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jacki_f's review against another edition
3.0
Delia Bennet is the author of a series of household guides to such domestic topics as laundry, gardening and cooking, as well as authoring an advice column. Now she is dying of cancer and so she decides to use her experience to write one final guide: The Household Guide to Dying. While writing and researching this book (Delia learns about autopsies or coffins for example), she is also preparing her own family for her demise and coming to terms with a tragedy that occurred in her own life, several years previously.
The first half of the book is quite slow as we get to know Delia and her family. The introduction of the sub-plot, which involves Delia as a teenager, is initially quite confusing to read. The second half is stronger, as the characters become more developed. As a mother I found it almost unbearable to read about the ways that Delia prepares her young daughters for her death: making lists to help them plan their far-off weddings, teaching them the art of the perfect boiled egg and letting them illustrate her coffin.
Having said this, while I enjoyed and was moved by this book, I always felt detached from it. I admired Delia's strength, I laughed at her witty replies in her advice column and I felt for her grieving husband, but somehow the characters never became real people for me. I felt emotional at the end, but I also felt that the emotion had been manipulated out of me rather than arising spontaneously: like the difference between breastfeeding and expressing milk.
The author, Debra Adelaide, lectures creative writing in Sydney, where the novel is also set. The local references and jargon are very much part of this book. It might be helpful for the reader to know that Arthur Stace was a man who repeatedly wrote the word "eternity" in chalk on the sidewalks of Sydney for 35 years.
The first half of the book is quite slow as we get to know Delia and her family. The introduction of the sub-plot, which involves Delia as a teenager, is initially quite confusing to read. The second half is stronger, as the characters become more developed. As a mother I found it almost unbearable to read about the ways that Delia prepares her young daughters for her death: making lists to help them plan their far-off weddings, teaching them the art of the perfect boiled egg and letting them illustrate her coffin.
Having said this, while I enjoyed and was moved by this book, I always felt detached from it. I admired Delia's strength, I laughed at her witty replies in her advice column and I felt for her grieving husband, but somehow the characters never became real people for me. I felt emotional at the end, but I also felt that the emotion had been manipulated out of me rather than arising spontaneously: like the difference between breastfeeding and expressing milk.
The author, Debra Adelaide, lectures creative writing in Sydney, where the novel is also set. The local references and jargon are very much part of this book. It might be helpful for the reader to know that Arthur Stace was a man who repeatedly wrote the word "eternity" in chalk on the sidewalks of Sydney for 35 years.
essjay1's review
5.0
Funny and poignant, Adelaide writes so eloquently about death, and dying, and like all great novels you are forced to confront your own mortality.
amycrea's review
4.0
In some ways, I had mixed feelings about this book, particularly the backstory, and yet--and yet...
Four stars. There you have it. Maybe 3 1/2, if that was an option, but it's better than a 3.
Four stars. There you have it. Maybe 3 1/2, if that was an option, but it's better than a 3.
reachant's review
4.0
This story brought me to tears, not so much for the dying of the main character but more for the description of the death of the child, which touched me as it would any mother. It also renewed my resolve to 'not sweat the small stuff' and to just get on with it and do the things I want to do.
cathyleigh1's review
4.0
This book started slow and I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. The author does a lot of jumping around between past and present and at first I kept getting confused. But something made me stick with it and I'm glad I did. It turns out to be a very moving story of a woman coming to terms with her own death and with her past. It's about marriage, motherhood, daughter-hood and how all those things entwine.
wilhelmina_reads's review
3.0
Honestly pretty boring but it wasn't bad enough to constitute lower than 3 stars. The switching between past and present wasn't done particularly well and it was a bit confusing sometimes. Main character was a little annoying but mostly tolerable. Felt more bad for her family than her. The stuff with Sonny was particularly moving.
moogen's review
3.0
I really wanted to love this book- and in places I did. But every time the story started to sweep me along, the author indulged in overblown and unnecessary descriptions or launched into rambling musings that weren't always very interesting. Often I could have put this book down and not returned to it. The time shifts weren't always smooth and some scenes just didn't work for me. Plus I couldn't reconcile the young and old versions of the central character. But I'm still glad I read this book, There were scenes that were wonderfully moving and will stay with me. But the novel should have and could have been so much better.
l3nduhhh's review
4.0
That was BRUTAL. My guts are strewn all over. Ughhh it was so good but if you aren’t comfortable with death or recently lost someone maybe wait a while. I do feel like it gave me some good perspective and ideas as my MD constantly has me wondering how to leave well—to leave my family with love after I’m gone if I do die sooner than later.
redhickory's review
2.0
I can understand why people would relate to this book but it never really engaged me.
The movement between her present and her past was annoying, as I felt it slowed the story down, I didn’t feel as if I needed to spend as much time unraveling her past, when the first few glimpses into it, told me what was coming – I found it irritating.
I also found many of the events unrealistic and wasn’t wrapped up in the story enough to overlook these points.
There were a few nice moments – the decoration of the coffin (especially Archie’s contribution) and Mr. Lambert’s roses.
I think the tone of the book contributed to me not being drawn in by it too - the emotions were not really felt but masked as if by gauze or something – all restrained (which I have related to in other books but not here) and civilized and somehow lacking, easy for the reader to stand apart from.
I didn’t like the “everything tied with a neat bow” resolution of everything either – death isn’t like that, even when people have warning its coming.
The movement between her present and her past was annoying, as I felt it slowed the story down, I didn’t feel as if I needed to spend as much time unraveling her past, when the first few glimpses into it, told me what was coming – I found it irritating.
I also found many of the events unrealistic and wasn’t wrapped up in the story enough to overlook these points.
There were a few nice moments – the decoration of the coffin (especially Archie’s contribution) and Mr. Lambert’s roses.
I think the tone of the book contributed to me not being drawn in by it too - the emotions were not really felt but masked as if by gauze or something – all restrained (which I have related to in other books but not here) and civilized and somehow lacking, easy for the reader to stand apart from.
I didn’t like the “everything tied with a neat bow” resolution of everything either – death isn’t like that, even when people have warning its coming.