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cais's review
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
“Yet, the actuality of the experiences does bother me, the brute facts keep tripping me up…Facts are never simple, they come in awkward bunches.”
“Christopher was certainly more a socialist than he was a fascist, and more a pacifist than he was a socialist. But he was a queer first and foremost.”
“I have no right to sneer at Christopher’s soul searchings, just because they were conducted amidst bottles and boys – but they do embarrass me.”
In Isherwood’s first volume of diaries a big chunk is missing, a lost weekend that lasted several years. Here, having written this in the ‘70s (in the 3rd person), he very frankly fills in those missing details. If I highlighted every mention of him being drunk or having sex, much of the book would be highlighted. California’s flourishing, semi-secret gay scene helped him move past his guilty feelings about not becoming the Hindu monk he, for a moment, thought he was going to be. Promiscuity was his way of life during these years & he was quite successful at it.
I found it fascinating how easily he slid into bed with men he'd just met & how he had long-term casual sex relationships with so many friends & acquaintances. For Isherwood sex wasn't just physical pleasure, though it certainly was mainly that, but it also seemed to be a way of bonding with other men, a way of showing camaraderie. Often it did seem like he was trying to add to the notches on his bedpost to boost his own ego.
I found it fascinating how easily he slid into bed with men he'd just met & how he had long-term casual sex relationships with so many friends & acquaintances. For Isherwood sex wasn't just physical pleasure, though it certainly was mainly that, but it also seemed to be a way of bonding with other men, a way of showing camaraderie. Often it did seem like he was trying to add to the notches on his bedpost to boost his own ego.
It’s not all sex & booze. That compelling mix of Hollywood gossip, writing struggles, famous writer/artist friends (Auden, Forster, Capote, Huxley, Stravinsky, on & on), books he loved or hated, the shift from one life to another as he embraced his fascination with America & let his British/European self fade away. Isherwood’s insights into relationships is interesting, the idea of a mutual myth being key to a happy coupling. This intimate mythology allows for playfulness & imagination. His relationship during these years did not have that myth, being fueled by drunkenness & distractions. Not monogamous by any means, allowing for very free sexual exploration still couldn’t make it work. Yet he struggled to leave it, his fear of being alone too strong. Really, he was searching for the ideal companion.
Isherwood’s writing is just so captivating, even with his many faults (arrogance, hypochondria are milder ones) he’s such great company, funny & observant, as generous as he is critical. Really his diaries are incredible social & historical documents. His accounts of the social & sex lives of gay men during a time when most of what they did in private (& sometimes in public!) was illegal is described graphically (too much for some? not enough for others?). But they are an important look at how this group, often forced into hiding, was beginning to develop a consciousness of itself as a group, something which led right into the gay rights movement later on.
Isherwood’s writing is just so captivating, even with his many faults (arrogance, hypochondria are milder ones) he’s such great company, funny & observant, as generous as he is critical. Really his diaries are incredible social & historical documents. His accounts of the social & sex lives of gay men during a time when most of what they did in private (& sometimes in public!) was illegal is described graphically (too much for some? not enough for others?). But they are an important look at how this group, often forced into hiding, was beginning to develop a consciousness of itself as a group, something which led right into the gay rights movement later on.
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