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bluestarfish's review against another edition
5.0
This is a difficult one to rate. This was not an easy read. Drawing on a wide range of intimate stories the abuse recounted is horrendous to read. But thankfully it goes beyond that too. This is a feminist book looking critically at the concept/theology of atonement and other theological issues through the lens of the real violence experienced in this world.
Messages of redemptive violence/suffering are not helpful to people stuck in the middle of violence affecting them. This book was a real eye-opener for me about what damage some of the liturgy and practises of the Church might do, and I really am looking at the words I'm saying again. The strength of this book is making me sit with the uncomfortableness of this all. And uncomfortable it is in so many ways.
I have such respect for the authors for writing this book in the way they have. The personal stories take us through it as we hear from both women in alternating chapters. It's poignant and powerful. Sometimes it is important to lament with Jeremiah (9:1):
Oh, that my head were a spring of water
and my eyes a fountain of tears!
I would weep day and night
for the slain of my people.
And yet there is something more too, that presence which saves us.
Messages of redemptive violence/suffering are not helpful to people stuck in the middle of violence affecting them. This book was a real eye-opener for me about what damage some of the liturgy and practises of the Church might do, and I really am looking at the words I'm saying again. The strength of this book is making me sit with the uncomfortableness of this all. And uncomfortable it is in so many ways.
I have such respect for the authors for writing this book in the way they have. The personal stories take us through it as we hear from both women in alternating chapters. It's poignant and powerful. Sometimes it is important to lament with Jeremiah (9:1):
Oh, that my head were a spring of water
and my eyes a fountain of tears!
I would weep day and night
for the slain of my people.
And yet there is something more too, that presence which saves us.
noahbw's review against another edition
5.0
That this book intentionally defies genre is part of what makes it so good. Rita Nakashima Brock and Rebecca Ann Parker alternate writing chapters, choosing to write this book together not because their professions or scholarship have so closely aligned, but because the personal and theological reflections in this book emerged out of their supportive friendship.
This book is not a memoir (or two), but it does reveal the intimacies of two women's lives. This book is not a novel, but it is captivating. This book is not a work of theology or sociology in the clinical sense, but it does tackle Christian theologies of salvation and sacrifice head on, along with violence and sexual violence, race and racism (beyond the black-white binary), family and belonging, sexism and feminism.
Because the authors take us through their personal journeys, this book feels like one of companionship and discovery. Though it was written in 2001, it never felt outdated to me -- I never felt wanting to jump in and say, "oh, we've solved that now" -- in part because we haven't, in part because I was along for the ride with them, eager to learn about their worlds of the second half of the 20th century.
This book is not a memoir (or two), but it does reveal the intimacies of two women's lives. This book is not a novel, but it is captivating. This book is not a work of theology or sociology in the clinical sense, but it does tackle Christian theologies of salvation and sacrifice head on, along with violence and sexual violence, race and racism (beyond the black-white binary), family and belonging, sexism and feminism.
Because the authors take us through their personal journeys, this book feels like one of companionship and discovery. Though it was written in 2001, it never felt outdated to me -- I never felt wanting to jump in and say, "oh, we've solved that now" -- in part because we haven't, in part because I was along for the ride with them, eager to learn about their worlds of the second half of the 20th century.
megatsunami's review against another edition
5.0
This book blew me away. This is theology that STARTS from the stories of people's lives and draws spiritual meaning out of that, rather than starting from abstract principles. You go, feminist theology practice! I was really moved by the authors' courage and compassion (toward themselves and others) as they explored some difficult questions. Also, it helps that the book is really well written (I could not put it down! didn't expect a theology book to be such a page-turner).
I didn't expect to identify so much with this book, as I was raised Christian but follow a different spiritual path now. But I really did identify with it - from my Christian upbringing, from my work as a therapist with Christian clients, and also just as a human being struggling with the existential problem of evil. I think this book would be of interest to all people interested in spirituality or in harm, repair, trauma, communities, and healing.
I ultimately felt the book fell a little bit short in the area of "What is the next step?" The end of the book really took us through the rest of the authors' journeys but didn't carry through with answering the question: If Christianity is not about how suffering is redemptive... what is it about? The authors said that it is about love and compassionate presence, and gave some examples, but didn't fully articulate what the theology of that would be. I kind of wanted them to explicitly adopt a restorative justice framework, which seemed like the logical extension of what they were proposing... maybe in the next book.
Some quotes that really spoke to me:
"Christianity is haunted by the ghost of Jesus. His death was an unjust act of violence that needed resolution. Such deaths haunt us. Rather than address the horror and anguish of his death, Christianity has tried to make it a triumph. Rather than understand and face directly into the pain of his death so his spirit can be released, we keep claiming he is alive. . . . This haunting has erupted into violence in the name of Jesus: the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Holocaust - the need for punishment, for judgment of the unredeemed, as if the infliction of more pain on others could cure our own." (p. 60)
"It wasn't the willingness to bear pain, or carry the burdens of others that transformed life in the places where life had been harmed by violence. It was strong relationships among human beings who offered their presence to one another. I began to understand that violence is resisted by those who reverence the sacred presence of human beings and themselves embody such presence in the world." (p. 110)
"In an essay on anger, Audre Lorde writes of the work of learning to train one's anger - to hone its energy to be used for life not against it. I believe the same must be done with compassion. One must hone the capacity to feel another's need for release from pain and not turn from that feeling but offer one's presence to the other. Empathic connection to another is not necessarily life-giving or life-saving. The empathetic bond can hold a human being captive to another's unjust demand. Our ability to feel for another can become an unholy bond in which the other's obligation to feel for himself, or feel for herself, is ignored. . . . Both our capacity for connection and our capacity for separation have to be cultivated into responses that are life-giving and life-sustaining. The power to hold and the power to let go, to connect and to disconnect, each of these powers can be used for good or for ill." (p. 197)
I didn't expect to identify so much with this book, as I was raised Christian but follow a different spiritual path now. But I really did identify with it - from my Christian upbringing, from my work as a therapist with Christian clients, and also just as a human being struggling with the existential problem of evil. I think this book would be of interest to all people interested in spirituality or in harm, repair, trauma, communities, and healing.
I ultimately felt the book fell a little bit short in the area of "What is the next step?" The end of the book really took us through the rest of the authors' journeys but didn't carry through with answering the question: If Christianity is not about how suffering is redemptive... what is it about? The authors said that it is about love and compassionate presence, and gave some examples, but didn't fully articulate what the theology of that would be. I kind of wanted them to explicitly adopt a restorative justice framework, which seemed like the logical extension of what they were proposing... maybe in the next book.
Some quotes that really spoke to me:
"Christianity is haunted by the ghost of Jesus. His death was an unjust act of violence that needed resolution. Such deaths haunt us. Rather than address the horror and anguish of his death, Christianity has tried to make it a triumph. Rather than understand and face directly into the pain of his death so his spirit can be released, we keep claiming he is alive. . . . This haunting has erupted into violence in the name of Jesus: the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Holocaust - the need for punishment, for judgment of the unredeemed, as if the infliction of more pain on others could cure our own." (p. 60)
"It wasn't the willingness to bear pain, or carry the burdens of others that transformed life in the places where life had been harmed by violence. It was strong relationships among human beings who offered their presence to one another. I began to understand that violence is resisted by those who reverence the sacred presence of human beings and themselves embody such presence in the world." (p. 110)
"In an essay on anger, Audre Lorde writes of the work of learning to train one's anger - to hone its energy to be used for life not against it. I believe the same must be done with compassion. One must hone the capacity to feel another's need for release from pain and not turn from that feeling but offer one's presence to the other. Empathic connection to another is not necessarily life-giving or life-saving. The empathetic bond can hold a human being captive to another's unjust demand. Our ability to feel for another can become an unholy bond in which the other's obligation to feel for himself, or feel for herself, is ignored. . . . Both our capacity for connection and our capacity for separation have to be cultivated into responses that are life-giving and life-sustaining. The power to hold and the power to let go, to connect and to disconnect, each of these powers can be used for good or for ill." (p. 197)
ezra_ercolini's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
slow-paced
5.0
I read this during seminary and I read it again after graduation. I think this is the most spiritually transformative book I have ever read. I just felt so affirmed and inspired when I finished it. I felt seminary helped me to deconstruct my faith and this book specifically affirmed what I was processing and helped me rebuild pieces of that faith that I needed.
andprevatte's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
em_kath's review against another edition
5.0
I could not recommend this highly enough. These two women turn everything about pain, suffering, Christ, and the the cross on its head in the best way possible. It is the autobiographical tale of both authors, but anyone who has experienced pain or loss, abuse or trauma, can find themselves within the stories of Nakashima-Brock and Parker. I'd like to give a copy of this to every single person I know and two copies to every pastor and seminary student.
libbyon's review against another edition
4.0
4.5 stars. This book was mostly really heart-wrenching memoir, and makes a really important connection to bad theology, and its implications (namely those that come out of penal atonement). The writing was very good, and it raised so many important issues and questions. The work of these two writers is so important.
lukenotjohn's review against another edition
4.25
This is not at all the book I expected it to be, and in a lot of ways I think it was actually much better. I went into it expecting a pretty distinctly academic, scholarly examination of the various atonement theologies that exist, a subsequent critique of them, and then the presentation of one that works. It sounds as though the co-authors also began this project with similar intentions, before realizing that in doing so they would be sucking the life out from what they hoped to create, and also fail to honor their lived experiences that catalyzed the project in the first place. What we have instead, then, is essentially two interwoven memoirs that are laced with gorgeously written theological musings throughout, which made for an unexpectedly moving and intimate read for someone going in anticipating purely scholastic theology!
The first section of the memoir, Rebecca's initial chapter, does somewhat provide the "presentation and takedown" I was expecting of other atonement theologies via her sermon series, which works well as an introduction to their discussion and a framing device for her chapter...but not necessarily as a fair introduction to those understandings of what occurred on the Cross. I was especially frustrated by the lack of nuance or articulation in the presentation of a liberation theology reading as well as Moltmann's "God on the Cross" understanding (which, as an aside, I still have trouble differentiating from her own take even after she explicitly denounces his later on). And from there I would say the book honestly does lose focus somewhat, focusing in on the unique and compelling lives of the co-authors rather than continuing to remain fixed on the stated intention.
While this could be seen as a fair criticism, it just worked really well. Because suffering is such a human experience and really only makes sense within that context, it wouldn't have worked to just read their musings on it as a theoretical concept - that already exists in abundance, primarily from straight white men. One could say this is the practice of feminist scholarship at its finest, prioritizing the lived experiences of women as the primary material and allowing insights and ideas and conclusions to be drawn directly from that. Although I will admit that I found Rebecca's story more immediately relevant to their theological exploration, I was still really interested in following Rita's narrative given my interests in theological academia.
As other reviewers have commented, it would have been nice to be left with a more satisfying, concrete conclusion - a formulaic theology of atonement to hold up against the ones they critiqued. The women themselves named at various points that they were tearing everything apart and feared there would be nothing new to build in its place, and to some degree that seems to be the case. From what I recall, they never walked us through an explicit interpretation of what occurred on the Cross and what its relevance is to Christians today and their understanding of salvation and suffering.
Definitively, they rebuked more conservative theologies (esp penal substation), exposing the God inherent to them to be a a cruel child abuser and rejecting the insidious ways they encourage suffering as a badge of honor or test of ones faith as counter-effective to the call to life all humans have. However, this only works for those experiencing avoidable suffering, and we are left wondering what those in a different context should consider? I felt frustration here, empathizing with the importance of avoiding an encouragement to suffer when it can be avoided but feeling as though the ways God identifies with and connects to those in suffering was being undermined. Rebecca herself, sandwiched in between her rejection of the idea that God uses suffering to encounter us, names that her encounter with God was at her moment of greatest earlier suffering. So I don't know what to make of that entirely.
From what I surmised, however, I think it's fair to suggest they came to a conclusion in line with a Process theology reading of Moltmann that insists God was immanently and intimately present on the Cross and NOT in control of or desiring that to happen. They certainly affirmed in much clearer terms the power of Presence in the face of suffering as the source of healing and growth, and also critically named the need for mourning and lamenting suffering rather than glorifying it as a sacrificial action of honor. And I can dig that.
The first section of the memoir, Rebecca's initial chapter, does somewhat provide the "presentation and takedown" I was expecting of other atonement theologies via her sermon series, which works well as an introduction to their discussion and a framing device for her chapter...but not necessarily as a fair introduction to those understandings of what occurred on the Cross. I was especially frustrated by the lack of nuance or articulation in the presentation of a liberation theology reading as well as Moltmann's "God on the Cross" understanding (which, as an aside, I still have trouble differentiating from her own take even after she explicitly denounces his later on). And from there I would say the book honestly does lose focus somewhat, focusing in on the unique and compelling lives of the co-authors rather than continuing to remain fixed on the stated intention.
While this could be seen as a fair criticism, it just worked really well. Because suffering is such a human experience and really only makes sense within that context, it wouldn't have worked to just read their musings on it as a theoretical concept - that already exists in abundance, primarily from straight white men. One could say this is the practice of feminist scholarship at its finest, prioritizing the lived experiences of women as the primary material and allowing insights and ideas and conclusions to be drawn directly from that. Although I will admit that I found Rebecca's story more immediately relevant to their theological exploration, I was still really interested in following Rita's narrative given my interests in theological academia.
As other reviewers have commented, it would have been nice to be left with a more satisfying, concrete conclusion - a formulaic theology of atonement to hold up against the ones they critiqued. The women themselves named at various points that they were tearing everything apart and feared there would be nothing new to build in its place, and to some degree that seems to be the case. From what I recall, they never walked us through an explicit interpretation of what occurred on the Cross and what its relevance is to Christians today and their understanding of salvation and suffering.
Definitively, they rebuked more conservative theologies (esp penal substation), exposing the God inherent to them to be a a cruel child abuser and rejecting the insidious ways they encourage suffering as a badge of honor or test of ones faith as counter-effective to the call to life all humans have. However, this only works for those experiencing avoidable suffering, and we are left wondering what those in a different context should consider? I felt frustration here, empathizing with the importance of avoiding an encouragement to suffer when it can be avoided but feeling as though the ways God identifies with and connects to those in suffering was being undermined. Rebecca herself, sandwiched in between her rejection of the idea that God uses suffering to encounter us, names that her encounter with God was at her moment of greatest earlier suffering. So I don't know what to make of that entirely.
From what I surmised, however, I think it's fair to suggest they came to a conclusion in line with a Process theology reading of Moltmann that insists God was immanently and intimately present on the Cross and NOT in control of or desiring that to happen. They certainly affirmed in much clearer terms the power of Presence in the face of suffering as the source of healing and growth, and also critically named the need for mourning and lamenting suffering rather than glorifying it as a sacrificial action of honor. And I can dig that.
zezziludu12's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
slow-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse and Sexual violence
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Suicide attempt, Abortion, Racism, and Self harm
Minor: War, Homophobia, Grief, and Infidelity