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bboduffy's review against another edition
4.0
As a lonely only child, the closest I came to having siblings was through books. So, seeking to understand the nuances of sibling dynamics and get insight into supporting reconciliation, I turned here.
It was a quick read (finished within a commute and a half), with a ton of qualitative stories and thematic anecdotes, but was overall light on academic research. That said, the individual psychological complexities of interpersonal interactions would probably make achieving peer-reviewed validity difficult. But I digress.
I can't share kindle highlights as this was a library book, but here are two passages I found meaningful:
"By midlife, most people have given up trying to change their aging parents and make efforts to come to terms with them because they realize the significance (and the time limits) of the relationship. But a sibling is a peer and somehow expendable. That bond feels less central to your own destiny or emotional health. There is much less urgency about addressing problems that you imagine you can simply avoid. But siblings are as much a part of our present as our parents, and perhaps even more important for our future. The more troubled the relationship, the more power it has over us."
"Even if you haven’t seen them in decades, troublesome siblings accompany you everywhere—the bedroom, the professional meeting, the cocktail party. They are psychically present when you work with a colleague, when your friend has a triumph or a failure. Collaboration, competition, making friends and losing them, bear their marks."
These speak to the difficulty and importance of working towards reconciliation. I can't give advice, as I'm an only child, but I can be supportive and try to educate myself and remain cautiously optimistic.
It was a quick read (finished within a commute and a half), with a ton of qualitative stories and thematic anecdotes, but was overall light on academic research. That said, the individual psychological complexities of interpersonal interactions would probably make achieving peer-reviewed validity difficult. But I digress.
I can't share kindle highlights as this was a library book, but here are two passages I found meaningful:
"By midlife, most people have given up trying to change their aging parents and make efforts to come to terms with them because they realize the significance (and the time limits) of the relationship. But a sibling is a peer and somehow expendable. That bond feels less central to your own destiny or emotional health. There is much less urgency about addressing problems that you imagine you can simply avoid. But siblings are as much a part of our present as our parents, and perhaps even more important for our future. The more troubled the relationship, the more power it has over us."
"Even if you haven’t seen them in decades, troublesome siblings accompany you everywhere—the bedroom, the professional meeting, the cocktail party. They are psychically present when you work with a colleague, when your friend has a triumph or a failure. Collaboration, competition, making friends and losing them, bear their marks."
These speak to the difficulty and importance of working towards reconciliation. I can't give advice, as I'm an only child, but I can be supportive and try to educate myself and remain cautiously optimistic.
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