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mokey4's review
4.0
This book was not what I expected, or exactly what I was looking for, but it was still extremely interesting and helpful! I picked up this book because my 7 year old daughter has been saying "no one likes me" and "I have no friends" a lot lately. But all the evidence points to the contrary- she appears to make friends very easily, has almost no social fear, and is always playing with whatever other kids are around! So I wanted to get to the bottom of this, and see if there's anything I can/should do. Her particular "problem" was not directly addressed in the book, but I did find that there are much bigger problems out there in girl-land. And that I probably have no need to worry, as long as I parent my kids well- support them through disappointment, help them deal with their emotions, but generally let them live their own lives. The usual stuff.
What I really loved about this book is the way it deciphered children's social hierarchy, and why there is a hierarchy at all, why some kids are at the top and others at the bottom. It helped me understand when this hierarchy gets out of control and becomes very dysfunctional and possibly damaging to the children- and how the adults can and should step in. I don't think my kids have been in that environment (yet) but I recognize it from my own childhood. So it was helpful to process some of the stuff that I and my sister went through, understand why it was the way it was, and recognize the signs of something like that happening with my own kids.
What I really loved about this book is the way it deciphered children's social hierarchy, and why there is a hierarchy at all, why some kids are at the top and others at the bottom. It helped me understand when this hierarchy gets out of control and becomes very dysfunctional and possibly damaging to the children- and how the adults can and should step in. I don't think my kids have been in that environment (yet) but I recognize it from my own childhood. So it was helpful to process some of the stuff that I and my sister went through, understand why it was the way it was, and recognize the signs of something like that happening with my own kids.
melissasbookshelf's review
4.0
This book was insightful in distinguishing between what is normal and abnormal in childhood social situations. It was helpful in illustrating many of the situations children experience in elementary, jr. high and high school. It also made me realize that often what we think might be a traumatizing situation for our child turns out to be not that bad. My only wish was that there was a little more advice on how to help children cope with the all too real pain of exclusion and teasing.
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