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niniane's review against another edition
3.25
I inhaled this book in 24 hours.
Sometimes it was poignant. Other times, the author was giving herself excuses and painting her ex-husband in a terrible light. She put the blame solely on him for their problems. Her own impulsive decisions of quitting her job, breaking her lease, and having several kids (one without his agreement) put them into dire financial straits. She defends her choices by falling back on cliches about motherhood.
She described an image of her clutching at her ex's boot to ask him not to leave. He was taking a small break while she was screaming at him during home birth. She insisted on not using the hospital and then he was forced to do a medical procedure on her at home because the midwife couldn't arrive in time. Then she painted it as him being cruel and neglectful.
She described J D Salinger as being charming to people to their face but hateful behind their backs. She also wrote an implausible part where he accused her with enormous fury of "loving the world too much". That didn't ring true. Maybe he accused her of being fame-seeking but she morphed it to make herself look better.
The section where she tries to puzzle together all the pieces and goes to read Salinger's early letters in the Smithsonian was well-written. It was like Harry Potter learning more about Voldemort's youth, and seeing his unpolished insecure grasping self doing all the desperate things he later despised.
She seemed to spend money like water. If she got any money, she spent it on a house, a trip to Hawaii, an expensive collectors edition book that is a month's salary.
After finishing the book, I read some of the author's Facebook posts and a couple articles about her. It turns out that she had an affair with her ex-husband's friend that she completely left out of the book. Throughout the book, she talks about the vast importance of writing honestly and not leaving things out. She violates many people's privacy in the book, which she justifies by saying that it's important to write without shame about even things that people would judge you for. That's the reason she gives for reproducing entire conversations and sexual acts between her and her exes including JD Salinger. But she leaves out her own actions that would paint her in a bad light.
Sometimes it was poignant. Other times, the author was giving herself excuses and painting her ex-husband in a terrible light. She put the blame solely on him for their problems. Her own impulsive decisions of quitting her job, breaking her lease, and having several kids (one without his agreement) put them into dire financial straits. She defends her choices by falling back on cliches about motherhood.
She described an image of her clutching at her ex's boot to ask him not to leave. He was taking a small break while she was screaming at him during home birth. She insisted on not using the hospital and then he was forced to do a medical procedure on her at home because the midwife couldn't arrive in time. Then she painted it as him being cruel and neglectful.
She described J D Salinger as being charming to people to their face but hateful behind their backs. She also wrote an implausible part where he accused her with enormous fury of "loving the world too much". That didn't ring true. Maybe he accused her of being fame-seeking but she morphed it to make herself look better.
The section where she tries to puzzle together all the pieces and goes to read Salinger's early letters in the Smithsonian was well-written. It was like Harry Potter learning more about Voldemort's youth, and seeing his unpolished insecure grasping self doing all the desperate things he later despised.
She seemed to spend money like water. If she got any money, she spent it on a house, a trip to Hawaii, an expensive collectors edition book that is a month's salary.
After finishing the book, I read some of the author's Facebook posts and a couple articles about her. It turns out that she had an affair with her ex-husband's friend that she completely left out of the book. Throughout the book, she talks about the vast importance of writing honestly and not leaving things out. She violates many people's privacy in the book, which she justifies by saying that it's important to write without shame about even things that people would judge you for. That's the reason she gives for reproducing entire conversations and sexual acts between her and her exes including JD Salinger. But she leaves out her own actions that would paint her in a bad light.
alappin's review against another edition
4.0
I really liked this book! I thought that the most interesting part of this book would be about the author's relationship with the infamous JD Salinger but I actually enjoyed reading about all of her writing and interviewing opportunities. She found success at such a young age and it was very interesting to read about all of the cool opportunities she had. The author's relationship with JD Salinger was a great addition to an already great book.
ilovestory's review against another edition
5.0
Joyce Maynard writes from her heart -- authentically, unblushing, unafraid to bare her soul and speak her unvarnished truth. It does not always flatter some of the people in her life, but this is clearly her view and her experience. If they want to write their own version of the story, that is up to them to do. I had an opportunity to meet Joyce Maynard at a book signing event and she was delightful, warm and as authentic as one would assume having read this memoir.
jjordankc's review against another edition
5.0
I loved this book! It pulled me in and I couldn't put it down. Once finished, I couldn't stop thinking about it and would love for a friend to read it so that I could delve into a long discussion about it. Anyone??? :-)
debi_g's review against another edition
I told my husband about this book and he said Maynard “sounds like Forrest Gump” because of all the good fortune and the path-crossing with well-renowned people that occur in her life. But she’s certainly had her share of misfortune as well. A story like hers is a marvel, and with apologies I’ll admit that it reminded me often of the theme song to a favorite show from youth: “You take the good, you take the bad, you take ‘em both and there you have the facts of life.”
I feel a kinship with the author, so that must mean the book achieved its mission, right?
I feel a kinship with the author, so that must mean the book achieved its mission, right?
kricketa's review against another edition
4.0
Reading this was a bit difficult because I do love Salinger's work so very much- I still do, I just love it- and it's hard to read a book about one of your favorite writers being a giant asshole to an 18 year old girl. But that's part of the story. I loved the rest of the story as well, about her childhood, and the sad tale of her parents. But the Salinger part really sticks out.
Maynard wrote another memoir as a teenager which attracted the attention of Salinger (already old enough to be her father). He wrote to her, and she wrote back, and he phoned her, and they talked, and eventually she moved in with him and ate many strange, raw foods and endured many strange, raw behaviors. His behavior, as she writes it, is absolutely appalling. However, it's clear that she is not writing the book for purposes of revenge. She was very young and wanted to be a good writer. He offered her help with her writing. She didn't sign on for emotional abuse.
Anyways. I really enjoyed reading this memoir, and I'm still able to enjoy Salinger's books as well-- with a little pang during "For Esmee with love and squalor." Oh well.
Maynard wrote another memoir as a teenager which attracted the attention of Salinger (already old enough to be her father). He wrote to her, and she wrote back, and he phoned her, and they talked, and eventually she moved in with him and ate many strange, raw foods and endured many strange, raw behaviors. His behavior, as she writes it, is absolutely appalling. However, it's clear that she is not writing the book for purposes of revenge. She was very young and wanted to be a good writer. He offered her help with her writing. She didn't sign on for emotional abuse.
Anyways. I really enjoyed reading this memoir, and I'm still able to enjoy Salinger's books as well-- with a little pang during "For Esmee with love and squalor." Oh well.
sambooklove's review against another edition
5.0
I read this memoir ages ago, but was pulled into a reread after picking up the e-book on sale. What an experience to revisit this after growing up into a fully actualized woman and parent. Maynard was traumatized from childhood before she met Salinger. Salinger was a predator. He very well could have led a cult, if he liked people more. Still, he preyed on barely-adult women, one by one. He may have written some good books, but the creative mind that conceived of such characters is inseparable from Salinger's narcissism.
Joyce Maynard may not be everyone's cup of tea, but keeping secrets for abusers is not honorable. She tells her story: messy, ambitious, deeply wounded by adults who didn't protect her. Her writing is fantastic, compelling, and brave. Brave before we were ready to face the damage powerful men have always done.
Joyce Maynard may not be everyone's cup of tea, but keeping secrets for abusers is not honorable. She tells her story: messy, ambitious, deeply wounded by adults who didn't protect her. Her writing is fantastic, compelling, and brave. Brave before we were ready to face the damage powerful men have always done.
favvn's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
I realize I ought to try to do a more formal review but if I do that I just go on and on and I'm sick of myself for it so bullet points it is. I will say, Maynard writes with such empathy and openess and a little bit of humor despite her experiences. It reads very easy and quickly despite the heavy subject matter.
- This is hardly the salacious tell-all it's claimed to be by the original critical reviews, and frankly, if Salinger never wanted to be written of, why would he continue a correspondence and begin a relationship with a girl made famous for writing about her life? What was he expecting? That she'd magically give up writing to live such a depressing and isolated life as he was? What egotistical bullshit.
- Imagine, being able to say JD Salinger taught you how to purge your food. (And set your already anorexic self up for an emotional-fueled purging subclass to it. Like God. I want to scream. As an aside, let this be a content warning for anyone struggling with an eating disorder, Maynard is very open and candid about her struggles to keep a low weight as a teen. Living with Salinger makes it worse.)
- Joyce Maynard is just as neurotic as me fr, fr 🩷 (yes I know this is Bad lol 🤪)
- One thing that occurred to me while reading is just how bitter and pathetic JD Salinger comes across at points. For all the wit and wisdom he put into his writing, as a person he just... didn't live it. Like what happened to Zooey's, "God damn it. There are nice things in the world and I mean nice things. We're all such morons to get so sidetracked." From his diet (Maynard's mother was sooo right to call it depressing!) to his hiding away from the world and bitter tirades against anyone from fans to publishers, it struck me as sad. He had all that money that allowed him to live so isolated and for what? He wasn't enlightened at all.
- I absolutely hate hate hate how much this book predates #Me Too and how it gave Maynard the Lolita-esque reputation as the 18 year old who threw herself at Salinger when her recounting of their sexual relationship makes it clear he was using her.
The fact that he continued trying vaginal intercourse with her despite knowing it was causing her pain? 🔪🔪🔪
- Truly heartbreaking to see Maynard's luck with men, between Salinger on the one hand and whatever happened with her first marriage (her husband filming her having a breakdown during a stressful Christmas morning instead of just helping her like she asked? Or even worse, leaving her alone and sobbing at the start of her going into labor to smoke a cigarette? 🔪🔪🔪) on the other
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, and Eating disorder
Moderate: Sexual violence
Minor: Vomit