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mafemoreno's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
kconway23's review
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
sidharthvardhan's review
5.0
longlisted for international booker 2018
I know, right? As somebody of other said human beings are born free, but everywhere they are in chain. Chains of different types - social, religious, national etc. In this case, they are of family. The chains of expectations as to how mother should talk, behave, feel. I mean we all know that everyone can not be a cook, but we do always expect everyone to be a good parent. Specially mothers.
If you think about it, all freedoms boil down to just one freedom - the freedom to be oneself. And being a parent (again, specially mothers in a traditional patriarchal families) must take a heavy toll on one's freedom - for you are no longer doing what you want to do, but are struck looking after those stupid, smelling, needy little creatures that won't even thank you for the trouble (okay, why are people bothered with those children, again?) The protagonist of this somewhat autobiographical novel is a woman passionate about literature - in fact, so passionate, that literature is only thing that is beautiful to her - literature and sex (okay that is true for me too ); and she doesn't get much of either struck in her present roles of mother, wife and daughter-in-law.
But one's family stands by one in times of need. But what if they are not good at it?
I love it when prose mirrors the feelings of narrator with such intensity - and in my reading, the women authors seem to do it more frequently (Woolf, Plath, Lispector and now this one).
"I'm fed up with the fact that it’s not okay to bad-mouth your own baby or walk around firing a gun."
I know, right? As somebody of other said human beings are born free, but everywhere they are in chain. Chains of different types - social, religious, national etc. In this case, they are of family. The chains of expectations as to how mother should talk, behave, feel. I mean we all know that everyone can not be a cook, but we do always expect everyone to be a good parent. Specially mothers.
If you think about it, all freedoms boil down to just one freedom - the freedom to be oneself. And being a parent (again, specially mothers in a traditional patriarchal families) must take a heavy toll on one's freedom - for you are no longer doing what you want to do, but are struck looking after those stupid, smelling, needy little creatures that won't even thank you for the trouble (okay, why are people bothered with those children, again?) The protagonist of this somewhat autobiographical novel is a woman passionate about literature - in fact, so passionate, that literature is only thing that is beautiful to her - literature and sex (okay that is true for me too ); and she doesn't get much of either struck in her present roles of mother, wife and daughter-in-law.
But one's family stands by one in times of need. But what if they are not good at it?
"I can’t remember having done anything in particular to reveal how desperate I was feeling. For some time I’d been containing everything, or so I thought, in a swaying motion that was subtle though intensifying, when, suddenly, I was offered a seat and something cool to drink. Since when did sitting down and having some water get rid of the desire to die? Thanks, Grandma. I’m fine though. But they sat me down and brought me the glass of cool water anyway. These people are going to make me lose it. I wish I had Egon Schiele, Lucian Freud and Francis Bacon for neighbours; then my son could grow up and develop intellectually by learning that there’s more to the world I brought him into than opening old skylights you can’t see out of anyway."
I know that when he slides open the door I’ll turn into a black swan, and when he starts shouting I’ll be a castrated duck. Okay, I’m going in. I’ll stop trying to draw blood from a stone. I’ll contain my madness, I’ll use the bathroom. I’ll put my baby to sleep, jerk off my man and postpone my rebellion in favour of a better life. Me, a woman who didn’t want to register her son. Who wanted a son with no record, no identity. A stateless son, with no date of birth or last name or social status. A wandering son. A son born not in a delivery room but in the darkest corner of the woods. A son who’s not silenced with dummies but rocked to sleep by animal cries. What saves me tonight, and every other night, has nothing to do with my husband’s love or my son’s. What saves me is the stag’s golden eye, still staring at me.
I love it when prose mirrors the feelings of narrator with such intensity - and in my reading, the women authors seem to do it more frequently (Woolf, Plath, Lispector and now this one).
izzyske's review
dark
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
extremely vulgar/dark topics dealt with that are conflicting to give a rating on. the tone and language skill is amazing (can't imagine how interesting the original translation is), but i wouldn't have touched the book with a 10ft pole if i had known some of the topics present tbh.
it's the first 'shocking' book that doesn't come across as complete cringe to me (e.g. i DNF'd The Dice Game years ago because that one's cringey and deeply boring to me) because the author and translators are highly skilled. i'd personally rather not read something like this again but i appreciate the technical skills
it's the first 'shocking' book that doesn't come across as complete cringe to me (e.g. i DNF'd The Dice Game years ago because that one's cringey and deeply boring to me) because the author and translators are highly skilled. i'd personally rather not read something like this again but i appreciate the technical skills
read_outside_the_box's review against another edition
2.0
Difficile à lire, tant par sa narration décousue que par ses thèmes. C'est une femme qui ne s'appartient plus, qui vit de haine et de vide. C'est un couple faux qui refait les gestes d'une romance avortée. C'est un enfant dont un ne veut pas, qui détruit tout.
thebobsphere's review
5.0
Over the past few years I have read a lot about motherhood and different aspects from a generational look at how mothers make mistakes , the cultural gap between a mother and a daughter , a near one sentence monologue about motherhood and even about wanting to be a mother but substituting it for a love/hate relationship with a pet dog Ariana Harwicz’s Die, My Love is the first time I’ve ever read a novel about post partum depression.
The narrator has been a year with a baby and cannot cope with it. Throughout the book we get a look into her mind and it is quite frightening. Thoughts of murder, hatred and apathy are abound in Die, My Love. It’s also worth noting HOW the narrator got pregnant, which does not help her mental state.
The book is like a kaleidoscopic, which occasionally shifts perspectives now and then. But the main crux is the mental degradation of the narrator, As the depression takes over, the thoughts become darker bordering on evil and we can feel her distaste towards her husband’s vulgar habits. The episodic structure makes each piece seem like a violent punch
Is there a solution? no. As a cis male, I found Die, My Love a fascinating look at post partum depression and how males can be oblivious to this mental state. I was surprised at how having a baby can affect the mind. If I’m not mistaken this was also the first offering from Charco Press – quite an introduction. Anyway this is an explosive novel and I highly recommend it.
The narrator has been a year with a baby and cannot cope with it. Throughout the book we get a look into her mind and it is quite frightening. Thoughts of murder, hatred and apathy are abound in Die, My Love. It’s also worth noting HOW the narrator got pregnant, which does not help her mental state.
The book is like a kaleidoscopic, which occasionally shifts perspectives now and then. But the main crux is the mental degradation of the narrator, As the depression takes over, the thoughts become darker bordering on evil and we can feel her distaste towards her husband’s vulgar habits. The episodic structure makes each piece seem like a violent punch
Is there a solution? no. As a cis male, I found Die, My Love a fascinating look at post partum depression and how males can be oblivious to this mental state. I was surprised at how having a baby can affect the mind. If I’m not mistaken this was also the first offering from Charco Press – quite an introduction. Anyway this is an explosive novel and I highly recommend it.
sumiya59's review
challenging
dark
relaxing
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
vonai's review against another edition
dark
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
2.0
"Brak je kao dosadna večera koja počinje dezertom"
Očekivanje od žene da nakon porođaja izgubi svoju ličnost, i postaje samo majka. A kada se desi postporodjajna depresija, onda se žena osuđuje.
Očekivanje od žene da nakon porođaja izgubi svoju ličnost, i postaje samo majka. A kada se desi postporodjajna depresija, onda se žena osuđuje.