attempt at foreshadowing.
Ok, wait, go back, criticizing this book is hard because almost every sentence has some point that doesn't make sense. Back to "who is it that expects our protagonist to achieve great things at their unwanted boarding school." Because f**k if I know, the protagonist just tells us this as if uninterestedly checking off a "list of plot points a book should have". Because his mom is missing and she didn't send him to the school, and his dad is gone or something so he didn't. And his grandfather doesn't talk to him or communicate with him at all. So wait how did he even get to the boarding school, who sent him there, who put these "unwanted expectations in his head"?
I don't know. And I tried reading a few more pages, but there's no answers and it gets no better. The plot is spun out as some uninterested, distant and emotionless drivel. This isn't a novel. It's a checklist of plot points filled out by a cynical, worn out person hoping to wring a paycheck out of whatever fans they have left from their previous successes.