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leweylibrary's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
I read her.second memoir before this one lol but I did like this one better. The religious bits were a lot less frequent, but there were a LOT more about pregnancy and kids which I wasn't a huge fan of. Nevertheless, I know how big of a role those things played in her adoption story, so I get it. It was a really compelling and complicated story, and I'm impressed that she wrote about it so eloquently.
I can identity in some ways because of my being a test tube baby and my parents' separation when I was in early middle school. I got a lot of the same questions about wanting to know my "real" dad, but pushing my mind several steps further to consider not only having no biological relations around you AND being a visibly different race from your family...that's intense.
I feel like I still have a lot of questions having read her second book first, like what thoughts and emotions she was having about her biological family whom she did meet and talked to while her adopted parents were having their health issues and eventually dying. It was really lovely seeing her relationship with her sister take form, especially since my relationship with my own sister is a little like it, even if we aren't related by blood.
I can identity in some ways because of my being a test tube baby and my parents' separation when I was in early middle school. I got a lot of the same questions about wanting to know my "real" dad, but pushing my mind several steps further to consider not only having no biological relations around you AND being a visibly different race from your family...that's intense.
I feel like I still have a lot of questions having read her second book first, like what thoughts and emotions she was having about her biological family whom she did meet and talked to while her adopted parents were having their health issues and eventually dying. It was really lovely seeing her relationship with her sister take form, especially since my relationship with my own sister is a little like it, even if we aren't related by blood.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Racial slurs, Racism, Pregnancy, and Medical content
Moderate: Toxic relationship and Child abuse
Minor: Miscarriage and Cancer
thebakerbookworm's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
"Today, when I’m asked, I often say that I no longer consider adoption—individual adoptions, or adoption as a practice—in terms of right or wrong. I urge people to go into it with their eyes open, recognizing how complex it truly is; I encourage adopted people to tell their stories, our stories, and let no one else define these experiences for us."
I really loved this emotional and honest memoir. Interspersed with flashbacks, the author takes us through her journey of deciding to find and then finding her biological family, and all the conflicting emotions that come with that. Nothing is sugarcoated, and nothing is simplified. As the quote above says, adoption is different for everyone, and I love the idea of not thinking of it in terms of right or wrong. Adoption is too complex to be looked at in black and white.
This book was a quick read, but it definitely still packs an emotional punch. Not only is adoption explored, but as the author was Korean growing up in a mostly White town, she tackles issues of racism as well, and the added stress and complexities of being Korean and having to explain the racism you're facing to your White parents. I was constantly impressed by the grace the author showed in her writing, while still being honest and not holding back.
This was my book club's pick of the month, and we had a lively discussion about it. The relationship between the author and Cindy was a highlight for all of us. <3
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Racism, and Toxic relationship
theresenatalie's review
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Racism, Xenophobia, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Miscarriage
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