Scan barcode
bhall237's review against another edition
3.0
“How? Then I knew. The diamond. She'd tricked me. She knew I wouldn't take that tiny diamond.
She also knew it could cut through the glass.
She was free. Somewhere, she was sleeping.
But night was coming. And she would wake. And she would come for me.
I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight. I don't think I will ever sleep again.”
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales by David Lubar is the third book in the series I have read and the first of the three that I had not read as a kid. Overall, this one was a solid start to the series and would likely rank slightly above The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies, but doesn’t reach anywhere near the heights of my (so far) favorite Attack of the Vampire Weenies. Again though, it is a great collection that was well worth a read overall, and below are my reviews and thoughts for each short in the book.
Fairy in a Jar - Fun story to start this collection off. What comes around goes around, not the best karma story as we don’t get to see the repercussions of the kid, but a good concept.
The Touch - Jesus, that was dark. Great setup and fantastic execution, even if it was a tad predictable. Still a great one.
At the Wrist - Meh. Not executed well, but the concept of a limb harassing you like Ash’s hand in Evil Dead 2 is always going to have a soft spot in my heart.
Crizzles - Good setup, good execution, fun little story. Nothing groundbreaking, but simple and effective.
Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board - That was awesome, really great short. It reminded me of the extremes of South Park episodes like “Marjorine”, just done with the underlying tension of horror and anxiety rather than comedy. Great story, great ending, all-around great story.
The Evil Tree - Another okay story that had more setup than payoff, and the payoff itself wasn’t anything great. Fine, not bad, not good.
Kidzilla - Really fucking wholesome and sweet. So goddamn fun and cute, I could feel the imagination and creativity from the perspective of the kid and just like childhood, this was way too short and all I wanted to do was look back and read it again.
Everyone’s a Winner - Eh. It was okay, but the lack of explaining 1) the monster of this story better and 2) why everyone forgot what happened irked me.
A Little Off the Top - Another okay story. This plays on expectations and misunderstandings more than anything, which makes this one more comedic than scary. Cheesy as all Hell, but enjoyable, not memorable, though.
The Slide - Eh. It had a good start, but about halfway through I got what was going on and where it was going, so nothing too out there or great in this one.
Big Kids - Pretty cool and creative story with this one. Not the best, but definitely better than the last few and had a good character arc.
Your Worst Nightmare - Great setup with a mediocre payoff. I love the idea of a bully getting cursed from a victim, but it didn’t play out as well as it should have.
Phone Ahead - That was great. Part Final Destination, part science fiction, equal parts amazing and shocking. Really fun and had a great dark ending that I enjoy.
Sand Sharks - That was fucked up. Really twisted that in a way that makes the main character proactively evil, not a bystander like most in these shorts. Really fun and creative.
On the Road - This was one of those wholesome and wholly relatable stories that I love to read in these collections, and the repetition and imagery really are easily relatable to anyone who has been on a road trip before. Great short story.
The Language of Beasts - That was so mean but a great example of the Needful Things formula given to a kid's short story. Fun, good but not great, and clever.
Class Trip - Eh. That one was pretty dumb. For the first half, I could only think of the South Park “Plane-arium” episode, and the second half had me rolling my eyes. Not a great story.
Collared - Awesome, really awesome story! The twist is super cheesy, but the rest of the story more than makes up for it. The imagery is super vivid and imaginative, I could picture this as a short film the whole time reading.
The Substitute - Goddamn that one was dark. Another one where the main character is directly evil for what she does or doesn’t do, but here I believe it’s more justified in a twisted way. Creepy as hell but truly great.
The Vampire’s Rat - That was perfectly written. It was a bit too morbid considering the target age range, dealing with death, even if it was that of a rat, but nothing that I couldn’t handle or that offended me, just shocked me. But holy hell, this was truly the best of the best so far out of what I’ve read from David Lubar if anything being just under “A Cure for the Uncommon Vampire”. Perfect setup, fantastic payoff, and the twist, it works so damn well.
Slugs - A little on the depressing side and one with plenty of potential, but little payoff; a good story that should have been great.
Snakeland - That one really struck a never with creating anxiety in me while reading this. The tension of waiting for something bad to inevitably happen was intense, and the payoff was a surprise to me. Great fun and the scenery of the desert and environment was vivid and easily visible in my mind.
Burgers and Fries - A solid wholesome story. Nothing crazy good, but solid in its setup and execution.
Game Over - That one was good. Not great, close, and had a great dark ending, but not perfect. The setup was the okay part with a great finish.
Smunkies - A fun little story about cheap kids' toys, a bit too unbelievable compared to some stories, but still all right.
Pretty Polly - This was dumb. I am not negative about any of these stories, but a killer parrot is just too ridiculous of a concept to be fun or taken with any seriousness.
Join the Party - Surprisingly uplifting and endearing, I really enjoyed this one. I like the use of anxiety and fears to play to internal horror rather than outside entities being the horror. Solid short, a memorable one.
The Billion Legger - Absolutely fuck that. I’m not a fan of reading about the descriptions of insects, and reading a story like this really gets under my skin.
The Battle-Axe - This one was a blast to read! It was fun from the first sentence to the last, with a great setup and even better execution. The ending was predictable and not the greatest, but still, a great story overall that I won’t forget.
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies - The titular short story, this one was not the best, but very fun and comedic, especially to someone who has grown up in a suburban town and neighborhood like the one in the story.
Sunburn - That was a dud. It was one of those rare instances where the payoff only occurs on the last page, but this was one example where the setup was not worth the payoff. Easily forgettable and leaves a lot to be desired.
Thin Silk - Australia, am I right? This one was okay, nothing great, sorta creepy if you don’t like spiders.
The Witch’s Monkey - Well that was fucked. I love the stories where a kid has a passion or love or desire more than anything else in this world which inevitably ends with karma or getting exactly what they want, just in a twisted way. Great short story.
As You Say - I liked this one. It wasn’t great or too memorable, but it had a fun setup and an okay payoff.
Hide - This one. This one was dark. Like, damn, there is a lot that is left to the imagination, but because of the inferring of certain points to this story, it can be as light or as dark as you imagine it, and I imagined some dark shit. Like does the brother have shining basically, what happened at the end, does anyone get out alive after the story ends where it does? Great story that lets the reader imagine more than interpreting.
She also knew it could cut through the glass.
She was free. Somewhere, she was sleeping.
But night was coming. And she would wake. And she would come for me.
I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight. I don't think I will ever sleep again.”
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales by David Lubar is the third book in the series I have read and the first of the three that I had not read as a kid. Overall, this one was a solid start to the series and would likely rank slightly above The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies, but doesn’t reach anywhere near the heights of my (so far) favorite Attack of the Vampire Weenies. Again though, it is a great collection that was well worth a read overall, and below are my reviews and thoughts for each short in the book.
Fairy in a Jar - Fun story to start this collection off. What comes around goes around, not the best karma story as we don’t get to see the repercussions of the kid, but a good concept.
The Touch - Jesus, that was dark. Great setup and fantastic execution, even if it was a tad predictable. Still a great one.
At the Wrist - Meh. Not executed well, but the concept of a limb harassing you like Ash’s hand in Evil Dead 2 is always going to have a soft spot in my heart.
Crizzles - Good setup, good execution, fun little story. Nothing groundbreaking, but simple and effective.
Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board - That was awesome, really great short. It reminded me of the extremes of South Park episodes like “Marjorine”, just done with the underlying tension of horror and anxiety rather than comedy. Great story, great ending, all-around great story.
The Evil Tree - Another okay story that had more setup than payoff, and the payoff itself wasn’t anything great. Fine, not bad, not good.
Kidzilla - Really fucking wholesome and sweet. So goddamn fun and cute, I could feel the imagination and creativity from the perspective of the kid and just like childhood, this was way too short and all I wanted to do was look back and read it again.
Everyone’s a Winner - Eh. It was okay, but the lack of explaining 1) the monster of this story better and 2) why everyone forgot what happened irked me.
A Little Off the Top - Another okay story. This plays on expectations and misunderstandings more than anything, which makes this one more comedic than scary. Cheesy as all Hell, but enjoyable, not memorable, though.
The Slide - Eh. It had a good start, but about halfway through I got what was going on and where it was going, so nothing too out there or great in this one.
Big Kids - Pretty cool and creative story with this one. Not the best, but definitely better than the last few and had a good character arc.
Your Worst Nightmare - Great setup with a mediocre payoff. I love the idea of a bully getting cursed from a victim, but it didn’t play out as well as it should have.
Phone Ahead - That was great. Part Final Destination, part science fiction, equal parts amazing and shocking. Really fun and had a great dark ending that I enjoy.
Sand Sharks - That was fucked up. Really twisted that in a way that makes the main character proactively evil, not a bystander like most in these shorts. Really fun and creative.
On the Road - This was one of those wholesome and wholly relatable stories that I love to read in these collections, and the repetition and imagery really are easily relatable to anyone who has been on a road trip before. Great short story.
The Language of Beasts - That was so mean but a great example of the Needful Things formula given to a kid's short story. Fun, good but not great, and clever.
Class Trip - Eh. That one was pretty dumb. For the first half, I could only think of the South Park “Plane-arium” episode, and the second half had me rolling my eyes. Not a great story.
Collared - Awesome, really awesome story! The twist is super cheesy, but the rest of the story more than makes up for it. The imagery is super vivid and imaginative, I could picture this as a short film the whole time reading.
The Substitute - Goddamn that one was dark. Another one where the main character is directly evil for what she does or doesn’t do, but here I believe it’s more justified in a twisted way. Creepy as hell but truly great.
The Vampire’s Rat - That was perfectly written. It was a bit too morbid considering the target age range, dealing with death, even if it was that of a rat, but nothing that I couldn’t handle or that offended me, just shocked me. But holy hell, this was truly the best of the best so far out of what I’ve read from David Lubar if anything being just under “A Cure for the Uncommon Vampire”. Perfect setup, fantastic payoff, and the twist, it works so damn well.
Slugs - A little on the depressing side and one with plenty of potential, but little payoff; a good story that should have been great.
Snakeland - That one really struck a never with creating anxiety in me while reading this. The tension of waiting for something bad to inevitably happen was intense, and the payoff was a surprise to me. Great fun and the scenery of the desert and environment was vivid and easily visible in my mind.
Burgers and Fries - A solid wholesome story. Nothing crazy good, but solid in its setup and execution.
Game Over - That one was good. Not great, close, and had a great dark ending, but not perfect. The setup was the okay part with a great finish.
Smunkies - A fun little story about cheap kids' toys, a bit too unbelievable compared to some stories, but still all right.
Pretty Polly - This was dumb. I am not negative about any of these stories, but a killer parrot is just too ridiculous of a concept to be fun or taken with any seriousness.
Join the Party - Surprisingly uplifting and endearing, I really enjoyed this one. I like the use of anxiety and fears to play to internal horror rather than outside entities being the horror. Solid short, a memorable one.
The Billion Legger - Absolutely fuck that. I’m not a fan of reading about the descriptions of insects, and reading a story like this really gets under my skin.
The Battle-Axe - This one was a blast to read! It was fun from the first sentence to the last, with a great setup and even better execution. The ending was predictable and not the greatest, but still, a great story overall that I won’t forget.
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies - The titular short story, this one was not the best, but very fun and comedic, especially to someone who has grown up in a suburban town and neighborhood like the one in the story.
Sunburn - That was a dud. It was one of those rare instances where the payoff only occurs on the last page, but this was one example where the setup was not worth the payoff. Easily forgettable and leaves a lot to be desired.
Thin Silk - Australia, am I right? This one was okay, nothing great, sorta creepy if you don’t like spiders.
The Witch’s Monkey - Well that was fucked. I love the stories where a kid has a passion or love or desire more than anything else in this world which inevitably ends with karma or getting exactly what they want, just in a twisted way. Great short story.
As You Say - I liked this one. It wasn’t great or too memorable, but it had a fun setup and an okay payoff.
Hide - This one. This one was dark. Like, damn, there is a lot that is left to the imagination, but because of the inferring of certain points to this story, it can be as light or as dark as you imagine it, and I imagined some dark shit. Like does the brother have shining basically, what happened at the end, does anyone get out alive after the story ends where it does? Great story that lets the reader imagine more than interpreting.
andrewhans's review against another edition
dark
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
theb00kcryptid's review
adventurous
dark
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
tahdens's review against another edition
4.0
When I was in elementary school the author came to my school as a guest author. I bought a copy of this book and got his signature on it. I hated horror (still do) but for some reason I remember very much enjoying this book.
I was at my parents house a few weeks ago and was going through some stuff in the basement when I found this book again. I thought I'd give it a read for old times sake and yeah, most of it was still enjoyable. But I think reading it as an adult just made me think about how... Yeah. Kids suck haha I hate them.
I was at my parents house a few weeks ago and was going through some stuff in the basement when I found this book again. I thought I'd give it a read for old times sake and yeah, most of it was still enjoyable. But I think reading it as an adult just made me think about how... Yeah. Kids suck haha I hate them.
jrandazzo's review
adventurous
dark
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
latintrees's review against another edition
5.0
this book is so messed up tbh
edit: it's been like 6 years since I read this book and I'm still not over that one story about the crizzles like it literally fucked with me I'm not kidding people like if you or your child is going to read it please BE WARy
edit: it's been like 6 years since I read this book and I'm still not over that one story about the crizzles like it literally fucked with me I'm not kidding people like if you or your child is going to read it please BE WARy
casualreader5's review against another edition
4.0
Great short stories that a very short and high interest with usually a twist at the end. Grades 3-6 depending on student.
More...