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lbarsk's review against another edition
5.0
THIS RULED. I absolutely tore through it and found it such a joyful, accepting read. Jewish neurodivergent kink! What more could you ask for!
blanx369's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
sheepwithteeth's review against another edition
3.0
the setup and broader story can feel a little clunky at times, but it is worth it for the slow progression within the central relationship and a well-written and very compelling D/s dynamic between the main characters. The book is written with a lot of care for its characters and shows a community of people doing their best to care for each other and going out of their way to honour each other’s feelings and needs and boundaries. It feels a little /too/ perfect to me; there are bad behaviours by others in the past but no characters who are active in the story ever do anything that escalates into conflict or misunderstanding; at worst, someone’s self-soothing behaviours might cause another person some anxiety that has to wait to be resolved, but everyone is on their best behaviour and really practiced at negotiating boundaries so it never feels like the trajectory the story is on might get interrupted. I haven’t read much romance and I think this might be an intentional engagement with the genre. It has a wish-fulfilment sort of energy; a vision for how wonderful it could be if everyone in our real-world communities could treat each other with this degree of patience and kindness and care.
kays_reading_journal's review against another edition
4.25
I forgot to write an actual review so you get: the notes I took along the way:
I picked up this book for the sex but also wow the education
I picked up this book for the sex but also wow the education
Some reviews have said it reads like a how to manual and I just don’t really see that at all. While it’s prob the most informative romance I’ve read, it still reads like fiction. I really enjoyed it.
There were a LOT of people. Like too many. It’s helpful that there’s a cast of characters but it’s at the back so I didn’t notice it.
Incredibly refreshing to read about characters in their 40-50s that are still figuring their shit out (while also a little saddening to learn that being an adult doesn’t automatically make you know things lol)
macattack86's review
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
beanusminimus's review against another edition
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
I should start by saying that I enjoyed this book, especially the unapologetic and realistic Jewish representation, and the fact that the author is clearly familiar with kink, gender, and neurodivergence matters.
that said, I found the writing somewhat clunky, including the dialogue at times. the style is more tell than show, the characters are all - always - trying their best (I can think of one barely-named character that behaves poorly and is taken to task for it), and there isn't much moral nuance. to me it felt more like a comfort fic than a fully fledged book. I can very much see this book being a comfort read for a lot of people, but I would hesitate greatly before calling it challenging or emotionally adventurous.
that said, I found the writing somewhat clunky, including the dialogue at times. the style is more tell than show, the characters are all - always - trying their best (I can think of one barely-named character that behaves poorly and is taken to task for it), and there isn't much moral nuance. to me it felt more like a comfort fic than a fully fledged book. I can very much see this book being a comfort read for a lot of people, but I would hesitate greatly before calling it challenging or emotionally adventurous.
rackncheese's review against another edition
4.0
Really enjoyed this as an exploration of sapphic autistic and polyamorous relationships as well as a positive literary portrayal of kink and how healing it can be in safe spaces. Some of the dialogue was a bit stilted and I would have liked some deeper characterizations of a lot of the other side characters, but overall I thought it was a really sweet story.
friendofhayley's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
This is such a unique book, I really enjoyed it. I loved how sex was not the center of anything and self-care was. Can't wait to try out the recipes and I was overjoyed at the Kushiel's Darr referencr!
dominic_t's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
I really loved this book. The central romance between Leah and Jordan was wonderful, but I also loved seeing both of them develop other close friendships and become part of a chosen family. I loved how central Judaism was in the characters' lives. Jordan singing a blessing after putting a leash on Leah for the first time absolutely killed me! Both of the main characters are Autistic, and the author did a great job of portraying the intricacies of their neurodiversity. They wrote a lot about stimming, meltdowns, and masking, and I think they did a really great job of portraying the characters' inner lives.
Sorry to get horny on main, but the sex scenes and kink scenes were super hot. It made for a strange reading experience at the doctor's office. I guess I'm telling on myself here, but I found the portrayal of all the kink stuff to be pretty spot on.
I loved, loved, LOVED Leah exploring her gray ace identity and navigating how she wanted her sex life to change in the wake of her learning about that aspect of herself. The author handled that really beautifully, and it was cool to watch her discover new aspects of her gray ace-ness.
Trauma comes up a lot in this book, and it was a really nuanced portrayal of how trauma can show up in our lives years after the traumatic event. I thought it was handled really well, and I loved this beautiful quote from Leah: "The wounds I have are deep, and I patched over them as best I could at the time, but the patches I used cut me off from so much possibility. I’ve come to realize that I want to be brave. That I want to try to live into the fullness of myself even though it scares the shit out of me." I really relate to that, and it's a good reminder.
Xan West subverted one convention in romance that I often find annoying:the third act misunderstanding . Instead of that trope, the author centers the third act conflict around Leah healing from her trauma. I feel like this worked pretty well.
I think my one big criticism is that there are definite GOOD GUYS and BAD GUYS. The bad guys have no redeeming qualities, and the protagonists have no positive memories about them. The good guys (including the protagonists) never do anything really wrong. They inadvertently hurt each other sometimes, but they don't do anything bad. I would have liked to see more nuance, including characters who don't fit neatly within a good character/bad character dichotomy.
Sorry to get horny on main, but the sex scenes and kink scenes were super hot. It made for a strange reading experience at the doctor's office. I guess I'm telling on myself here, but I found the portrayal of all the kink stuff to be pretty spot on.
I loved, loved, LOVED Leah exploring her gray ace identity and navigating how she wanted her sex life to change in the wake of her learning about that aspect of herself. The author handled that really beautifully, and it was cool to watch her discover new aspects of her gray ace-ness.
Trauma comes up a lot in this book, and it was a really nuanced portrayal of how trauma can show up in our lives years after the traumatic event. I thought it was handled really well, and I loved this beautiful quote from Leah: "The wounds I have are deep, and I patched over them as best I could at the time, but the patches I used cut me off from so much possibility. I’ve come to realize that I want to be brave. That I want to try to live into the fullness of myself even though it scares the shit out of me." I really relate to that, and it's a good reminder.
Xan West subverted one convention in romance that I often find annoying:
I think my one big criticism is that there are definite GOOD GUYS and BAD GUYS. The bad guys have no redeeming qualities, and the protagonists have no positive memories about them. The good guys (including the protagonists) never do anything really wrong. They inadvertently hurt each other sometimes, but they don't do anything bad. I would have liked to see more nuance, including characters who don't fit neatly within a good character/bad character dichotomy.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Death of parent, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Suicide and Fatphobia
Lots of kink, particularly impact play and a dominant/submissive relationship