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A review by joycet
The Body is Not an Apology, Second Edition: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor
4.0
I love so many of the points of this book. But here's the problem, and I think this is what so many other reviewers are pointing to - intellectually grasping what is going on only goes so far.
Absolutely we need to have pointed out the things we take for granted, especially those of us with some sort of privilege. But the work cannot be accomplished by this book and it's checklists and suggestions. It requires deep emotional work, because as one sits with these things, so much comes up, so much stews, and it leads to conversations and work that may at first seem to be a side quest or a rat hole of sorts - and yet, even as she shows us with some examples - it is all highly interrelated. And it is perhaps even more necessary for those with some privilege, because until we recognize and understand our own pain, we're never really going to be able to stop participating in or perpetrating the harm of others.
Perhaps another way to say this is that if you begin to unravel the skein of thread, you begin to find the knots and knots take time to work out. Especially if they are small and tight and in a cluster, which is what our pain and areas needing work tend to be. And especially if you've lived with it for so long that you no longer think about it as actually being a thing.
This is no dis on the author, but sometimes I would read a sentence and laugh because I or someone I know has spent weeks/months/years revisiting things - and that doesn't even touch on ancestral trauma we carry across generations - just because you can sum it up intellectually in a paragraph, doesn't mean that it has had the time to land, germinate and gestate. And this book doesn't really acknowledge that or point out that some of this cannot be solved by THINKING about it. We may need body workers, spiritual guides or mental health professionals to help us through various stages of this process, and what happens as the trauma rises to the surface and we have no tools to confront it or work with it OR we are not in a safe place physically or mentally or emotionally to process it.
So great work, but yes, there is a hunger for more, because this is close to what so many of us are working on, and this slim book is not a 'fix' or panacea or even a how-to manual. So if you don't have those physical/spiritual/emotional tools to aid you - it can feel like it didn't do much.
But any work here is necessary, appreciated, and helpful. So thank you to the author and yes this is harder than it might seem in this short book.
Absolutely we need to have pointed out the things we take for granted, especially those of us with some sort of privilege. But the work cannot be accomplished by this book and it's checklists and suggestions. It requires deep emotional work, because as one sits with these things, so much comes up, so much stews, and it leads to conversations and work that may at first seem to be a side quest or a rat hole of sorts - and yet, even as she shows us with some examples - it is all highly interrelated. And it is perhaps even more necessary for those with some privilege, because until we recognize and understand our own pain, we're never really going to be able to stop participating in or perpetrating the harm of others.
Perhaps another way to say this is that if you begin to unravel the skein of thread, you begin to find the knots and knots take time to work out. Especially if they are small and tight and in a cluster, which is what our pain and areas needing work tend to be. And especially if you've lived with it for so long that you no longer think about it as actually being a thing.
This is no dis on the author, but sometimes I would read a sentence and laugh because I or someone I know has spent weeks/months/years revisiting things - and that doesn't even touch on ancestral trauma we carry across generations - just because you can sum it up intellectually in a paragraph, doesn't mean that it has had the time to land, germinate and gestate. And this book doesn't really acknowledge that or point out that some of this cannot be solved by THINKING about it. We may need body workers, spiritual guides or mental health professionals to help us through various stages of this process, and what happens as the trauma rises to the surface and we have no tools to confront it or work with it OR we are not in a safe place physically or mentally or emotionally to process it.
So great work, but yes, there is a hunger for more, because this is close to what so many of us are working on, and this slim book is not a 'fix' or panacea or even a how-to manual. So if you don't have those physical/spiritual/emotional tools to aid you - it can feel like it didn't do much.
But any work here is necessary, appreciated, and helpful. So thank you to the author and yes this is harder than it might seem in this short book.