Reviews tagging 'Dementia'

Lessons from the Crematory Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (Hardback) - Common by Caitlin Doughty

39 reviews

angorarabbit's review against another edition

dark funny hopeful informative lighthearted reflective sad slow-paced

3.5

Context:  I have been following Ms Doughty’s YouTube channel for a few years now, it’s about time I read her first book. 

 

This is mainly a memoir and I am not qualified to judge Ms Doughty’s life. Her writing style is bright and breezy even when talking about serious things. That is not to say that she makes light of her topics, she absolutely does not. She sounds like the type of funeral director I wish my mother had talked to when choosing the casket for my grandfather. 

 

There has been many deaths in my life, human and non-human animals. And I have been watching the videos so the message of the book was something I was familiar with already. I can see that it would be very helpful for those who are having their first encounter with the US funeral industry. 

 

One of my fears about death is the mess someone or other will have to clean up. I would be happy if my cats could eat not just my eyeballs but the rest of me as well, leaving a nice clean skeleton to put in some anatomy lab somewhere. While it does not seem like putting bodies in the forest for the bear, wolf, and mountain lion to consume willt be feasible (at least not legally) in the near future, I hope  Ms Doughty and others will make a future in the US where loved ones are not pressured to go into debt while their grief is still fresh and where everyone can grieve as they need too.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child death, Drug abuse, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Gore, Medical content, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Suicide, Dementia, Cannibalism, Death of parent, Blood, and Death

Moderate: Car accident

Graphic descriptions of the process of cremation, embalming, and other funeral practices.

veeples's review against another edition

emotional funny informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

This has been one of my favorite reads all year, hands down. I’ve followed Caitlin Doughty on her YouTube channel for years and I’m so glad I got around to listening to this book. Caitlin’s humor shines through that adds a bit of lightness to such heavy material, but not inappropriately so. I enjoyed seeing her journey in her relationship to death and her reflections on others’ who appear in the book and their own relationship with death. I’ve always had an appreciation for what she stands for in regards to agency in dying and opening up a conversation about death, and reading this has only deepened that.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Suicide attempt, Child death, Grief, Medical content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Death, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Car accident, Dementia, Abortion, Cancer, and Cannibalism

harrimyers's review against another edition

challenging dark informative reflective medium-paced

4.25

currently placed at 4.25 but definitely could move to 4.5. a very good, concise overview of both the american death industry, but also how the western world views death in general. the formatting was brilliant and this book has taught me so much about the death industry that i either hadn’t even stopped to consider or hadn’t known at all. it was a very interesting look at how the death industry in america has directly warped people’s views of death and their relationships with their own mortality. doughty’s personal experiences are fascinating, if slightly… concerning at times. her stories from the crematorium were the most engaging part of this book and how the author links these to her past childhood experiences with death and to philosophical and cultural views of death was highly impressive. at times, the tone felt a little too… casual? but i suppose that part of this comes down to doughty’s mission to demistify death and part because this book was made to be engaging to read. however, with this in mind, there was a few instances where this casual tone did do a disservice to her argument, especially in regards to the size of the corpses and her brief dip into her run of the bdsm scene in hawaii. overall, this book was definitely thought provoking and has definitely demistifyed a lot about death for me (coming from someone who often already considers death to be an important thing to be conscious about) as well as making me stop and think very carefully about what i want to happen to me

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Medical content, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Suicide, Blood, Cancer, Terminal illness, Child death, and Dementia

Moderate: Alcoholism, Car accident, Drug abuse, Gun violence, Addiction, Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Miscarriage, and Fatphobia

Minor: Cultural appropriation and Colonisation

alicroz34's review against another edition

dark funny informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

This book is full of really excellent, extremely dark information. It does, however, very much read like someone's first book. It hits its stride after the first quarter or so. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Medical content, Child death, Grief, and Death

Moderate: Sexism, Injury/Injury detail, Excrement, Blood, Addiction, Miscarriage, Dementia, Cannibalism, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Racial slurs, Addiction, Sexism, Racism, and Misogyny

ehamlett's review against another edition

informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death of parent, Child death, Medical content, and Death

Moderate: Grief

Minor: Blood, Animal death, and Dementia

apoppyinthewind's review against another edition

dark emotional funny informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0

I enjoyed this one though it is a heavier read. If you're up for reading some rather vivid details about cremation and the completely natural processes our bodies go through when we die then yes, check this book out. I appreciated the honest & humorous way the author discusses death, it's refreshing and makes me wish that death could be talked about so openly in general. I listened to the audiobook and having the author do the reading made it one of the best audiobooks I've had the pleasure to listen to.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Grief, Blood, Cancer, Child death, Car accident, Death, Medical content, Suicide, and Dementia

just_jeffrey0597's review against another edition

informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

Very informative and leads to a thought provoking experience about death and dying in American society 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Cancer, Cannibalism, Death, Grief, Death of parent, Child death, Dementia, Addiction, Drug use, and Drug abuse

cadence99's review against another edition

dark emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

2.5

What I liked:
•the discussion of death practices in various cultures 
•the authors personal musings on how best to manage the image and processing of death

What I didn’t like:
•chapters feel a bit disjointed in their themes
•the repeated use of race as a descriptor for ONLY non-white people when it is irrelevant to the narrative of the story being told
•pretty gross anti-fat comments, primarily in one particular section where she talks about her coworker declaring that despite the medical examiners determination to the contrary, the person MUST have died of a heart attack from being so fat and “This is why you can’t be fat!”- in addition to describing in great detail how fat bodies smell worse, but then dismissing the coworkers comments as “just fact” (even though he is literally ignoring fact by assuming the mans cause of death is not the one determined by the examiners professional assessment)
• in the same scene as above, repeatedly bringing up how her coworkers continually mistakenly say the person is Mexican, despite him being Salvadoran 
•irrelevant added story where a coworker says they should fire bomb the city of San Francisco because it is a “hell pit”

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Medical content, Medical trauma, Miscarriage, Suicide attempt, Cancer, Car accident, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Body horror, Cannibalism, Chronic illness, Fire/Fire injury, Gun violence, Infertility, Death, Death of parent, Drug abuse, Ableism, Gore, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Pregnancy, Suicide, Terminal illness, Abortion, Blood, Dementia, Racism, Addiction, and Child death

rhi_reading's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative medium-paced

3.5

A frank and honest look at the death industry in the US, this book is a Frankenstein’s monster of memoir, manifesto, and general musings on death and mortality that doesn’t shy away from the gory details. If you’ve currently got a newborn baby, I’d recommend skipping the chapter on infant cremation. 

I awarded the book 3.5 because while the subject matter was interesting, the prose was a little over-written and quippy for my taste. The author’s breeziness around morbid topics is a key feature of the book that does benefit the text overall, but there are times when she would have benefited from drawing back a little and letting the actual topic at hand speak for itself instead of trying to cram in a pithy observation or half-hearted joke. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gore, Dementia, Medical trauma, Blood, Suicide attempt, Suicidal thoughts, Death of parent, Medical content, Injury/Injury detail, Grief, Child death, Death, Suicide, and Miscarriage

leweylibrary's review against another edition

dark emotional funny informative reflective sad medium-paced

4.75

I really, really want to give this 5 stars solely because of how much I enjoyed it and learned from it that I'm going to think about for a long time to come. But there were just a few parts that didn't age well and read as a bit offensive, so those sat funny with me.

Overall this book is a lot of morbid, informative fun! I feel like it's made me think about death and dying in an entirely different way--I already caught myself while watching the new Hunger Games prequel thinking about the dead bodies of the fallen tributes and how decomposed they must have been lol. It also connected some dots for me about past experiences concerning death. I had always thought I was uncomfortable with the first funeral I ever went to just because it was my first funeral, but I think I really was uncomfortable with the unnatural-ness of that funeral, how my great aunt didn't look like her anymore and she didn't look...dead enough to be dead.

I really want an updated version of this book--surely there are more "green" burial options now 10 years later? I also went ahead and put holds on all of the author's other books. Not only do I love the subject matter she focuses on, but I love her writing. She reminds me of Jenny Lawson with how deep and personal she can get but then also crack a weird, inappropriate joke in the next breath lol. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death of parent, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Child death, Injury/Injury detail, Grief, Body horror, Cannibalism, Death, Blood, Suicide attempt, and Medical trauma

Moderate: Mental illness and Dementia

Minor: Cancer, Addiction, Drug abuse, Terminal illness, Alcoholism, and Chronic illness