Reviews with content warning for Toxic friendship - Om jag var din tjej

Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

Om jag var din tjej by Meredith Russo, Cecilia Falk

9 reviews

d00rframe's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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basicallybug's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

What can I say about this novel? What words exist to encompass how I feel right now. I first bought this book a few years ago, a few weeks after I had come out to my mother as lesbian (which... is a story in and of itself.) I wanted to challenge myself to stay out of the closet, and that started with bringing queer literature home. Life happened, and I didn't get a chance to keep reading. However, as part of my new years resolutions, I elected to read more - starting by finishing books I forgot about. If I Was Your Girl is one of the best books I've ever read, hands down. The plot twist had me floored, with genuine emotions pouring out of me, and the storyline felt natural, not exceptionally rushed in some places while slow in others. As a non-binary reader, it absolutely gave me insight into what life is like for those who grapple with heavier self-hatred than I do, all while keeping me engaged with the storyline, rooting for the characters. I cannot reccomend this book enough.

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mandala_eyes's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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kia_y_k's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful lighthearted sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

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bittersorbitol's review against another edition

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challenging hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

The romance wasn't my favourite, but I loved the main character and her friends, as well as the narration style of jumping between past and present scenes. I'm engaged to a trans woman, and while this book certainly does touch on a lot of important and relative topics it's important to keep in mind that a lot of it is fictionalized for ease of understanding (this is addressed directly by the author)

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jesikasbookshelf's review against another edition

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slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

Nope.
Nope.
Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope.

For the first quarter or so I thought this book was underwhelming representation in a YA novel. God, I wish I'd quit still thinking that.

This book is nothing short of irresponsible publishing.

For a book marketed as a light and sweet YA romance, this book is nothing, and I truly mean nothing, other than protracted queer trauma. The main character is trans - not only does this book make her ONLY identifiable 'personality' the idea that she is pretty and trans, it perpetuates harmful misunderstandings of the trans community from the singular need for top and bottom surgery, through the lack of ongoing therapy to the young and apparently extremely quick uptake of accessible surgery.

So in some ways, this book manages to completely gloss over the very real fight transgender people go through to live as themselves in western society, thereby failing to reflect on the ways in which the main character has had to be traumatised at a young age.

What it does instead is focus entirely on the trauma she experiences socially. Her dad continually deadnames and misgenders her. There is a long scene depicting her suicide attempt not from an explanation of how often she has learned her trans friends have succeeded. There is depictions of religious prejudice and societal homophobia/transphobia that culminate in a girl offering to be her friend even though "I think it's a sin"...and the main character THANKS HER. A bi character is shown telling people that all homophones are secretly gay, a disturbing thing to be telling kids in a book, only to progress to publically outing everyone she can think of when turned down by the straight main character. The love interests mum calls the main character a slur, he makes horrendous comments about her gender and genitalia and then offers to stick by her anyway...for which she is endlessly grateful. Her parents allow her to return to a school that has failed to protect her in a community that has harmed her.

I'm so angry. None of this is OK, particularly when none of it is then dealt with. There's no emotional arc or growth or character development here. No one learns anything or meaningfully changes their behaviour, exception only the main characters dad. There is no reflection on the trauma being unacceptable, on the need for change or the need for support and protection of rights. The book just uses trans and queer pain as plot points and acts as though that is acceptable.

And then, in this anger, I looked up the author after finishing the book and I just cannot believe any publisher is allowing this person to speak about their community with a book that includes sexual assault. Horrendous.

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