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A review by corvy707
Doctor Who: The Twin Dilemma by Eric Saward
2.5
You can't polish a turd, but you can't blame Eric Saward for trying! The Twin Dilemma has been so maligned (perhaps a little unfairly - it's bad, but it's by no means the worst Classic Who had to offer) since it first aired that the Target novelisation, normally used to adapt a story and usually add some embellishment or tweak a few things, has become the published equivalent to a manuscript covered in pencil notes and liberal strikethrus. I knew to some extent that that'd be the case, it was what drove me to pick this to represent the Sixth Doctor in my little Target-reading project, but the extent to which Saward is constantly flustered by his past self is nigh unbelievable.
The opening of the book encapsulates this very well. The prologue to the story, wherein Romulus and Remus are kidnapped, is so heavily embellished that it might as well be an entirely new sequence. We are told of infidelity, hyperintelligent cats, and alcoholism, none of which particularly pertinent to the actual televised tale. The latter especially rears its head many times over in the story - Saward tells on himself in Freudian means by the fiftieth time he brings up fictional alcohol 'Voxnic'. Almost the entire cast either has drunk it or has desired to drink it - he had the sense at least to not promote child alcoholism THAT directly - by the end!
If you just want a Target novel that's different from the televised story, this is the finest choice of all. Sure, Exciting Adventure With The Daleks has funky early instalment weirdness and The Cave Monsters totally changes the story by the simple act of emphasising its support cast, but The Twin Dilemma is just wonderfully bizarre from beginning to end. Stories completely unrelated to the main one crop up and interrupt story beats (including the climax for some godforesaken reason), we spend half the story in characters brains learning more of what they thought than what happened, and Saward develops this weird compulsion to imitate fellow Who alumni Douglas Adams. The reading experience is hindered by only one thing - you still can't polish a turd.
The opening of the book encapsulates this very well. The prologue to the story, wherein Romulus and Remus are kidnapped, is so heavily embellished that it might as well be an entirely new sequence. We are told of infidelity, hyperintelligent cats, and alcoholism, none of which particularly pertinent to the actual televised tale. The latter especially rears its head many times over in the story - Saward tells on himself in Freudian means by the fiftieth time he brings up fictional alcohol 'Voxnic'. Almost the entire cast either has drunk it or has desired to drink it - he had the sense at least to not promote child alcoholism THAT directly - by the end!
If you just want a Target novel that's different from the televised story, this is the finest choice of all. Sure, Exciting Adventure With The Daleks has funky early instalment weirdness and The Cave Monsters totally changes the story by the simple act of emphasising its support cast, but The Twin Dilemma is just wonderfully bizarre from beginning to end. Stories completely unrelated to the main one crop up and interrupt story beats (including the climax for some godforesaken reason), we spend half the story in characters brains learning more of what they thought than what happened, and Saward develops this weird compulsion to imitate fellow Who alumni Douglas Adams. The reading experience is hindered by only one thing - you still can't polish a turd.