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princeofmushrooms's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
An unfinished essay I wrote on this book:
Sick Kids in Love by Hannah Moskowitz is a novel about two chronically ill teens Isabel and Sasha, who meet each other in an infusion center. They spark love in similar experiences that no one else seems to understand. If you want to be an ally to the disabled community, this book is definitely worth the read. Sick Kids in Love made me feel seen; let me tell you why.
Sick Kids in Love by Hannah Moskowitz is a novel about two chronically ill teens Isabel and Sasha, who meet each other in an infusion center. They spark love in similar experiences that no one else seems to understand. If you want to be an ally to the disabled community, this book is definitely worth the read. Sick Kids in Love made me feel seen; let me tell you why.
About halfway through the book, Isabel talks to Sasha about her fear of faking. She is afraid that she manifested her sickness as a child. Sasha makes a great point that brings me to tears every time I read it. "You think I'm going to think it's weird that you dreamed about being sick? Honey, nobody took care of you. Why would you have dreamed about anything else?" I scribbled down my immediate reaction in the margins, "So I'm not crazy for finding comfort in sickness? I like hospitals because I know I'll [hopefully] be taken care of there? It all makes so much sense now. I can't believe it was really that simple all along. I thought I was alone all this time. I'm so relieved to find out that I'm not the only one. This scene just makes me so hopeful. I'm not crazy. I'm not alone. It's normal to feel this way and have these dreams. Other people have them too. We will find strength in unity, if nothing else. Thank you, Sasha."
Isabel is constantly invalidating herself. She says, "'When I say that I'm not like you, it's not because I think there's something wrong with being like you. It's because I am so afraid that someone's going to accuse me of exaggerating to be like you.'" judgment is a huge problem from both people inside the community and people outside of it. The preconceived ideas of others slowly infiltrate our minds causing us to be harsher on ourselves. We constantly wonder if we're ever sick enough to get the help we deserve. "I don't want to be, like… like stealing the experience of people who actually can't do anything because maybe I just don't understand how much pain is normal,"
The chronic illness Olympics is an even bigger issue which was addressed beautifully in this novel "I don't know why It's important for us to establish some hierarchy of who's sicker than who." With invisible illnesses, it's even harder to be accepted. "I know my dad doesn't think of me as a sick person. Why should he? I'm out living life. I'm not coughing up blood or fainting." Isabel says. The dream we first discussed reflects the negatives of a priority-based healthcare system; operating on the idea that acute symptoms are more deserving of treatment than chronic ones. "I had this dream that I was in the hospital, and people were just taking care of me, and no one thought I didn't deserve to be there." Too often, we ignore our bodies' messages to uphold the thought that someone else has it worse. I firmly believe that it doesn't matter if you're drowning in two feet of water or ten because you are still drowning. Just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean you don't have it bad.
Throughout the book, Sasha helps Isabel in changing her view of herself. While Isabel is still feeling inadequate he starts pointing out her symptoms "you have an illness, and it might not have caused your leg to fall off or your spine to break in half, but your hands are all swollen, and your knee is next to me here, and I can feel how hot your knee is," Then he validates "even if you looked completely normal, even if your knee was… knee-temperature, that doesn't mean you're healthy, necessarily, because invisible illnesses are a thing. I look fine most of the time. Stunning, in fact. C'mon, you're a doctor's kid! You volunteer at the hospital! You know this." Yet she continues to invalidate herself. "Yeah, but…" "'You just said it yourself,' he says gently. 'You're not an exception'"
A common experience among the chronically ill community is the major disappointment after your tests come back fine. "'My test results were really good,' I say. 'Everything came back normal.' He sighs. 'Well. That's really frustrating.' And just like that, I'm crying. 'Y-yeah. It is.'" This reaction to technically good results tends to confuse healthy folks, typically resulting in a 'You don't want to have XYZ or 'This is good. It means you're okay' when that isn't the case. It is so much better to know what the problem is and work to fix it than still be in pain without an explanation. Unfortunately this is where capitalism comes in and screws patients over. We don’t want to admit it, but doctors are taught to treat, not cure. It is much more lucrative to put a sick person on medication to cope than to fix the root cause entirely. It’s like using a bail bucket when you could easily plug the hole. It’s a temporary solution with a perpetual cycle.
Sometimes the judgment from others can be exceedingly hurtful. For example, I've had people tell me that if they were in my position, they'd kill themselves. While I understand they had good intentions, words like this are harmful. Another major issue is 'inspiration porn.' The idea that disabled people are inspiring or brave just for existing.
Sometimes it feels like fighting a battle you'll always lose. "You can't live like that. There's only so much you can carry quietly by yourself, so you turn an illness into a list of rules instead of a list of symptoms, and you take pills that don't help, and you do the stretches, and you think instead of feeling. You think." because if you feel you won't be able to take it.
Chronically ill people have a skewed perception of pain because we are used to it. We know it must hurt, but that's all we've ever known, so how do we draw the line between our normal and our abnormal? "They ask me if it's painful, and I say yes because I know intellectually it must be," Isabel says. If we answered truthfully about how much we’re suffering, people would say it’s all a lie because we haven’t gone mad yet. We work extra hard to mask our pain because even if we showed it, people would still think it wasn't real. At school, Isabel calls Sasha and says, "My wrists are killing me, and my neck hurts, and I'm so fucking tired, and I just… it's not a good day. I'm supposed to be in class right now, taking notes on this presentation and I feel like my fingers are about to snap off." Yet she still goes back to class because it's better to pretend that we're okay than disappoint everyone around us.
On the front cover of this book it says “they don’t die in this one”. That may seem like a funny little comment, but it really is unique in that sense. The vast majority of media portraying sick people ends in their demise. The fault in our stars: Augustus Waters, succumbs to his cancer. And if we’re not dead then we overcome our sickness or disability because ‘your illness doesn’t define you’. The Honest Truth: Mark, a 12-year old boy with cancer climbs a mountain with his dog. Avatar: Jake Sully, a paraplegic finally runs again (majestically might I add) despite having zero physical therapy to prepare him for it. Wicked: Nessarose, asked to be cured by her sister’s magic.
ris_stitches's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
kerianne0's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
fast-paced
3.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness and Ableism
eelund's review
funny
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
_shelbyj's review
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
gutlessw's review
5.0
This book is THAT book for me. I’m chronically ill and have a hard time finding books with good representation. But this book was one of those that had me smiling while reading
laura_cs's review against another edition
5.0
I received an ARC of this title from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Like "The Fault in Our Stars" but hate, you know, the ending? Or any of those angsty books where the sick kid dies? Well, then have I got some good news for you: "Sick Kids In Love" is the book you want to read!
Isabel Garfinkel is 16 and has Rheumatoid Arthritis. She also has one rule in life: No Dating. She tells herself it's easier, for herself, for the other person, if she doesn't date. No one who is healthy knows what it's like to be sick. Not when she looks healthy. That is, until the day that she happens to encounter a boy named Sasha at the hospital, who has a disease she can't spell or pronounce. It was supposed to be an almost once-in-a-lifetime encounter, and trust me she did the math to prove it. But somehow their paths keep crossing, and Isabel has to wonder if maybe her number one rule is worth breaking.
A fantastic #OwnVoices romance featuring chronic illness, "Sick Kids In Love" discusses bluntly about life managing pain and symptoms (especially the invisible symptoms), navigating an world meant for the healthy and able, and interactions with people who are healthy. In addition, both Isabel and Sasha undergo growth as individuals and as they begin a romance with each other, learning how to be a partner, and how to overcome hurdles life throws at them.
Like "The Fault in Our Stars" but hate, you know, the ending? Or any of those angsty books where the sick kid dies? Well, then have I got some good news for you: "Sick Kids In Love" is the book you want to read!
Isabel Garfinkel is 16 and has Rheumatoid Arthritis. She also has one rule in life: No Dating. She tells herself it's easier, for herself, for the other person, if she doesn't date. No one who is healthy knows what it's like to be sick. Not when she looks healthy. That is, until the day that she happens to encounter a boy named Sasha at the hospital, who has a disease she can't spell or pronounce. It was supposed to be an almost once-in-a-lifetime encounter, and trust me she did the math to prove it. But somehow their paths keep crossing, and Isabel has to wonder if maybe her number one rule is worth breaking.
A fantastic #OwnVoices romance featuring chronic illness, "Sick Kids In Love" discusses bluntly about life managing pain and symptoms (especially the invisible symptoms), navigating an world meant for the healthy and able, and interactions with people who are healthy. In addition, both Isabel and Sasha undergo growth as individuals and as they begin a romance with each other, learning how to be a partner, and how to overcome hurdles life throws at them.
abinthebooks's review
3.0
*3.5
I think a lot of people believe that 3 stars is a bad rating, but I don't. I think to me, it means the book was good while I read it, but it wasn't memorable. And that's really what this book is to me.
I enjoyed it. It probably would have been a 4 star but the last 100 pages were a but iffy for me.
I think one of my big issues with this was the more telling than showing. And when I tell you there was a lot of showing, I mean A LOT of showing. It was almost like I was reading a movie, because our main character Isabel was telling us what happened with her and Sasha. It felt like a movie, almost like a montage.
The relationship between Sasha and Isabel was pretty mature, and they fought and they grew from it and they worked out their issues. Isabel and Sasha both matured as characters so I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed the characters, the plot, and everything else, I just thought it was a fine book. Not something I'd reread, but it was fun while I reread it.
I think a lot of people believe that 3 stars is a bad rating, but I don't. I think to me, it means the book was good while I read it, but it wasn't memorable. And that's really what this book is to me.
I enjoyed it. It probably would have been a 4 star but the last 100 pages were a but iffy for me.
I think one of my big issues with this was the more telling than showing. And when I tell you there was a lot of showing, I mean A LOT of showing. It was almost like I was reading a movie, because our main character Isabel was telling us what happened with her and Sasha. It felt like a movie, almost like a montage.
The relationship between Sasha and Isabel was pretty mature, and they fought and they grew from it and they worked out their issues. Isabel and Sasha both matured as characters so I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed the characters, the plot, and everything else, I just thought it was a fine book. Not something I'd reread, but it was fun while I reread it.