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cathdm's review
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Interesting, but unsettled by (infrequent but ignored/unexplored) sexism in a couple of the essays. Also, in one essay there was an allusion to physical disciplining of children could be a useful tool.
andrewfontenelle's review
5.0
Some honest essays on the experience of Black Men in Britain. Recommended reading.
spyralnode's review
challenging
emotional
inspiring
tense
medium-paced
4.0
'Safe' is a collection of essays walking us through the experiences of Black men in Britain in recent times. It's an array of different experiences, perspectives and voices, and it is refreshing seeing the diversity within this community and learning more about a community that I may only peripherally be involved with. I will never be able to fully absorb the strength of these emotions, but I would like to start to understand.
Naturally, it being an anthology means that some stories will resonate with each reader more than others. And some are also written more to my taste than others. My partner read some of the essays too and it was interesting to compare our notes. While many of the stories do have an emphasis on being Black as a cause for things happening, some of these events might still be things that you go through no matter where you are coming from, but for different reasons and might in turn also impact you differently.
Some of the themes that particularly resonated with me:
- Black men and White women: I had never heard of Emmett Till before reading this book. He was a 14 year old boy, tortured and murdered in Mississippi after flirting with a woman. The woman was a cashier in a grocery shop, and her husband and his half-brother were the ones who went for this course of action. Decades later, the woman also said that she lied under oath. She said that the teen verbally offended her and touched her waist, yet this didn't happen, and she said that no one deserved this treatment for whatever they did. An author also mentioned being fetishised by White women, including speaking of the myth of big penises which comes from colonial times when Black men were sexually harassed. I've thought about events when I might have been responsible for such prejudices, and I really hope that I haven't done anything to hurt those around me.
- Names: I've always hated my name and how it screams where I'm from, it gives away too much. I don't associate with it, I consider myself more 'European' than pertaining to a particular country. And I'm a private person, I want to choose what I share. So I see the importance of names in establishing an identity, and conversely, can see why someone would want that bond. One of the authors mentioned how even in Jamaica, where their family is from and they feel most at home, their name 'Alexander' would immediately label them as a foreigner. In Britain, it would be the colour of their skin. Names carry meaning as to the events when someone was born, or the emotion of the parent, or an intent for their destiny too.
- Broken families: One of the first stories in the book speaks about a boy whose 25 year old single mother put him in foster care. He grew up with a White mother, and at some point his birth mum plucked him away. He was now living in poverty, with violence his mother would apply in frustration, not knowing who his carer was and how to share his affections. Another story talked about the beatings a child would receive from his mum and his stepdad. This is something I am firmly against, and it touched me very deeply. It is clear that this man was shaped by these experiences and this has bred a level of distance from his family, understandably.
- Social life: This is a theme that is reflected on in different ways, Black quotas in entering clubs, where you sit in the bus, how you wait at an ATM. It's heartbreaking to read about being avoided, ignored, run from, when you haven't done anything. No wonder that we are still such a segregated society, especially outside of London.
For me personally, essays that did not work quite as well were those that were trying to do a tad too much, explain the whole life of a person in 10 pages. I would like to think I am aware of racial injustice, and so essays that mentioned all the topics in one without going into detail did little for me. I knew about these aspects, and a lot of my call to action is the level of empathy that these stories bring through diving deeply.
Would highly recommend to everyone, please pick this book up, read it quietly, reflect, and take action.
Naturally, it being an anthology means that some stories will resonate with each reader more than others. And some are also written more to my taste than others. My partner read some of the essays too and it was interesting to compare our notes. While many of the stories do have an emphasis on being Black as a cause for things happening, some of these events might still be things that you go through no matter where you are coming from, but for different reasons and might in turn also impact you differently.
Some of the themes that particularly resonated with me:
- Black men and White women: I had never heard of Emmett Till before reading this book. He was a 14 year old boy, tortured and murdered in Mississippi after flirting with a woman. The woman was a cashier in a grocery shop, and her husband and his half-brother were the ones who went for this course of action. Decades later, the woman also said that she lied under oath. She said that the teen verbally offended her and touched her waist, yet this didn't happen, and she said that no one deserved this treatment for whatever they did. An author also mentioned being fetishised by White women, including speaking of the myth of big penises which comes from colonial times when Black men were sexually harassed. I've thought about events when I might have been responsible for such prejudices, and I really hope that I haven't done anything to hurt those around me.
- Names: I've always hated my name and how it screams where I'm from, it gives away too much. I don't associate with it, I consider myself more 'European' than pertaining to a particular country. And I'm a private person, I want to choose what I share. So I see the importance of names in establishing an identity, and conversely, can see why someone would want that bond. One of the authors mentioned how even in Jamaica, where their family is from and they feel most at home, their name 'Alexander' would immediately label them as a foreigner. In Britain, it would be the colour of their skin. Names carry meaning as to the events when someone was born, or the emotion of the parent, or an intent for their destiny too.
- Broken families: One of the first stories in the book speaks about a boy whose 25 year old single mother put him in foster care. He grew up with a White mother, and at some point his birth mum plucked him away. He was now living in poverty, with violence his mother would apply in frustration, not knowing who his carer was and how to share his affections. Another story talked about the beatings a child would receive from his mum and his stepdad. This is something I am firmly against, and it touched me very deeply. It is clear that this man was shaped by these experiences and this has bred a level of distance from his family, understandably.
- Social life: This is a theme that is reflected on in different ways, Black quotas in entering clubs, where you sit in the bus, how you wait at an ATM. It's heartbreaking to read about being avoided, ignored, run from, when you haven't done anything. No wonder that we are still such a segregated society, especially outside of London.
For me personally, essays that did not work quite as well were those that were trying to do a tad too much, explain the whole life of a person in 10 pages. I would like to think I am aware of racial injustice, and so essays that mentioned all the topics in one without going into detail did little for me. I knew about these aspects, and a lot of my call to action is the level of empathy that these stories bring through diving deeply.
Would highly recommend to everyone, please pick this book up, read it quietly, reflect, and take action.
absreads's review
4.0
As usual with anthologies, enjoyed some essays more than others - Owusu's own was incredible and a complete sucker punch, alongside Musa Okwonga, JJ Bola and Courttia Newland's. A great addition from a far underrepresented group in literature.
jhelisa's review
5.0
Candid and honest, this is a necessary and timely collection of essays focusing on a wide array of subjects unique to the Black British male experience.
Reading these varying accounts from childhood to adulthood and everything in between, it is very clear that this book is not meant to spoon feed. Each essay speaks to you as though you understand and there is little by the way of placing the onus on black British men to teach and convince you otherwise. Simply pondering and bearing witness their own lived experiences.
Standout essay - What's In A Name, by Mostly Lit co-host - Alex Reads.
Reading these varying accounts from childhood to adulthood and everything in between, it is very clear that this book is not meant to spoon feed. Each essay speaks to you as though you understand and there is little by the way of placing the onus on black British men to teach and convince you otherwise. Simply pondering and bearing witness their own lived experiences.
Standout essay - What's In A Name, by Mostly Lit co-host - Alex Reads.
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