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thebradking's review against another edition
4.0
The portrait of fathers whether in conversations or in media is one of bumbling ineptitude, when it’s even addressed at all.
[a:Ben Tanzer|77161|Ben Tanzer|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1398632803p2/77161.jpg]’s book, [b:Lost in Space: A Father's Journey There and Back Again|21516369|Lost in Space A Father's Journey There and Back Again|Ben Tanzer|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1396840722s/21516369.jpg|24678985], is a welcome look into the complexities of fatherhood, the emotional roller coaster men have to navigate, and the struggles that come with (twice)bringing a new life into the world.
The topics range from exhaustion (“I Need) to sharing things with your kids (“I Am Your Father”) and death (“The Lion King, “The Unexamined Life”). It’s in these last stories that Tanzer’s work shines.
The most devastating piece is “Anatomy of a Story,” which rips open what it means to be a man and realize how helpless you are when your child is sick. Bred to protect, life quickly teaches each of us that our powers extend only so far. As one of Tanzer’s children is wheeled into the hospital for surgery, Ben retreats into his writing, the one place where he can exert control over what happens. More to the point, the story illustrated just how badly we handle those emotional experiences when our wires get overloaded and we grasp at anything to make meaning.
On a far lighter note, the “The Penis Stories” was the best portrayal of one of the worst horrors a man can face: being accused of pedophilia. The second half of the essay finds Ben trying to convince his child not to tell people that he “kisses his dad’s penis.” As he tells his son that if he must say these things he shouldn't say them in school or in public, I had to muffle my laughs so as not to wake my wife who was asleep next to me as I read. (Why does his child feels the need to say this? Mostly because his father asks him not to. Plus, the child seems to find it mildly amusing. They do say the darndest things.)
Once I hit my thirties, I stopped reading or just hanging out in parks and open spaces because you can only have so many mothers cautiously steer their children aware from wherever you’re before you realize it’s just a matter of time before something bad happens.
Tanzer is at his best when he’s ruminating on the small, poignant moments of fear that permeant parenthood or riffing the silly situations in which he and his children invariably find themselves. Less interesting are the three “Interludes,” which felt more like private reflections and interrupted the structure that created a nice ebb and flow of emotions.
But if you’ve wondered what it means to be a man and a father in the modern world, Lost in Space is a wonderful place to start.
[a:Ben Tanzer|77161|Ben Tanzer|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1398632803p2/77161.jpg]’s book, [b:Lost in Space: A Father's Journey There and Back Again|21516369|Lost in Space A Father's Journey There and Back Again|Ben Tanzer|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1396840722s/21516369.jpg|24678985], is a welcome look into the complexities of fatherhood, the emotional roller coaster men have to navigate, and the struggles that come with (twice)bringing a new life into the world.
The topics range from exhaustion (“I Need) to sharing things with your kids (“I Am Your Father”) and death (“The Lion King, “The Unexamined Life”). It’s in these last stories that Tanzer’s work shines.
The most devastating piece is “Anatomy of a Story,” which rips open what it means to be a man and realize how helpless you are when your child is sick. Bred to protect, life quickly teaches each of us that our powers extend only so far. As one of Tanzer’s children is wheeled into the hospital for surgery, Ben retreats into his writing, the one place where he can exert control over what happens. More to the point, the story illustrated just how badly we handle those emotional experiences when our wires get overloaded and we grasp at anything to make meaning.
On a far lighter note, the “The Penis Stories” was the best portrayal of one of the worst horrors a man can face: being accused of pedophilia. The second half of the essay finds Ben trying to convince his child not to tell people that he “kisses his dad’s penis.” As he tells his son that if he must say these things he shouldn't say them in school or in public, I had to muffle my laughs so as not to wake my wife who was asleep next to me as I read. (Why does his child feels the need to say this? Mostly because his father asks him not to. Plus, the child seems to find it mildly amusing. They do say the darndest things.)
Once I hit my thirties, I stopped reading or just hanging out in parks and open spaces because you can only have so many mothers cautiously steer their children aware from wherever you’re before you realize it’s just a matter of time before something bad happens.
Tanzer is at his best when he’s ruminating on the small, poignant moments of fear that permeant parenthood or riffing the silly situations in which he and his children invariably find themselves. Less interesting are the three “Interludes,” which felt more like private reflections and interrupted the structure that created a nice ebb and flow of emotions.
But if you’ve wondered what it means to be a man and a father in the modern world, Lost in Space is a wonderful place to start.
mikaelasheaf's review against another edition
5.0
This book is phenomenal. It's funny and brutally honest. It shows the fun side of parenting, but doesn't shy away from the fears and unwanted thoughts that come along with it. The writing is superb, as is everything else Ben Tanzer writes. I'd recommend this to anybody, parents or not.
sheldonleecompton's review
5.0
Ben Tanzer is a hell of a father. That’s the first thing I knew I’d want to say when offering my review and appreciation of Tanzer’s collection of essays Lost in Space, published this year by Curbside Splendor. It merits being said one more time – Ben Tanzer is a hell of a father, and in these essays he offers moments of triumph and moments of frailty and love and worry, tenderness and outright confusion. In other words, he nails it.
Which brings me to the fact that Tanzer can write, and write about fatherhood better than anyone doing it right now. In the first essay of this collection “I Need” we get an instant look at the one overriding state of mind for all parents after a certain point – need. The need for sleep, the need for time to yourself, the need, the need, the need. It’s a perfect start to what becomes a collection of essays at turns hilarious and insightful as well as full of strength but also honest frailty.
Take this exchange between father and son from “Bed Sex”:
“Okay,” I start, “Do you understand how people get pregnant?” “Yeah,” he says. “the boy puts in penis in the girl’s mouth.” Yeah, maybe on a really good day I think, or like an anniversary or something.
I carried Ben’s book around the house hunting for my wife after reading this passage. At one point, I stopped and thought, My new goal is write so that I make someone hunt other people down to show them something I’ve written. We should all write this way, I think.
Then sometimes, there are moments that wed both humor and sheer love, such as this one from “I Believe in You (Sketches on the Younger Child)”:
“For a long time, he had only one tooth come in, and it was enormous and weird, and awesome to behold when he laughed.”
This blend of both humor and affection can be found throughout Lost in Space and readers are lucky for it. In the essay “Sound Like Sleep” Tanzer relates to us the trouble his son has with sleeping, a problem he also suffers. During that essay, he writes of staying on the phone with his son during a sleepover. This shared experience and how, as a father, Tanzer gives his son his full patience is one of many moments when I just closed the book and stared at pictures of my children.
This books makes you want to be a better parent, even if you’ve been an amazing parent up until now. Now that’s what I call transcending simple storytelling.
Two essays I cannot recommend highly enough from this collection are “The Penis Story” and “You Throw Your Life in My Face”. Both will show you Tanzer’s amazing reach as an essayist. As my grandfather used to say, the first would make a dog laugh. The second will leave you feeling the most interesting place in the world is the city of Chicago.
Tanzer has flexed muscles some writers may never discover they even have with Lost in Space. There’s honesty to this collection only matched in my reading by some of the best pieces from Jamie Iredell and humor yet unmatched. I can’t imagine anyone is writing essays any better today.
Which brings me to the fact that Tanzer can write, and write about fatherhood better than anyone doing it right now. In the first essay of this collection “I Need” we get an instant look at the one overriding state of mind for all parents after a certain point – need. The need for sleep, the need for time to yourself, the need, the need, the need. It’s a perfect start to what becomes a collection of essays at turns hilarious and insightful as well as full of strength but also honest frailty.
Take this exchange between father and son from “Bed Sex”:
“Okay,” I start, “Do you understand how people get pregnant?” “Yeah,” he says. “the boy puts in penis in the girl’s mouth.” Yeah, maybe on a really good day I think, or like an anniversary or something.
I carried Ben’s book around the house hunting for my wife after reading this passage. At one point, I stopped and thought, My new goal is write so that I make someone hunt other people down to show them something I’ve written. We should all write this way, I think.
Then sometimes, there are moments that wed both humor and sheer love, such as this one from “I Believe in You (Sketches on the Younger Child)”:
“For a long time, he had only one tooth come in, and it was enormous and weird, and awesome to behold when he laughed.”
This blend of both humor and affection can be found throughout Lost in Space and readers are lucky for it. In the essay “Sound Like Sleep” Tanzer relates to us the trouble his son has with sleeping, a problem he also suffers. During that essay, he writes of staying on the phone with his son during a sleepover. This shared experience and how, as a father, Tanzer gives his son his full patience is one of many moments when I just closed the book and stared at pictures of my children.
This books makes you want to be a better parent, even if you’ve been an amazing parent up until now. Now that’s what I call transcending simple storytelling.
Two essays I cannot recommend highly enough from this collection are “The Penis Story” and “You Throw Your Life in My Face”. Both will show you Tanzer’s amazing reach as an essayist. As my grandfather used to say, the first would make a dog laugh. The second will leave you feeling the most interesting place in the world is the city of Chicago.
Tanzer has flexed muscles some writers may never discover they even have with Lost in Space. There’s honesty to this collection only matched in my reading by some of the best pieces from Jamie Iredell and humor yet unmatched. I can’t imagine anyone is writing essays any better today.
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