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3.59 AVERAGE
3.59 AVERAGE
I'm a sucker for the Bigfoot stories.
They're simple, yet fun.
They're simple, yet fun.
The Harry Dresden story was worth the price of the book all by itself. The other stories were gravy. Not a real stinker in the bunch.
Of this collection of short stories, I only read Jim Butcher's I Was a Teenage Bigfoot. I was thrilled to learn we were going to see Strength of a River on his Shoulders again. The Bigfoot character was so much fun in B is for Bigfoot. A little more action and suspense in this one, and a fun read. I suspect we'll see more of Irwin as he grows and learns more of his nature, and perhaps meets his father. I'd be interested to see that.
Now it's back to Proven Guilty, where there's a big battle brewing!
Now it's back to Proven Guilty, where there's a big battle brewing!
Well the good reads app lost my review... Grrr... So this will be short.
4.5 stars for.V Plates by Kelley Armstrong... This one was in Nick's Pov and it was great. I love the Women of the Other world series and this was a great edition worth reading (as great as all the Clay & Elena and Karl & Hope stories).
4.5 stars for A day in the life by Sherilyn Kenyon... This is one great author. This short story had me guessing until the end.
4.5 stars for.V Plates by Kelley Armstrong... This one was in Nick's Pov and it was great. I love the Women of the Other world series and this was a great edition worth reading (as great as all the Clay & Elena and Karl & Hope stories).
4.5 stars for A day in the life by Sherilyn Kenyon... This is one great author. This short story had me guessing until the end.
Harry goes to the Northwoods of Wisconsin with some Bigfoot hunters and meets River Shoulders who is worried about his son, who is only half Bigfoot and in boarding school in Chicago. (I didn't remember this first part)
However, the boarding school part was familiar. 4 stars
However, the boarding school part was familiar. 4 stars
This anthology is supposed to be humorous horror. I have a message for [a:Kevin J. Anderson|4845|Kevin J. Anderson|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1215310030p2/4845.jpg]: grossness is not nearly enough for humor. I hope volume two was funnier (I haven't read it yet), but if it was as bad as this one, the series should have been a singleton.
The entire reason I skipped ahead to volume three is "I Was a Teenage Bigfoot" by [a:Jim Butcher|10746|Jim Butcher|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1205261964p2/10746.jpg]. Happily, it was worth reading. There was some humor, as is the case with all of the Dresden Files fiction. It wasn't the funniest of Butcher's stories, but the setup was good. Still, it's a Dresden Files story, and that's enough for a 4 out of 5.
I probably would have appreciated "Blood Red Greens" by [a:Joel A. Sutherland|1163804|Joel A. Sutherland|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1273104573p2/1163804.jpg] much more if I played golf. As it is, I skimmed the description of the main characters' golf game on the first day of the zombie apocalypse and read for everything else. Not bad, not great. I'll give this one a 3 out of 5, acknowledging that I'm not the prime target audience.
"V Plates" by [a:Kelley Armstrong|7581|Kelley Armstrong|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1199068298p2/7581.jpg] has a clichéd; setup: Noah is tired of being twitted about his virginity and wants to "fix it," so Nick agrees to take him to a brothel. (I thought there were supposed to be problems with control where young werewolves and sex were concerned? Maybe I'm confusing my mythologies.) Anyway, of course it can't be that easy, so there's trouble. The trouble is unfunny. This from an experienced author working with established characters who have potential? No. 1 out of 5.
[a:Christopher Golden|4522|Christopher Golden|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1207236514p2/4522.jpg]'s "Put on a Happy Face" is about clowns and wishes. I found absolutely nothing funny at all in it. In fact, it was horrific. It wasn't badly written, though, so it gets a 3 out of 5.
"Devil's Contract" by [a:E.S. Magill|5179984|E.S. Magill|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1340147541p2/5179984.jpg] has been done before. Maybe not in an anthology, so I suppose perhaps there are non-geeks who haven't seen it done to death. But I've seen variations of it for years in various forms. Yawn. 2 out of 5.
[a:Eric James Stone|2851726|Eric James Stone|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1277141800p2/2851726.jpg]'s "Nine Tenths of the Law" was actually memorable enough that I didn't have to look it up before writing this review. That puts it ahead of the crowd. It wasn't really funny, though. There's an ironic twist, but it didn't make me laugh and, in fact, I half expected the ending. 2 out of 5.
"Scrumptious Bone Bread" by [a:Jeff Strand|207708|Jeff Strand|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1238033438p2/207708.jpg] was also memorable, but that's just because it was excessively gross. It was also one of three stories to make fun of rednecks or country people, and I have a personal standard of one stereotyped story per anthology. 1 out of 5.
[a:Mark Onspaugh|2904745|Mark Onspaugh|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "Let That Be a Lesson to You" was entirely forgettable. I just read the book today, so if I can't remember it at all, that's sad. 1 out of 5.
"Mint in Box" by [a:Mike Baron|14024|Mike Baron|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] was, on the other hand, memorable. It reminded me of the horror comics I used to borrow from my older cousin, Shannon. It was a dark, depressing cautionary tale - or, at least, that's how I read it. I didn't see any humor at all. 2 out of 5, because of the humor fail and the excessive nastiness.
[a:J.G. Faherty|4265362|J.G. Faherty|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1305607086p2/4265362.jpg]'s "The Great Zombie Invasion of 1979" was the worst of the anti-country stories. Of course everybody out in the boondocks is a drunk, trigger-happy redneck! Gross, unfunny, goes on too long - 1 out of 5.
[a:Stephen Dorato|5179982|Stephen Dorato|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "Dating After the Apocalypse" fared a bit better. For one thing, I remember it and I'm not groaning. I didn't ever laugh out loud or anything, but I did smile once or twice. That's about as good as it gets in this collection. 3 out of 5.
"Typecast" by [a:Jeff Ryan|1020603|Jeff Ryan|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] introduces us to a truly nasty casting director and her put-upon assistant as they go out for a coffee break while casting a serial killer. The casting director must ruthlessly "cast" everybody she sees, revealing much more about herself than anyone else. I have no trouble remembering the story but I didn't find it very funny. Ironic, yes, but irony alone doesn't create humor. 2 of 5.
I didn't even notice [a:Mike Resnick|54475|Mike Resnick|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1324507257p2/54475.jpg]'s name before - odd. Anyway, his and [a:Lezli Robyn|3154018|Lezli Robyn|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s story "Making the Cut" was a breath of fresh air. There was genuine, good-natured humor in it. I laughed. 5 out of 5.
"Acknowledgments" by [a:Will Ludwigsen|773420|Will Ludwigsen|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1332907985p2/773420.jpg] is written as, well, acknowledgments for a book. It's more entertaining than most acknowledgement sections, but that isn't saying much. 3 out of 5.
[a:Heather Graham|30819|Heather Graham|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1258112542p2/30819.jpg]'s "Mannequin" is one I have no trouble remembering. It was creepy as hell, but totally not funny. I don't know why it was chosen for this anthology. I can't give her better than a 3 out of 5.
"Short Term" by [a:Daniel Pyle|2982216|Daniel Pyle|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1280204024p2/2982216.jpg] is, again, highly memorable. It's disturbing and unfunny to me. Serial killers just aren't funny, even when they do have almost no short-term memory any more. 1 out of 5.
[a:Nina Kiriki Hoffman|12991|Nina Kiriki Hoffman|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1278864412p2/12991.jpg]'s "Distressed Travelers" is based on a highly original concept. I'd love to see what she did with it in another context. I could actually see the humor in this story, even if I didn't get any big laughs. It was amusing. 4 out of 5.
"Bayou Brawl" by [a:L.A. Banks|1356336|L.A. Banks|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1319121082p2/1356336.jpg] has to take another poke at rednecks early on. It isn't as bad as the other two, at least, but I was sensitized by the time I got to this story. Then it moves on and seems to be a poor excuse for setting up a love triangle between a human woman, a male werewolf, and a male vampire. Anita Blake's been there and done that a few dozen times now, Banks - there's no shock value in it any more. There wasn't much humor in it unless you look at it on a meta-level (UFO versus terrestrial spookies) and even though - blah. 2 out of 5.
[a:John Alfred Taylor|4020322|John Alfred Taylor|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "The Steeple People" gives us demons selling steeples with resident imps. Okay, that's a little bit funny (to an irreligious person, anyway). The story didn't live up to the setup, though. 3 out of 5.
"For Sale" by [a:David Sakmyster|1112860|David Sakmyster|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1284736092p2/1112860.jpg] is couched as a real estate flyer. I don't think I've seen anything done quite like that before, but the property itself is a clicé. I'll give Sakmyster 3 out of 5 for effort and originality.
[a:Norman Prentiss|1346653|Norman Prentiss|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1309549281p2/1346653.jpg]'s "The Man Who Could Not Be Bothered to Die" was just gross. At least he avoided World of Warcraft jokes, but otherwise, there wasn't any reason given for the main character to avoid dying and without one, I couldn't believe it. 2 out of 5.
"The Last Demon" by [a:Don D'Ammassa|353528|Don D'Ammassa|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] was actually somewhat cute. Ogerak the Off-putting escapes Hell and doesn't find the mortal realms incredibly welcoming. 4 out of 5.
[a:Adrian Ludens|2937732|Adrian Ludens|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]' "Choose Your Own" is based on those "Choose Your Own..." stories that were apparently popular at one time (I missed out on them). You don't actually chose your own path in the story, but the choices are there and it's obvious which ones the main character made. I didn't find it funny, but at least I cared what was happening, which is more than I can say for many of the stories in this collection. 3 out of 5.
"Smoke and Mirrorballs" by [a:Chris Abbey|5179983|Chris Abbey|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] is a parody of Dancing With the Stars, with Dracula, Van Helsing, The Mummy, and the like thrown in as contestants. It was mildly entertaining at the end, although the gratuitous gore wasn't funny. 3 out of 5.
[a:D.L. Snell|1241378|D.L. Snell|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1286392859p2/1241378.jpg]'s "BRIANS!" takes a good swipe at Twilight as well as self-published authors. It was macabre yet funnier than most of the rest of the book. 4 out of 5.
"Still Life" by [a:Ken Lillie-Paetz|1139420|Ken Lillie-Paetz|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1282513667p2/1139420.jpg] had too much set-up for a failed punchline. 1 out of 5.
[a:Sherrilyn Kenyon|4430|Sherrilyn Kenyon|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1343159156p2/4430.jpg]'s "A Day in the Life" gives us an editor unrealistically celebrating the death of her biggest-selling author. I don't care how difficult the author was, there's just no way the editor would be celebrating the death of the author who made her career. There wasn't any funny in it, but the failed suspension-of-belief check ruined the story anyway. 1 out of 5.
"Old MacDonald Had an Animal Farm" by [a:Lisa Morton|345026|Lisa Morton|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1320349809p2/345026.jpg] introduces us to an idiot. That's the only way I can describe the main character. Okay, characters in stories make mistakes because that drives the plot. But there wasn't any humor in his mistakes, nor in the rest of the plot. It was all dark and depressing. 1 out of 5.
[a:Brad C. Hodson|4387361|Brad C. Hodson|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "Two for Transylvania" starts off okay, with Dracula and Van Helsing teaming up together to scam villagers. It's a silly idea, but you go with it. It would make a decent skit. 3 out of 5.
"The Four Horsemen Reunion Tour: An Apocumentary" by [a:Lucien Soulban|53306|Lucien Soulban|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] wasn't particularly funny or macabre or anything else. Of course, I find most rockumentaries somewhat boring, and it seemed like a good send-up of them, so it has that going for it. I'll give it a 3 out of 5 for that alone.
Overall, I wouldn't have read it if I weren't determined to finish and review it. The things I do for you people! I certainly won't be reading it again.
The entire reason I skipped ahead to volume three is "I Was a Teenage Bigfoot" by [a:Jim Butcher|10746|Jim Butcher|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1205261964p2/10746.jpg]. Happily, it was worth reading. There was some humor, as is the case with all of the Dresden Files fiction. It wasn't the funniest of Butcher's stories, but the setup was good. Still, it's a Dresden Files story, and that's enough for a 4 out of 5.
I probably would have appreciated "Blood Red Greens" by [a:Joel A. Sutherland|1163804|Joel A. Sutherland|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1273104573p2/1163804.jpg] much more if I played golf. As it is, I skimmed the description of the main characters' golf game on the first day of the zombie apocalypse and read for everything else. Not bad, not great. I'll give this one a 3 out of 5, acknowledging that I'm not the prime target audience.
"V Plates" by [a:Kelley Armstrong|7581|Kelley Armstrong|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1199068298p2/7581.jpg] has a clichéd; setup: Noah is tired of being twitted about his virginity and wants to "fix it," so Nick agrees to take him to a brothel. (I thought there were supposed to be problems with control where young werewolves and sex were concerned? Maybe I'm confusing my mythologies.) Anyway, of course it can't be that easy, so there's trouble. The trouble is unfunny. This from an experienced author working with established characters who have potential? No. 1 out of 5.
[a:Christopher Golden|4522|Christopher Golden|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1207236514p2/4522.jpg]'s "Put on a Happy Face" is about clowns and wishes. I found absolutely nothing funny at all in it. In fact, it was horrific. It wasn't badly written, though, so it gets a 3 out of 5.
"Devil's Contract" by [a:E.S. Magill|5179984|E.S. Magill|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1340147541p2/5179984.jpg] has been done before. Maybe not in an anthology, so I suppose perhaps there are non-geeks who haven't seen it done to death. But I've seen variations of it for years in various forms. Yawn. 2 out of 5.
[a:Eric James Stone|2851726|Eric James Stone|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1277141800p2/2851726.jpg]'s "Nine Tenths of the Law" was actually memorable enough that I didn't have to look it up before writing this review. That puts it ahead of the crowd. It wasn't really funny, though. There's an ironic twist, but it didn't make me laugh and, in fact, I half expected the ending. 2 out of 5.
"Scrumptious Bone Bread" by [a:Jeff Strand|207708|Jeff Strand|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1238033438p2/207708.jpg] was also memorable, but that's just because it was excessively gross. It was also one of three stories to make fun of rednecks or country people, and I have a personal standard of one stereotyped story per anthology. 1 out of 5.
[a:Mark Onspaugh|2904745|Mark Onspaugh|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "Let That Be a Lesson to You" was entirely forgettable. I just read the book today, so if I can't remember it at all, that's sad. 1 out of 5.
"Mint in Box" by [a:Mike Baron|14024|Mike Baron|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] was, on the other hand, memorable. It reminded me of the horror comics I used to borrow from my older cousin, Shannon. It was a dark, depressing cautionary tale - or, at least, that's how I read it. I didn't see any humor at all. 2 out of 5, because of the humor fail and the excessive nastiness.
[a:J.G. Faherty|4265362|J.G. Faherty|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1305607086p2/4265362.jpg]'s "The Great Zombie Invasion of 1979" was the worst of the anti-country stories. Of course everybody out in the boondocks is a drunk, trigger-happy redneck! Gross, unfunny, goes on too long - 1 out of 5.
[a:Stephen Dorato|5179982|Stephen Dorato|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "Dating After the Apocalypse" fared a bit better. For one thing, I remember it and I'm not groaning. I didn't ever laugh out loud or anything, but I did smile once or twice. That's about as good as it gets in this collection. 3 out of 5.
"Typecast" by [a:Jeff Ryan|1020603|Jeff Ryan|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] introduces us to a truly nasty casting director and her put-upon assistant as they go out for a coffee break while casting a serial killer. The casting director must ruthlessly "cast" everybody she sees, revealing much more about herself than anyone else. I have no trouble remembering the story but I didn't find it very funny. Ironic, yes, but irony alone doesn't create humor. 2 of 5.
I didn't even notice [a:Mike Resnick|54475|Mike Resnick|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1324507257p2/54475.jpg]'s name before - odd. Anyway, his and [a:Lezli Robyn|3154018|Lezli Robyn|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s story "Making the Cut" was a breath of fresh air. There was genuine, good-natured humor in it. I laughed. 5 out of 5.
"Acknowledgments" by [a:Will Ludwigsen|773420|Will Ludwigsen|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1332907985p2/773420.jpg] is written as, well, acknowledgments for a book. It's more entertaining than most acknowledgement sections, but that isn't saying much. 3 out of 5.
[a:Heather Graham|30819|Heather Graham|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1258112542p2/30819.jpg]'s "Mannequin" is one I have no trouble remembering. It was creepy as hell, but totally not funny. I don't know why it was chosen for this anthology. I can't give her better than a 3 out of 5.
"Short Term" by [a:Daniel Pyle|2982216|Daniel Pyle|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1280204024p2/2982216.jpg] is, again, highly memorable. It's disturbing and unfunny to me. Serial killers just aren't funny, even when they do have almost no short-term memory any more. 1 out of 5.
[a:Nina Kiriki Hoffman|12991|Nina Kiriki Hoffman|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1278864412p2/12991.jpg]'s "Distressed Travelers" is based on a highly original concept. I'd love to see what she did with it in another context. I could actually see the humor in this story, even if I didn't get any big laughs. It was amusing. 4 out of 5.
"Bayou Brawl" by [a:L.A. Banks|1356336|L.A. Banks|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1319121082p2/1356336.jpg] has to take another poke at rednecks early on. It isn't as bad as the other two, at least, but I was sensitized by the time I got to this story. Then it moves on and seems to be a poor excuse for setting up a love triangle between a human woman, a male werewolf, and a male vampire. Anita Blake's been there and done that a few dozen times now, Banks - there's no shock value in it any more. There wasn't much humor in it unless you look at it on a meta-level (UFO versus terrestrial spookies) and even though - blah. 2 out of 5.
[a:John Alfred Taylor|4020322|John Alfred Taylor|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "The Steeple People" gives us demons selling steeples with resident imps. Okay, that's a little bit funny (to an irreligious person, anyway). The story didn't live up to the setup, though. 3 out of 5.
"For Sale" by [a:David Sakmyster|1112860|David Sakmyster|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1284736092p2/1112860.jpg] is couched as a real estate flyer. I don't think I've seen anything done quite like that before, but the property itself is a clicé. I'll give Sakmyster 3 out of 5 for effort and originality.
[a:Norman Prentiss|1346653|Norman Prentiss|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1309549281p2/1346653.jpg]'s "The Man Who Could Not Be Bothered to Die" was just gross. At least he avoided World of Warcraft jokes, but otherwise, there wasn't any reason given for the main character to avoid dying and without one, I couldn't believe it. 2 out of 5.
"The Last Demon" by [a:Don D'Ammassa|353528|Don D'Ammassa|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] was actually somewhat cute. Ogerak the Off-putting escapes Hell and doesn't find the mortal realms incredibly welcoming. 4 out of 5.
[a:Adrian Ludens|2937732|Adrian Ludens|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]' "Choose Your Own" is based on those "Choose Your Own..." stories that were apparently popular at one time (I missed out on them). You don't actually chose your own path in the story, but the choices are there and it's obvious which ones the main character made. I didn't find it funny, but at least I cared what was happening, which is more than I can say for many of the stories in this collection. 3 out of 5.
"Smoke and Mirrorballs" by [a:Chris Abbey|5179983|Chris Abbey|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] is a parody of Dancing With the Stars, with Dracula, Van Helsing, The Mummy, and the like thrown in as contestants. It was mildly entertaining at the end, although the gratuitous gore wasn't funny. 3 out of 5.
[a:D.L. Snell|1241378|D.L. Snell|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1286392859p2/1241378.jpg]'s "BRIANS!" takes a good swipe at Twilight as well as self-published authors. It was macabre yet funnier than most of the rest of the book. 4 out of 5.
"Still Life" by [a:Ken Lillie-Paetz|1139420|Ken Lillie-Paetz|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1282513667p2/1139420.jpg] had too much set-up for a failed punchline. 1 out of 5.
[a:Sherrilyn Kenyon|4430|Sherrilyn Kenyon|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1343159156p2/4430.jpg]'s "A Day in the Life" gives us an editor unrealistically celebrating the death of her biggest-selling author. I don't care how difficult the author was, there's just no way the editor would be celebrating the death of the author who made her career. There wasn't any funny in it, but the failed suspension-of-belief check ruined the story anyway. 1 out of 5.
"Old MacDonald Had an Animal Farm" by [a:Lisa Morton|345026|Lisa Morton|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1320349809p2/345026.jpg] introduces us to an idiot. That's the only way I can describe the main character. Okay, characters in stories make mistakes because that drives the plot. But there wasn't any humor in his mistakes, nor in the rest of the plot. It was all dark and depressing. 1 out of 5.
[a:Brad C. Hodson|4387361|Brad C. Hodson|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "Two for Transylvania" starts off okay, with Dracula and Van Helsing teaming up together to scam villagers. It's a silly idea, but you go with it. It would make a decent skit. 3 out of 5.
"The Four Horsemen Reunion Tour: An Apocumentary" by [a:Lucien Soulban|53306|Lucien Soulban|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] wasn't particularly funny or macabre or anything else. Of course, I find most rockumentaries somewhat boring, and it seemed like a good send-up of them, so it has that going for it. I'll give it a 3 out of 5 for that alone.
Overall, I wouldn't have read it if I weren't determined to finish and review it. The things I do for you people! I certainly won't be reading it again.
dark
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
Third in the Blood Lite series of humorous and/or creepy horror short stories.
Be sure to read the authors' bios at the end. There's one in particular that's an absolute riot!
Series:
"I was a Teenage Bigfoot" (Dresden Files, 7.25)
"V Plates" (Women of the Otherworld, 12.5???)
The Stories
Jim Butcher's "I was a Teenage Bigfoot" finds Harry Dresden checking on a friend's son in boarding school who is supposedly suffering from mono…hah! Still, Harry does find a friend.
This story is the first of a trilogy of short Bigfoot stories by Butcher.
Joel A. Sutherland's "Blood-Red Greens" reflects a passion for the greens. The golf greens that is. It really is too funny the lengths to which two men will go to enjoy their game of golf.
Kelley Armstrong's "V Plates" is another funny one although I think Armstrong was channeling Keri Arthur on the first half of this one. Seems Noah doesn't cotton to bein' teased about his virgin status and Reese and Nick are gonna help that poor boy out. Just, well, it just wasn't supposed to go quite like this.
Christopher Golden's "Put On a Happy Face" is all about clowns, so, for those of you with a fear of clowns…you probably want to read this. The first of the sad ones…and remember, be careful what you wish for.
E. S. Magill's "Devil's Contract" is too funny! A nice rip on software Terms and Conditions. Accept or decline at your peril.
Eric James Stone's "Nine-Tenths of the Law" is a, sort of, nod to lawyers. It's a zombie-ruled world in which they went for the lawyers, the politicians, and judges. Makes it so much easier to get laws passed and judgments made. And Mr. Petrides sneaks in that possession is…Nine-Tenths of the Law…*snicker*!
Jeff Strand's "Scrumptious Bone Bread" is a creepy rip-off of Jack and the Beanstalk with a sociopathic nut case curious about bone bread and stupid enough to ask a friend to help. Well, it's just too depressing working with someone who doesn't think ahead…
Mark Onspaugh's "Let That Be a Lesson to You" is a truly nasty tale involving Amazon.com, demonology, and animal and human sacrifice. Although, since it's hurting a demon…
Mike Baron's "Mint in Box" pokes at all those collectors who buy toys and never remove them from their box. Yup, you got it! **Mint** **Still in its original box** It's both creepy and well done about a man collecting dolls, sorry…action figures…from obscure horror flicks.
J. G. Faherty's "Great Zombie Invasion of 1979" is way too funny as Faherty makes fun of dim, drunk rednecks who are gun-happy.
Stephen Dorato's "Dating After the Apocalypse" keeps you wondering as you read through the story. Then there's the ever-so creepy end….urghhhh!
Jeff Ryan's "Typecast" forces us to listen as Linda bitches through her morning about how she sees people. She can't help but see someone to — loudly — cast them as a character. Oh, man, she has no clue about manners, decency… Ya just about cheer at the end.
Mike Resnick and Lezli Robyn's "Making the Cut" is a supernatural barber shop with a wide range of supernatural clientele including poor, unhappy, worried Lamont. He feels he's letting down his 'rassling fans, but Mavis inadvertently has the answer.
Will Ludwigsen's "Acknowledgements" sends up the acknowledgements many authors write in their books, although his thanks are to all those who helped with his supernatural investigation. Nicely done and quite funny.
Heather Graham's "Mannequin" was truly creepy with a twist. Two young couples intend to spend the night at the Cantrell House. Renowned for the fate of its original owners and their murders, it's a little bit's Chucky with those mannequins all over the place. Ick…
Daniel Pyle's "Short Term" is rather gruesomely funny as this old fart, Henderson, manages to break into someone's house. Again and again and again and…
Nina Kiriki Hoffman's "Distressed Travelers" certainly puts a twist on a supernatural sucker. "Tim" loves airports for all the emotions they generate, such a harvest. Sigh… It is rather luscious how Hoffman assigns such a variety of flavors to all those feelings. Fortunately, "Tim" is a humanitarian, somewhere, inside that, whatever and "he" does humanity a favor.
L.A. Banks' "Bayou Brawl" is a brawl all right and a pretty funny story involving shifters, vampires, fae, humans, and demons up against aliens. And they're in a hurry to take care of this mess before the military gets involved! God only knows what the fae would do if the army attacked! Banks twists on vampires, werewolves, full moons, and threesomes with a touch of Marie Laveau. The end is an absolute crack-up. Talk about cooperation.
This is Banks' last story before she died. She will be missed.
John Alfred Taylor's "Steeple People" is too funny for words! A clever little business scheme with a concern for its accountant to verify its false set of books. From steeples to "roadkill" and a hijacked sprinkler system…
David Sakmyster's "For Sale" is one for all of you who has gone house hunting or sells houses. Mmm-hmmmm, a real steal…if you survive!
Norman Prentiss' "Man Who Could Not Be Bothered to Die" is just gross! Although, I do know the feeling…I'll probably just keep waiting for the latest Butcher, Armstrong, Kenyon, Mead, Singh, Harrison, Harris, Tremayne, Todd, Green, Hamilton, Phoenix and on and on and… Yup, like Tony, I'll never die…bwa-ha-ha!
Don D'Ammassa's "Last Demon" is a too funny story about Ogerak the Off-putting. A demon who escaped Hell intending to rule the world only to get there. To Earth that is. Poor baby. It'll give ya a whole new appreciation for life as we…well, suffer it.
Adrian Ludens' "A Misadventure to Call Your Own" is mostly funny, part irritating. It's one of those stories in which's you decide (from a possibility of three choices that crop up every few paragraphs) which direction the story will follow. It seems our protagonist made a bad decision last night and now he's paying for it this morning. Let's see where that body ends up.
Chris Abbey's "Smoke and Mirrorballs" is a dorky combination of Dancing with the Stars and famous characters from history and/or the classics.
D.L. Snell's "Brians!!" is so dorky that it's funny! For all the mama's boys and those of you who hate Stephanie Myers, come read this zombie fest!
Ken Lillie-Paetz's "Still Life" is two pages long and gets right to the point…unlike his artist!
Sherrilyn Kenyon's "A Day in the Life" finds Elliott Lawson hysterically happy to hysterically terrified in one short day. Let this be a lesson to book reviewers, editors, and publishers…oh, my!
Lisa Morton's "Old MacDonald Had an Animal Farm" is a quirky combination of Animal Farm, Dr. Doolittle, and I am Legend…I ain't sayin' another word…
I have to confess I think Meowsy's name is too cute…don't tell my kittens I said that!
Brad C. Hodson's "Two for Transylvania" pokes fun at the Dracula classic and the scam artists. Too bad ol' Drac didn't read Bram Stoker before starting this little scheme.
Lucien Soulban's "Four Horsemen Reunion Tour: An Apocumentary" will appeal to anyone who follows rock 'n roll documentaries.
The Cover and Title
The cover is white with a close-up of a vampire's very white chin and her black lips and nails. Licking a bloody lollipop certainly adds a certain je ne sais quoi, LOL.
Blood Lite III is the third in this ongoing series of anthologies while the subtitle (it's really the title), well, let's just say it definitely leaves an Aftertaste…
Be sure to read the authors' bios at the end. There's one in particular that's an absolute riot!
Series:
"I was a Teenage Bigfoot" (Dresden Files, 7.25)
"V Plates" (Women of the Otherworld, 12.5???)
The Stories
Jim Butcher's "I was a Teenage Bigfoot" finds Harry Dresden checking on a friend's son in boarding school who is supposedly suffering from mono…hah! Still, Harry does find a friend.
This story is the first of a trilogy of short Bigfoot stories by Butcher.
Joel A. Sutherland's "Blood-Red Greens" reflects a passion for the greens. The golf greens that is. It really is too funny the lengths to which two men will go to enjoy their game of golf.
Kelley Armstrong's "V Plates" is another funny one although I think Armstrong was channeling Keri Arthur on the first half of this one. Seems Noah doesn't cotton to bein' teased about his virgin status and Reese and Nick are gonna help that poor boy out. Just, well, it just wasn't supposed to go quite like this.
Christopher Golden's "Put On a Happy Face" is all about clowns, so, for those of you with a fear of clowns…you probably want to read this. The first of the sad ones…and remember, be careful what you wish for.
E. S. Magill's "Devil's Contract" is too funny! A nice rip on software Terms and Conditions. Accept or decline at your peril.
Eric James Stone's "Nine-Tenths of the Law" is a, sort of, nod to lawyers. It's a zombie-ruled world in which they went for the lawyers, the politicians, and judges. Makes it so much easier to get laws passed and judgments made. And Mr. Petrides sneaks in that possession is…Nine-Tenths of the Law…*snicker*!
Jeff Strand's "Scrumptious Bone Bread" is a creepy rip-off of Jack and the Beanstalk with a sociopathic nut case curious about bone bread and stupid enough to ask a friend to help. Well, it's just too depressing working with someone who doesn't think ahead…
Mark Onspaugh's "Let That Be a Lesson to You" is a truly nasty tale involving Amazon.com, demonology, and animal and human sacrifice. Although, since it's hurting a demon…
Mike Baron's "Mint in Box" pokes at all those collectors who buy toys and never remove them from their box. Yup, you got it! **Mint** **Still in its original box** It's both creepy and well done about a man collecting dolls, sorry…action figures…from obscure horror flicks.
J. G. Faherty's "Great Zombie Invasion of 1979" is way too funny as Faherty makes fun of dim, drunk rednecks who are gun-happy.
Stephen Dorato's "Dating After the Apocalypse" keeps you wondering as you read through the story. Then there's the ever-so creepy end….urghhhh!
Jeff Ryan's "Typecast" forces us to listen as Linda bitches through her morning about how she sees people. She can't help but see someone to — loudly — cast them as a character. Oh, man, she has no clue about manners, decency… Ya just about cheer at the end.
Mike Resnick and Lezli Robyn's "Making the Cut" is a supernatural barber shop with a wide range of supernatural clientele including poor, unhappy, worried Lamont. He feels he's letting down his 'rassling fans, but Mavis inadvertently has the answer.
Will Ludwigsen's "Acknowledgements" sends up the acknowledgements many authors write in their books, although his thanks are to all those who helped with his supernatural investigation. Nicely done and quite funny.
Heather Graham's "Mannequin" was truly creepy with a twist. Two young couples intend to spend the night at the Cantrell House. Renowned for the fate of its original owners and their murders, it's a little bit's Chucky with those mannequins all over the place. Ick…
Daniel Pyle's "Short Term" is rather gruesomely funny as this old fart, Henderson, manages to break into someone's house. Again and again and again and…
Nina Kiriki Hoffman's "Distressed Travelers" certainly puts a twist on a supernatural sucker. "Tim" loves airports for all the emotions they generate, such a harvest. Sigh… It is rather luscious how Hoffman assigns such a variety of flavors to all those feelings. Fortunately, "Tim" is a humanitarian, somewhere, inside that, whatever and "he" does humanity a favor.
L.A. Banks' "Bayou Brawl" is a brawl all right and a pretty funny story involving shifters, vampires, fae, humans, and demons up against aliens. And they're in a hurry to take care of this mess before the military gets involved! God only knows what the fae would do if the army attacked! Banks twists on vampires, werewolves, full moons, and threesomes with a touch of Marie Laveau. The end is an absolute crack-up. Talk about cooperation.
This is Banks' last story before she died. She will be missed.
John Alfred Taylor's "Steeple People" is too funny for words! A clever little business scheme with a concern for its accountant to verify its false set of books. From steeples to "roadkill" and a hijacked sprinkler system…
David Sakmyster's "For Sale" is one for all of you who has gone house hunting or sells houses. Mmm-hmmmm, a real steal…if you survive!
Norman Prentiss' "Man Who Could Not Be Bothered to Die" is just gross! Although, I do know the feeling…I'll probably just keep waiting for the latest Butcher, Armstrong, Kenyon, Mead, Singh, Harrison, Harris, Tremayne, Todd, Green, Hamilton, Phoenix and on and on and… Yup, like Tony, I'll never die…bwa-ha-ha!
Don D'Ammassa's "Last Demon" is a too funny story about Ogerak the Off-putting. A demon who escaped Hell intending to rule the world only to get there. To Earth that is. Poor baby. It'll give ya a whole new appreciation for life as we…well, suffer it.
Adrian Ludens' "A Misadventure to Call Your Own" is mostly funny, part irritating. It's one of those stories in which's you decide (from a possibility of three choices that crop up every few paragraphs) which direction the story will follow. It seems our protagonist made a bad decision last night and now he's paying for it this morning. Let's see where that body ends up.
Chris Abbey's "Smoke and Mirrorballs" is a dorky combination of Dancing with the Stars and famous characters from history and/or the classics.
D.L. Snell's "Brians!!" is so dorky that it's funny! For all the mama's boys and those of you who hate Stephanie Myers, come read this zombie fest!
Ken Lillie-Paetz's "Still Life" is two pages long and gets right to the point…unlike his artist!
Sherrilyn Kenyon's "A Day in the Life" finds Elliott Lawson hysterically happy to hysterically terrified in one short day. Let this be a lesson to book reviewers, editors, and publishers…oh, my!
Lisa Morton's "Old MacDonald Had an Animal Farm" is a quirky combination of Animal Farm, Dr. Doolittle, and I am Legend…I ain't sayin' another word…
I have to confess I think Meowsy's name is too cute…don't tell my kittens I said that!
Brad C. Hodson's "Two for Transylvania" pokes fun at the Dracula classic and the scam artists. Too bad ol' Drac didn't read Bram Stoker before starting this little scheme.
Lucien Soulban's "Four Horsemen Reunion Tour: An Apocumentary" will appeal to anyone who follows rock 'n roll documentaries.
The Cover and Title
The cover is white with a close-up of a vampire's very white chin and her black lips and nails. Licking a bloody lollipop certainly adds a certain je ne sais quoi, LOL.
Blood Lite III is the third in this ongoing series of anthologies while the subtitle (it's really the title), well, let's just say it definitely leaves an Aftertaste…
Read this just for the short story. Will get back to it someday.